…after four days in the hospital I have now been home for 6 days. It has been going smoothly for the most part, except for Wednesday and Thursday. Wednesday I had a slight breakdown and couldn’t stop crying. I’ve no idea what brought it on, but I got calmed down. Only to fall a little while later, which brought on breakdown # 2. I didn’t hurt my ankle at all, thank goodness, but I did pull some abdominal muscles. I was scared that I did something internally but iced it and it calmed down. Then Thursday I had another meltdown, which took awhile to get under control. When I left the hospital I was told to not take my daily meds until I talked to my doctor. Which means I have been off my Prozac for 6 days now, and am sure that is contributing to me being an emotional mess. I have a call in to my doctor to make sure I can start taking them again, but am still waiting for a call back.
My abdomen has been hurting all last night and this morning, and I am praying it does not get any worse before I get to the surgeons on Monday. If there is one thing I am good at, it is stressing myself out😔 Such as I have been stressing since I came home last Saturday about how I am safely going to get down the ramp my brother built to get to my appointment Monday. I do have a couple people lined up to be here along with my friend who is taking me, to make sure I safely get in the car.
I have been alone during the day while my 13 year old is at school, so I try to sleep to avoid needing to get up to use the bathroom more than is absolutely necessary. She has a half day today, as well as Monday and Tuesday. After my appointment Monday I will have a better idea of how my ankle is healing and will get confirmation that my abdomen is okay.
Puzzle books and documentaries have been getting me through, as well as a lot of conversations with God. I am so not used to being helpless like this, and when I get anxious prayer certainly helps calm me down. I have had friends bringing food as well as other things I need, and it amazes me the wonderful circle of friends I have.
My 13 year old has been beyond wonderful, and it brings tears to my eyes watching her be so caring of me and my needs. She messages me from school to see how I am doing as well as making sure I take my pills on time.
It is definitely the times of trials and hardships that you learn what you are made of!
… well, hoping my oldest runs to the library for me while she is spending the weekend with me. I wonder if there is a limit on how many books can be checked out? I’ve been continuing the Nancy Drew series and I can literally read 4 or 5 of those a day if that is all I was reading. But I do have other things to read as well 😊
As far as I know my surgery went well. The surgeon didn’t come and see me at all yesterday after I got back to my room. I have been here all alone as well so I don’t even know how long the surgery took. They had to put a metal plate and screws in as I broke 3 different ankle bones. I definitely have a long and painful road ahead of me.
My oldest daughter will be picking me up today and spending the weekend with me, so I’m a happy girl about that.
Trying to not stress about the fact that I have no idea what I am going to do Monday when she is back home and my 13 year old has school all morning and afternoon.
Definitely looking forward to getting home, seeing my cats, and being in my own bed!
I am currently sitting at home, waiting for a plumber to show up and fix my flooded basement. Trying to keep it positive, but I had every intention of running some errands this afternoon, getting to church to help with the youth group, and going to the Lenten service.
It appears that none of this is going to happen……I have a sneaking suspicion of what it is going to cost to fix this mess; knowing what the issue is. At this point, I honestly do not care. I am tired of running into my basement every time someone turns on a faucet. I threw out so many books, pictures, clothes, and shoes that I cannot afford to do that one more time.
So for getting out of work early? Yay! The reason why? Boo.
Here is to tomorrow; but I will make the best of today, and unpack and clean as many things as I can!
…being as irritating as possible, in the hopes that I will tell her to move out before she graduates. Before she gets a job. Before she can financially support herself.
I really do not think she understands that once this happens, she will truly be cut off from any financial assistance from me.
The only thing that I am still obligated to pay for (kind of), is the car insurance that automatically comes out of my paycheck every week. Which is why two weeks ago I took her to our Secretary of State and signed the car title over to her. Which means I am NOT obligated to have insurance on the car I gave her. But she sure is. That also means I can cancel the insurance tomorrow if I choose to do so.
She has her Senior prom tomorrow. She graduates in 4 weeks. I keep telling her to focus on school; not on how fast she can be a grown-ass adult and living on her own.
So the drama continues. I honestly hope that she is still living in this house when she graduates. Because if she isn’t, I am probably not likely to host her open house the weekend after.
Yes; I am a bad Mom.
I do not care.
I swear to goodness if one more of my children asks me for one tiny thing, my head is going to explode.
I hate seeing I have a message or missed call on my phone. Because I start wondering what one of my kids is asking me for. And 99% of the time, that is exactly what it is.
Yes, I gave birth to them.
No, they did not ask to be born. And when one of them had the nerve to say that to me? My reply was, “It is a good thing you did not ask to be born; because the answer would have been no!”
This sense of entitlement is literally driving me mad, and I am partially responsible for it. Being a single parent with 4 daughters, it was, and still is, hard to fight a specific battle with each specific child every day. Sometimes I gave in. And now I am paying for it.