Did I Really Just Think That?

Published November 6, 2013 by Angela

OK, I can’t even believe I am going to fess up to this, but I will. I told myself that when I started my blog (2 actually) that I would be straight-forward, honest, and not hold back.

So, as I continue to work through this homeschooling with my 12 year old, and after several hours of going over homework last night, the following is what I thought to myself:

“Well, maybe I can teach her how to cook and she will meet a nice Doctor and make an excellent housewife.”

Yes, I thought that to myself. Yes, I felt bad after I thought it. I know I was thinking it to myself half in jest, but just half.

Now, before anyone decides to get all righteous on me and tell me how many steps down the ladder I just threw women all over the world, let me explain what goes on in MY house.

Single parent, 4 daughters aged 21 down to 9 years old. The majority of their lives have been spent with me raising them alone, with the exception of my oldest who has an active, loving relationship with her father. Heck, I still go to his family’s birthday and holiday parties, summer cook-outs, and drop in for a visit when I’m nearby J Now, I certainly did not ever start out planning on raising 4 daughters alone. But stuff happens, mistakes get made, and lives change.

As a single parent, I do NOT get child support for my 3 youngest children whom are still at home. I do not get ANY assistance from my city or state in the way of paying for my home, food, or utilities. I am very blessed to have an amazing job with one of the largest companies in the world for over 17 years. I love my job; I love to work. I would have settled for a househusband as well, but that never panned out either 🙂

I have worked my way through college getting 2 degrees while working full time and raising my girls. However, it was never my intention to be a teacher. If I wanted to be a teacher, I would have went to college to be a teacher.

Now, with that being said, I also knew from 3 previous years’ experience that my 12 year old was not going to get up on a daily basis and go to school.

You’re saying– “Just make her go, you’re the adult!!”

Mmm-hmmm.

It doesn’t work that way. I have threatened, punished, physically put her in my car and drove her to school (she got out of the car and ran home). Called the school principal, teachers, counselors, superintendent of school, asking for ideas and help. I’ve called the police and had a state police officer stand in my house for 45 minutes and he could not get her to go to school (He told me she needs her behind whipped). She is on medication, she goes to therapy, I cry and get stressed out because I do not know what to do with her.

So I homeschool. I don’t get threatened with fines and jail time anymore, and she is learning.

It works for her, so I am making it work for me. I would do anything for any one of my girls, which I have shown time and again, usually without them even knowing it. But I am also smart enough to realize school and college are just not motivating to everyone in the world. She has a purpose and destiny in life, and it is my job and responsibility to help her find out what that is so she can nurture that and grow in it. Who knows, maybe she is meant to be a stay-at-home Mom and take care of her husband, raise children, and homeschool. Or maybe she is the next CEO of a major corporation who just hasn’t found her motivation yet.

What I do know is that she is important. She matters, she has a purpose, and she will make a difference. In her own, special, unique way. And I also know that I will be proud of her no matter what path she decides to take in life.

 

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