college

All posts tagged college

How Much Is Too Much?

Published March 1, 2016 by Angela

…and when you do it to yourself, should you really be complaining about it?

Yes, I did it to myself, and I am still going to complain about it.

Sorry; it is what I do…

So to avoid doing my homework for my college class. I did this:

 

And then I came home and did my homework.

And checked my 9th graders homeschooling homework.

And set her assignments for tomorrow.

And cooked dinner. And moved some laundry. And checked my blogs. And maybe cried a little…

I could get rid of my college classes, but I want to go further with my company.

I could force my 14 year old to go to public school, but it didn’t work before.

I could give up teaching the youth group at church on Wednesdays, but they depend on me. And I depend on them. To make me laugh, and learn with them.

So what do you give up when it seems like it is too much?

The More Things Change…

Published April 22, 2015 by Angela

…the more they really do stay the same. Such as parenting. In my case; single parenting. I have been a single parent longer than I haven’t, so it really is the only way of life I know.

As each child grows up and sets new goals, and reaches new milestones, it seems there is another coming right behind them and I get the re-runs of what the first (or second, or third!) one did, with the next one doing the same exact things, only with their own style and flair.

My fourth daughter will never, EVER be able to get anything past me. Not only have her 3 older sisters done and said it all, I remember I basically did the same things myself to my parents when I was growing up.

They do grow up, and move out, and get jobs, but they are still every bit as important to me, and I do not worry one bit less about them as they go from being my little girl to being an adult.

I would be lying if I said I was not anxious to have my kids grown and out of the house. And I try not to lie. Does that make me a bad mom? I know some who think that it does. But when your entire life revolves around your children; their wants, their needs, their achievements, and their failures, you do start to forget what it was you were supposed to be doing with your life. When you do it as a single parent (a single parent who has children that do not visit their father for more than 5 days over Christmas each year), you do sometimes feel like you are drowning in what everyone else wants and needs.

What were the goals I had when I was their ages? I honestly do not remember anymore.

When was the last day that I did not have to take someone somewhere, pick someone up, or have extra kids in my house? It has been so long, I don’t remember that either.

I know I need to take time for myself, and it is not like I don’t try to do just that. But by the time I get done taking care of the responsibilities I have as a parent, there is no time left for me.

Do I love my girls? More than anything! Do I regret having children? Not for a second. But that does not make me a bad person or mother because I am anxiously awaiting my empty nest 🙂

I also get told all the time that I will look back on this time and regret wishing my girls would grow up. Honestly, they are spaced 13 years apart from oldest to youngest, so mathematically, by the time the youngest one is out of the house, I will be well beyond ready for my empty nest.

My oldest is graduating from college in 3 days; I love her, and she was honestly the best behaved out of my four girls, but that certainly does not mean I wish she was 6 years old again. Or 12, or 15.

Thanks, but no thanks. That’s what memories are for; and I will have a heart full to think about, in my empty nest, all peaceful and quiet.

Staying Ahead of the Game!

Published January 17, 2015 by Angela

I have big plans this weekend of getting Erin ahead on her homeschooling assessments. Her school requires that she completes Educational and Technology assignments, which goes over using your computer, good study habits, being safe on the internet, and the like. This is one of two classes that actually has both semester’s worth of assignments available.

I know the feeling!

I know the feeling!

Her grades ending this semester are mediocre at best, and I am trying to develop a schedule that she will stick to and follow in order to get the grades that she is capable of achieving.

I can honestly say I get discouraged, more often than not, when working with her on her assignments. I am sure it is the mindset she has versus mine. I have gotten 2 college degrees online, and am about half-way through my Master’s degree, also online. For her entire life she has watched me spend hours on the computer doing homework, reading textbooks, and complaining about the difficulty of going to school online. I was hoping some of that would have rubbed off on her, but as of yet, it has not.

Confused Girl 1-30-14

If she can finish this school year on a strong, positive note, I may not be so strongly against her doing another year of homeschooling.

What do you do when your homeschooler can’t find the motivation they need to stay on task?

Silence is Golden…

Published December 27, 2014 by Angela

…and I am still enjoying it. Waking up in the morning, drinking coffee in bed, reading books, and watching mindless Netflix. Napping in the afternoon, not having to cook food, take someone somewhere, go anywhere unless if I choose to, and making being lazy an art form.

I am missing my girls, and truly hoping, and praying several times a day, that they are enjoying themselves, and are okay. I am not going to pretend it is easy having them away for so long, but I am making sure I use up every moment to do the little things I do not ordinarily get to enjoy. Meaning, doing a whole bunch of nothing.

I have to do the Scripture readings at my church’s early service tomorrow, I have a dinner date with my boyfriend and oldest daughter tomorrow or Monday, and a visit to a friend’s house on Monday afternoon. Other than that, I have absolutely nothing I have to do, and no where I need to be, before I return to work on Monday, January 5th.

I am most definitely going to use this time to get myself in a great place feeling rested, relaxed, and recharged. I hope you are able to get some type of personal break as well, and get recharged and ready for the new year. I have BIG things planned for myself and my girls for 2015, and I cannot wait to share that with all of you!

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When You Are Always Wrong…

Published October 17, 2014 by Angela

…no matter what you say or do. This is what my girls and I have been going through for the last couple of weeks. I am not quite sure what is happening or why, but things have become very tense in our home, between the girls, and between the girls and I. Yes; some of it is hormones. When you have 4 daughters, you have hormones. But I cannot blame hormones for all of this.

I am willing to take some of the blame. I have managed to get myself involved in a lot of different things that have made my schedule especially chaotic. I have less than 3 weeks left for my college class for my MBA, and then I do not have any more classes for the rest of this year. This is a great relief for me, and I am hoping I can actually enjoy the holiday season this year as much as I did last year. I have been short-tempered with my girls when they cannot do the most basic of chores or even pick up after themselves.

Are you really incapable of taking that glass you drank your milk from back into the kitchen and in the sink, since you are walking out there anyways to bring some other food or drink item into the living room? Every day when I get home, and every morning when I get up for the day, there are various dirty dishes all over the coffee table, end tables, sitting on the floor next to the couch, rocking chair, or anywhere else they feel the need to leave their stuff.

We will not even begin discussing having 4 ladies using one bathroom! I could do a show; “Big Hormones, Little Home.”

What I definitely know because I am always wrong; is that it means I am the Mom. And that I am doing something right. Because if my teens and preteen agreed with me, I would be acting like their friend, and not their Mother. So I will take this any day over the alternative!

The Calm Before the Storm…

Published October 15, 2014 by Angela

…maybe this storm will pass right by? Yeah. Not likely.

So no one felt the need to ask/tell me that one or more of them want to go live with their dad. I was also gone from 5:30am until 6:30 pm, thanks to a very lengthy Doctor’s visit that has led to several more Doctor visits. More on that, later

By the time I actually made it home, exhausted, I had to get my participation in for my MBA class, check Erin’s homeschooling assignments (which she is still behind, since she slept until 11 am) of which I have also set a new caught-up date of this coming Saturday.

It is just not going to happen. And I am just not ready for this argument right now. And the attitude. And the slamming doors, and throwing of things important and unimportant. And likely refusal to do homeschooling assignments as some sort of punishment for me when the only person she is hurting is herself.

I just cannot justify letting my emotionally unstable 13 year old teenage daughter move in with her father, who she has not seen since January 2nd. Who cannot keep a job. Who lives who-knows-where. Oh. And he is physically and verbally abusive.

Yeah. Not gonna happen.

So I will prepare myself for the attitude to come, and let her know I am doing what is best for her.

I cannot wait for Christmas and that big battle! 🙂

When You Are Just Too Tired To Care…

Published October 9, 2014 by Angela

…the big things of yesterday seem like minor things today. I thought I was doing fairly well getting acclimated back to 1st shift working / night time sleeping, but I was especially tired today.

I think the fact that I have errands to run, homework to do, and homeschooling work to assist with, I feel even more tired than I really am. The extra caffeine did not help either; it seems to have added to my overall feeling of tired-exhausted-sleepy-crabby-is-it-bedtime-yet attitude.

Dinner is cooked, and I am trying to not be frustrated by the fact that the last time I made potatoes, the girls complained because I did not make enough. So I made the same potatoes x 2, only to have one of them say “Oh, I did not like them that well.”

Not caring. Too tired to care. After I run my errands, I am hoping a great big bowl of ice cream will help me to care about the fact that I have a very important assignment due by midnight for one of my MBA classes.

Ice cream fixes everything, right?

It’s almost Friday, and that makes me smile 🙂