depression

All posts tagged depression

The Power of Prayer

Published April 10, 2019 by Angela

Do you ever question that your prayers are heard? I very often find myself doing this. I truly know in my heart that Yes, God hears me when I cry out to him. But the waiting can be so difficult. Having to accept that the things I am going through are for God’s purpose, and it is up to me to figure out how to use it to not only honor God, but to help others along the way is not always, or ever, easy.

This scares me. I do not know if I am afraid of failing, or more afraid of succeeding. Either way, I know things will not change until I put myself 100% in God’s hands, and truly let him have control of my life.

Easy to say, and so very hard to do. Let go; and let God, right? But you have to be willing to wait on God to respond. It may not be what you thought, or expected, or even wanted, but he will indeed respond. In God’s time, not ours.

What is so very long for us is just a blink to our Lord. Trust that he is listening, because he is.

Prayer Quote 2 Chronicles 7 14

My anxiety is on fire this morning, I have gotten absolutely zero sleep, and now I have to go to work. I pray God halts this anxiety and that I have a good day at work, so I can come home and go to bed.

Do you feel like your prayers are not being answered? I would love to pray for you if you would allow me to. You can post your prayer needs in the comments, or email me if you want to keep it private. No one will ever be mentioned here, but I believe in the power of prayer, and me praying for others helps calm my anxiety. It is a win-win. One can never lose by praying.

You can email me at booksandopinions@gmail.com with your prayer needs, requests, or worries.

I visit a prayer website almost daily so I can pray for others. I really enjoy this website, but the only downside I see is that there is no way to tell a person what verses you may have prayed for them over, or maybe you have experienced the same type of situation, or even how God has helped you. There is just a set of praying hands you click on to let them know they have been prayed for.

If I can pray for you, please let me know! Even if you feel anxious about this, it will benefit us both 🙂

 

As the Easter Season Begins

Published March 6, 2019 by Angela

I am especially looking forward to this season of Easter this year. I do not know if it is the extremely brutal Winter we have had in Michigan this year (and are still having), or if I am just in desperate need of a spiritual renewal and uplifting in my life! Well, I would guess it is about 10% Winter, and 90% Spiritual uplifting.

Ash Wednesday 2019

I do not do good in Winter. It gets worse with each passing year. Last year was bad with the broken ankle and trapped-in-my-house for 11 weeks; my actual first venture out of my house where I drove somewhere was to church on Easter Sunday last year. I am grateful that I did not have that type of challenge in my life this Winter, but I have certainly brought on my own set of challenges by letting depression push me into a black hole I can sometimes bring myself out of, and sometimes make worse by just not taking good care of myself.

This season of Easter and Spring and Renewal and New Life is where I make the changes that will be permanent in my life. They have to be, in order for me to be the best self I am possibly capable of. I look forward to attending every service during this Easter season, spending time in my Bible daily, and just relaxing in the joy and knowledge that I am not on this journey by myself; I never was. The most important love of my life has never left my life, and I am grateful for Him and thank God everyday that I have Jesus in my life. Another goal is to bring others to him this season as well.

How are you looking forward to this season of Easter and all the blessings it brings?

What a Year It Has Been

Published January 17, 2019 by Angela

Yes; that sounds strange being that it is only the 3rd week into the year 2019. I am referring to what was a year ago today that I slipped down my icy front steps and broke my right ankle in 3 places; left side, back, right side, or as the surgeon said, I managed the trifecta of all possible breaks.

something seems off here……..

What followed was 11 weeks of pain, panic, anxiety, depression, and devastation. I know that sounds overly dramatic, but it was that much of a horrible experience. The rest of the year didn’t fare much better, to be honest.

I was basically bedridden for 11 weeks, leaving the house only for doctor’s appointments 3 different times, and when I was mostly healed, two trips out with my kids for fresh air, food, and a feeling of normalcy. I probably went back to work sooner than I should have, still severely limping, but I could not bear one more day in my house; my bedroom; alone while kids were at school; fighting panic attacks.

I knew this happened to me for a reason, and I was determined to learn from this. I returned to work, and life returned to what it had been before; not terrible by any means, but certainly not fantastic either. I still didn’t fully appreciate how lucky I was (still am!) to have a great job, a house to live in, food to eat, health insurance, and four wonderful daughters. I am truly Blessed with everything I have in my life, and I am focusing on appreciating this fact.

So 2019 has some old challenges, and as I conquer them, new ones will appear. I need to get healthy physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I am still focused on one-day-at-a-time, while knowing what my end goals are for the year, and further beyond.

I cannot wait for the first update on this latest journey for me!

Turning One Day into Day One…

Published January 11, 2019 by Angela

…sounds pretty simple, yes? Apparently not for me. I am the Queen of excuses, the Ruler of Starting Tomorrows, and the Mother of Procrastination. I have an excuse for everything, most times two. There is always a good reason to start tomorrow. And we all know tomorrow never comes.

But today is here, and I am blessed and grateful to have it. It is a gift; and it is a gift I will not waste. I will do something positive for someone else today. I will do something positive for me. I will thank God throughout the day for giving me this day.

Focusing on the positives I have in my life, and I have so very many, may be just what I need to keep the anxiety and panic attacks at bay. That means I have to choose to not get angry about things outside of my control, or get frustrated with the people around me. That means choosing to be a better me. Which is completely in my control. I choose to be happy today. I choose to be grateful today. I choose to live this day to the fullest. Do you have goals for your day? May it be full of your greatest blessings!

Resolutions for the New Year

Published January 10, 2019 by Angela

Yes, I am a bit late with my resolutions, but I also find too much pressure with keeping resolutions that I set for January 1st. So I need to get into the rhythm of a normal schedule after many days off from work over the holidays, and then I can focus on what I need to fix.


@booksandopinions, llc

And boy, do I need to fix a LOT of things… 2018 was a very difficult year for me, on many fronts. I was certainly grateful to put it behind me, but now my 2019 is not starting off on the strong front I was hoping for. But that does not mean that starting today it can’t.

My anxiety has been absolutely horrible, and every day is a battle to not have a panic attack. The depression is just as bad, and with the long, cold, sunless Michigan days that we have for 4 months straight, I have no desire or motivation to do anything.

@booksandopinions, llc

I have to change my daily routine after work. I need to get out of the house, go to the gym, somewhere outdoors when the weather allows; anything but sit in the house. Thinking. Thinking about what I should be doing with my life, instead of actually doing it.

Things have to change; I fear my life depends on it. It very well might. I will get through these first couple of hurdles, and then next up will be talking through the other big issues affecting my life.

When I spend time in my Bible, I feel calm, peaceful, safe. It is a wonderful place to be.

Until next time…….Blessings for you and yours, make this year your best. This is going to be Day One, no more One Day.


@booksandopinions, llc

Why I do All of This Back-And-Forth to High School

Published October 28, 2018 by Angela

So very proud of my 14 year old who struggles with anxiety, and having no friends 😦 Driving an hour to see her do this, just makes my heart burst! Our high school is the number 1 football team in the state (Muskegon Big Reds), again, but lets give credit where credit is due.

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Late night weekly practices way past my bedtime to pick her up, broken reeds and where are my gloves….

Grateful she is having this experience. Marching band was the best thing in my four years of high school, and 3 out of my four daughters have enjoyed it; one being the Drum Major for 2 years.

Admitting Defeat: The First Step to Winning My Life Back!

Published September 18, 2018 by Angela

It may sound like a weakness, but for me, it seems to be the strongest thing I can ever do. I also need to be clear that this is not “giving up”! I believe admitting defeat, and giving up, are two very different things. Only by admitting defeat can I begin to heal and fix the things that are wrong in my life. When I don’t face the fact that I am defeated, I keep behaving in the same manner as I have been, which gets me absolutely no where besides back in the same spot I was the day before.

If I were giving up, I would not even be trying. I am trying. I am trying with everything I have, but I also know I cannot do this alone. God is and will continue to walk this journey with me in my life. Communicating with friends and family members brings comfort to my anxious heart, and lets them know what I am experiencing.

I have to embrace the one-day-at-a-time mentality, and it has to begin today. As I stated in an earlier blog post, I am really good at saying…”tomorrow; I’ll start tomorrow”, and how I am going to run out of tomorrows. So now it is my today. This day. My tomorrow’s now will consist of both fantastic days, and very difficult days. I know this, expect this, and embrace it. I have to. If I want to move forward, and start living the wonderful, beautiful life that God put me here for, I have to, and will, accept the bad right along with the good. I have many dreams that I want to accomplish in my life, and only by healing myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually will I accomplish this.

Maybe soon I will be brave enough to discuss my demons as well 😊

Managing Anxiety On The Inside…

Published September 7, 2018 by Angela

…and looking like I have it together on the outside. It seems to be how I have been living my life as of late. Although it works, it is certainly not ideal. While I am one to keep my business to myself (well, except for blogging about it LOL!), it can be important that others recognize I have anxiety. How do I know if they are wondering why I am being exceptionally quiet, or seem especially stressed out? I have had people ask me if I am doing okay when I am being very quiet. So they see it. Everyone sees it.

It is not that I am hiding it, or embarrassed, or ashamed; I just have always been a very private person. Talking helps. I know it helps immediately alleviate the anxiety for me, because when I am communicating, I don’t have time to focus on the anxiety.

Anxiety Meme

courtesy of Meme.xyz 

All four of my daughters have inherited my anxiety issues. It is a difficult thing to watch them go through, but it also makes me more determined to find good ways to manage it, so I can lead by setting a good example. I need to learn to focus on all of the things in my life I have been blessed with, and there are so very many, and stop putting all of my attention on the things that aren’t so good.

I need to manage my self-care better, and eat the right foods, and take my supplements, and get moving more! This is where I always say…I’ll start tomorrow… knowing tomorrow never gets here. I will run out of tomorrows, so it has got to be TODAY!

Easy to say, and hard to do! I absolutely take it one-day-at-a-time! Sometimes, it is an hour at a time.

What are your go-to tricks to calm your anxiety when it hits you out of the blue? Do you have something that works every single time, or is it hit-and-miss?

 

As The School Year Begins…

Published September 6, 2018 by Angela

…I have been working through the things I need to do for myself, and my girls, to make this new start of the year go smoothly, and in the best possible fashion for my new Freshman. I have always viewed the beginning of the school year as a start of a “new year” for myself as well. It is a time to get new schedules put in place, new goals to work on, and I get to enjoy the most beautiful time of the year, Autumn in Michigan, and High School Football. My girls going to the school with the most winning football team in Michigan history makes the football games unbelievably exciting! Always having one of my girls in the Marching Band is a wonderful bonus as well!

My 17 year old is now also back with me for the majority of the time, which I am over the Moon about, but it definitely throws another dynamic in the picture. She is out of school, so I need to make sure she stays on a schedule herself, which can certainly be a struggle with her 😊 We are working on what is next for her, and what opportunities are available, and what she may need to work on to achieve her goals.

Positive-Quotes-16

Now I get to figure out how to get and keep myself on track. I honestly feel like for the last month or so I have been completely off the rails. Not in a destructive way, per se, but I certainly am not eating as healthy as I had been for the previous couple of months, and I feel like I have too many pans in the fire, and I need to get something in place to manage everything. It is certainly possible with good organization and determination on my part. When I have those days though, where I don’t want to get out of bed, I have no motivation, or my anxiety has come to roost, it is hard to get anything done, or even think about anything.

I can wake up feeling fantastic and motivated to conquer the world, but it quickly disappears. Once I start working on a project, even if it is cleaning the house or doing dishes, I feel fantastic once I start and then get it finished. It is just so hard sometimes to even get started. This is where I definitely need to just push myself to get up and do something!

How to you handle the new school year if you have kids in school? Do you find it exciting, or frustrating?