health

All posts tagged health

As the Easter Season Begins

Published March 6, 2019 by Angela

I am especially looking forward to this season of Easter this year. I do not know if it is the extremely brutal Winter we have had in Michigan this year (and are still having), or if I am just in desperate need of a spiritual renewal and uplifting in my life! Well, I would guess it is about 10% Winter, and 90% Spiritual uplifting.

Ash Wednesday 2019

I do not do good in Winter. It gets worse with each passing year. Last year was bad with the broken ankle and trapped-in-my-house for 11 weeks; my actual first venture out of my house where I drove somewhere was to church on Easter Sunday last year. I am grateful that I did not have that type of challenge in my life this Winter, but I have certainly brought on my own set of challenges by letting depression push me into a black hole I can sometimes bring myself out of, and sometimes make worse by just not taking good care of myself.

This season of Easter and Spring and Renewal and New Life is where I make the changes that will be permanent in my life. They have to be, in order for me to be the best self I am possibly capable of. I look forward to attending every service during this Easter season, spending time in my Bible daily, and just relaxing in the joy and knowledge that I am not on this journey by myself; I never was. The most important love of my life has never left my life, and I am grateful for Him and thank God everyday that I have Jesus in my life. Another goal is to bring others to him this season as well.

How are you looking forward to this season of Easter and all the blessings it brings?

What a Year It Has Been

Published January 17, 2019 by Angela

Yes; that sounds strange being that it is only the 3rd week into the year 2019. I am referring to what was a year ago today that I slipped down my icy front steps and broke my right ankle in 3 places; left side, back, right side, or as the surgeon said, I managed the trifecta of all possible breaks.

something seems off here……..

What followed was 11 weeks of pain, panic, anxiety, depression, and devastation. I know that sounds overly dramatic, but it was that much of a horrible experience. The rest of the year didn’t fare much better, to be honest.

I was basically bedridden for 11 weeks, leaving the house only for doctor’s appointments 3 different times, and when I was mostly healed, two trips out with my kids for fresh air, food, and a feeling of normalcy. I probably went back to work sooner than I should have, still severely limping, but I could not bear one more day in my house; my bedroom; alone while kids were at school; fighting panic attacks.

I knew this happened to me for a reason, and I was determined to learn from this. I returned to work, and life returned to what it had been before; not terrible by any means, but certainly not fantastic either. I still didn’t fully appreciate how lucky I was (still am!) to have a great job, a house to live in, food to eat, health insurance, and four wonderful daughters. I am truly Blessed with everything I have in my life, and I am focusing on appreciating this fact.

So 2019 has some old challenges, and as I conquer them, new ones will appear. I need to get healthy physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I am still focused on one-day-at-a-time, while knowing what my end goals are for the year, and further beyond.

I cannot wait for the first update on this latest journey for me!

Admitting Defeat: The First Step to Winning My Life Back!

Published September 18, 2018 by Angela

It may sound like a weakness, but for me, it seems to be the strongest thing I can ever do. I also need to be clear that this is not “giving up”! I believe admitting defeat, and giving up, are two very different things. Only by admitting defeat can I begin to heal and fix the things that are wrong in my life. When I don’t face the fact that I am defeated, I keep behaving in the same manner as I have been, which gets me absolutely no where besides back in the same spot I was the day before.

If I were giving up, I would not even be trying. I am trying. I am trying with everything I have, but I also know I cannot do this alone. God is and will continue to walk this journey with me in my life. Communicating with friends and family members brings comfort to my anxious heart, and lets them know what I am experiencing.

I have to embrace the one-day-at-a-time mentality, and it has to begin today. As I stated in an earlier blog post, I am really good at saying…”tomorrow; I’ll start tomorrow”, and how I am going to run out of tomorrows. So now it is my today. This day. My tomorrow’s now will consist of both fantastic days, and very difficult days. I know this, expect this, and embrace it. I have to. If I want to move forward, and start living the wonderful, beautiful life that God put me here for, I have to, and will, accept the bad right along with the good. I have many dreams that I want to accomplish in my life, and only by healing myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually will I accomplish this.

Maybe soon I will be brave enough to discuss my demons as well 😊

Managing Anxiety On The Inside…

Published September 7, 2018 by Angela

…and looking like I have it together on the outside. It seems to be how I have been living my life as of late. Although it works, it is certainly not ideal. While I am one to keep my business to myself (well, except for blogging about it LOL!), it can be important that others recognize I have anxiety. How do I know if they are wondering why I am being exceptionally quiet, or seem especially stressed out? I have had people ask me if I am doing okay when I am being very quiet. So they see it. Everyone sees it.

It is not that I am hiding it, or embarrassed, or ashamed; I just have always been a very private person. Talking helps. I know it helps immediately alleviate the anxiety for me, because when I am communicating, I don’t have time to focus on the anxiety.

Anxiety Meme

courtesy of Meme.xyz 

All four of my daughters have inherited my anxiety issues. It is a difficult thing to watch them go through, but it also makes me more determined to find good ways to manage it, so I can lead by setting a good example. I need to learn to focus on all of the things in my life I have been blessed with, and there are so very many, and stop putting all of my attention on the things that aren’t so good.

I need to manage my self-care better, and eat the right foods, and take my supplements, and get moving more! This is where I always say…I’ll start tomorrow… knowing tomorrow never gets here. I will run out of tomorrows, so it has got to be TODAY!

Easy to say, and hard to do! I absolutely take it one-day-at-a-time! Sometimes, it is an hour at a time.

What are your go-to tricks to calm your anxiety when it hits you out of the blue? Do you have something that works every single time, or is it hit-and-miss?

 

Between the Good Days and Bad Days

Published June 22, 2018 by Angela

Over the past month I have been rather successful using Weight Watchers to get my weight, and general well being, under control. My blood pressure has been an issue for about the last year, and a switch of medications seems to have helped. There were a couple weeks where it was consistently high, but eating mostly fresh fruits and vegetables and avoiding salt and processed foods has got it back under control. I have lost 11 lbs, and feel good about the 40-50 I have remaining to lose.

frazzled mom

 

I have been taking many supplements along with the numerous prescriptions I take for depression, anxiety, and high blood pressure, and they have definitely improved my mood. Yet, I will have a day that just seems to go completely to shit right from the get-go, and then my attitude sucks, my mood is down, and I struggle to stay focused on being healthy and taking care of myself. Instead of focusing on how well I have been doing, and feeling, I can only focus on why my life seems to be shit at that very moment.

It amazes me how quickly I can disregard all of the positive, and put all that energy into focusing on that one day where things just refuse to fall into place, cooperate, and just basically go my way, even if it is only a tiny bit.

Patience meme

I guess this is where I really need to work on my gratitude. Normally when I wake up every morning (after not sleeping well, which is another problem I need to address), I thank God for giving me another day to be a good person, to watch for opportunities to help others, and be grateful for all of the blessings I have in my life. My four healthy daughters, a successful career, a nice home and car, a great church family, and a few close friends. I truly am blessed with all of the things I have in my life, and definitely need to keep better stock of that.

I also get motivated to keep writing two books I started, work on some craft projects for my Etsy store, make improvements in my house and yard, but the motivation I wake up with does not seem to last me through the day. I get brilliant ideas for something to make for my store, but then I never seem to finish the projects I start.

After a trip to the medi center last night because my heart would not stop racing for a half hour, and fearing a possible interaction with a medication and something I ate, I figured better safe than sorry. Everything checked out great, even my blood pressure and heart rate, and the EKG. Then I just had to wait for the anxiety and panic to go away, and I did get “some” sleep.

Today is the day where I have got to start working on keeping my attitude-of-gratitude with me from the time I wake until the time I go to bed. Are bad things going to happen, and things are going to go wrong? Hell, yes! That is a normal occurrence in my life. What I cannot do is let it take away my gratefulness and happiness. I gotta say “Screw it! So what! Shit happens!” I cannot let it determine and control how the rest of my day will go.

This will definitely be a tough task for me to learn and master, but after that scare last night, this has to happen now. I’m getting older, not younger, and need to remind myself that the time to do the things I want to do is NOW, not tomorrow or the next day.

I am excited about having a vacation day off from work today so I can go to an estate sale! I have a couple specific things in mind that I want from the photos I saw, and I hope no one else is looking for those same items! I will definitely be there early so I can get in the door as soon as they open, and can only hope for some success today 🙂

How do you deal with things when it just starts to go downhill like an out-of-control bike with no brakes on it?

Day Two Sucked…

Published July 9, 2017 by Angela

…so let’s see how day three goes. (so far so good, as I managed to get out of bed!) Yesterday I never got out of bed, except to of course get food/water, use the facilities, and I did make brownies for my girls. Boxed brownies, and if I hadn’t wanted some myself, that probably would not have happened either.

I watched a few seasons of Cheers, played Townsmen (I LOVE that game!) on my nook, and did a whole lot of nothing else.

Today I managed to hit the gym by 7:30 am for a 1/2 hour on the elliptical, went and got some pictures of some flowers at the school nearby, showered, and ordered groceries! I would say today has been a success, especially compared to yesterday…

Truth be told, I would love to climb into bed right now and stay there, but I do have an appointment this afternoon, so I am going to upload and edit my pictures, and do some much-needed cleaning.

I hope yesterday was the worst day I am going to have as I continue getting healthy, because it really, really sucked.

And here’s hoping that your Sunday is relaxing, calm, and everything you wish it to be!

I Give Up! Tomorrow is Officially My Day One!

Published March 18, 2017 by Angela

Yes; I just threw in the towel. When it can all go wrong in one day; it will for me.

Tomorrow is a new day. And I am saying piss off to so many things in my life. Just done. So many people trying to break me; but you can’t.

No one knows what I am going through; yes, because I keep it to myself. So from here on out; positive posts. and the rest of you, go to hell. Judge me all you want, but I will still only return love.