Yes; that sounds strange being that it is only the 3rd week into the year 2019. I am referring to what was a year ago today that I slipped down my icy front steps and broke my right ankle in 3 places; left side, back, right side, or as the surgeon said, I managed the trifecta of all possible breaks.
What followed was 11 weeks of pain, panic, anxiety, depression,
and devastation. I know that sounds overly dramatic, but it was that much of a
horrible experience. The rest of the year didn’t fare much better, to be
I was basically bedridden for 11 weeks, leaving the house only for doctor’s appointments 3 different times, and when I was mostly healed, two trips out with my kids for fresh air, food, and a feeling of normalcy. I probably went back to work sooner than I should have, still severely limping, but I could not bear one more day in my house; my bedroom; alone while kids were at school; fighting panic attacks.
I knew this happened to me for a reason, and I was
determined to learn from this. I returned to work, and life returned to what it
had been before; not terrible by any means, but certainly not fantastic either.
I still didn’t fully appreciate how lucky I was (still am!) to have a great
job, a house to live in, food to eat, health insurance, and four wonderful
daughters. I am truly Blessed with everything I have in my life, and I am
focusing on appreciating this fact.
So 2019 has some old challenges, and as I conquer them, new ones will appear. I need to get healthy physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I am still focused on one-day-at-a-time, while knowing what my end goals are for the year, and further beyond.
I cannot wait for the first update on this latest journey for me!
…sounds pretty simple, yes? Apparently not for me. I am the
Queen of excuses, the Ruler of Starting
Tomorrows, and the Mother of Procrastination. I have an excuse for
everything, most times two. There is always a good reason to start tomorrow.
And we all know tomorrow never comes.
But today is here, and I am blessed and grateful to have it. It is a gift; and it is a gift I will not waste. I will do something positive for someone else today. I will do something positive for me. I will thank God throughout the day for giving me this day.
Focusing on the positives I have in my life, and I have so
very many, may be just what I need to keep the anxiety and panic attacks at
bay. That means I have to choose to not get angry about things outside of my
control, or get frustrated with the people around me. That means choosing to be
a better me. Which is completely in my control. I choose to be happy today. I
choose to be grateful today. I choose to live this day to the fullest. Do you
have goals for your day? May it be full of your greatest blessings!
Yes, I am a bit late with my resolutions, but I also find too much pressure with keeping resolutions that I set for January 1st. So I need to get into the rhythm of a normal schedule after many days off from work over the holidays, and then I can focus on what I need to fix.
And boy, do I need to fix a LOT of things… 2018 was a very
difficult year for me, on many fronts. I was certainly grateful to put it
behind me, but now my 2019 is not starting off on the strong front I was hoping
for. But that does not mean that starting today it can’t.
My anxiety has been absolutely horrible, and every day is a battle to not have a panic attack. The depression is just as bad, and with the long, cold, sunless Michigan days that we have for 4 months straight, I have no desire or motivation to do anything.
I have to change my daily routine after work. I need to get
out of the house, go to the gym, somewhere outdoors when the weather allows;
anything but sit in the house. Thinking. Thinking about what I should be doing
with my life, instead of actually doing it.
Things have to change; I fear my life depends on it. It very
well might. I will get through these first couple of hurdles, and then next up
will be talking through the other big issues affecting my life.
When I spend time in my Bible, I feel calm, peaceful, safe.
It is a wonderful place to be.
Until next time…….Blessings for you and yours, make this year your best. This is going to be Day One, no more One Day.
So very proud of my 14 year old who struggles with anxiety, and having no friends 😦 Driving an hour to see her do this, just makes my heart burst! Our high school is the number 1 football team in the state (Muskegon Big Reds), again, but lets give credit where credit is due.
Late night weekly practices way past my bedtime to pick her up, broken reeds and where are my gloves….
Grateful she is having this experience. Marching band was the best thing in my four years of high school, and 3 out of my four daughters have enjoyed it; one being the Drum Major for 2 years.
As much as I complain about Michigan, and it is a lot, I am lucky to live less than 10 minutes from this beautiful lake. There are so many wonderful parks around us, and my girls and I spend a lot of time at them. The leaves are pretty much completely changed and already falling off the trees; this is not the long Autumn season I was hoping for. I am absolutely dreading Winter, especially after the triple ankle break in January and 11 weeks trapped in my house 😦 If you did not have the pleasure of seeing that horrible image, you can check out the post here: Well Doesn’t This Just Suck…
I am getting an opener put on my garage door today, and still have to buy a snowblower. I have not gotten my front steps fixed that I slipped down, but everyone knows to not use my front door.
So on a happier note, here are some sunset pictures. Up next; what has been going on with me and my 2 youngest daughters; the 14 year old the only one at home and pushing all my buttons 🙂