I did not sleep very well last night, and woke up with a very sore back. But my cat alerted me to the 4 deer in our front yard, and it was a wonderful site to see at such an early hour. I am grateful I was awake for it.
I have been grumbling for 5 days about a flooded basement in my new home. It is time to realize my good fortune, and be grateful that I had the ability as a single parent to buy this house for my family.
I wake up most mornings wishing I could sleep a little longer, and not have to go to work. But I will always be grateful for the wonderful job I have had for over 20 years, that has done so much for me, and provided for my family. Many are struggling to find full time employment that will support themselves and their families.
I’ve been spending months complaining about the 50 lbs of weight I have managed to gain over the last two years; yet I make no conscious effort to change that. I have a rowing machine being delivered tomorrow, and am grateful that I am able to exercise and get myself feeling better, and healthier.
I am grateful to have the choice to choose healthy food for myself and my family, when so many have little to no food at all. My cure all for everything that ails me? Honey with the comb, which fits great in these tiny Ball jars to take to work!
I am grateful for so many things every single day; but it is not often enough that I take inventory of those things.
…which was yesterday…. YIKES… good grief I have got to be stronger, more patient, slow down, open my ears, and close my mouth. I am not trying to feel discouraged that day 2 was a total bust, and that I should just go back to Day 1. Lesson(s) learned.
So my Day 3 is going better, and I am hoping for a quiet, uneventful night at home after I get out of work. This should be fairly simple to accomplish, as I intend on getting dinner on the way home from work, and doing absolutely nothing else besides reading or crosswords.
From my morning reading of “Hands Free Life”, by Rachel Macy Stafford:
“The next time you yearn to fill the spaces of your life and be all there, try using the visual image of physically removing the heavy clock from around your neck. Feel the weight being lifted off your chest as you give yourself permission to be in one place and one place only. Remind yourself these are the spaces where real living occurs and you have every right to devote time and attention to the most important spaces of life” (Stafford, 2015, pg. 42).
I know I have a very difficult time relaxing, especially when I see things around me that need to be done. I feel guilty when I am doing “nothing”, and I need to start seeing my down-time as when I can relax, recharge, and get myself balanced. It is okay to not get everything done at once.
I am sure I will be telling myself this every day for a very, very long time until I master this one task that seems so easy, yet is so very hard for me.
…how can there seriously be 10 days left before Christmas, and I do not even care?
Like I seriously Do. Not. Care.
Gifts bought? Nope.
Caring about these problems? Nope.
I think I have found my breaking point, and it is trying to buy a house.
I am so crazy busy at work, end of year stuff and packing up my desk to move to a different department…… trying to make sure goals are met for both old and new departments….
Buying a house that is ready to move in; unless if you ask FHA. Did they NOT learn anything from the last fiasco they caused? That last fiasco they caused has had me in this apartment for 8 years.
My girls want to move. My naughty cats want to move. And I want to move. But good grief; how can you ask me to take out the washer sink in the basement so I can not do laundry? And not give me an alternative?
I have 2 of my 4 girls still at home. One is homeschooling 10th grade (which is gonna kill both of us), and a 7th grader who I fight with every day to get up and go to school. And I am trying to do everything I can by both of them so we can all be happy.