As much as I complain about Michigan, and it is a lot, I am lucky to live less than 10 minutes from this beautiful lake. There are so many wonderful parks around us, and my girls and I spend a lot of time at them. The leaves are pretty much completely changed and already falling off the trees; this is not the long Autumn season I was hoping for. I am absolutely dreading Winter, especially after the triple ankle break in January and 11 weeks trapped in my house 😦 If you did not have the pleasure of seeing that horrible image, you can check out the post here: Well Doesn’t This Just Suck…
I am getting an opener put on my garage door today, and still have to buy a snowblower. I have not gotten my front steps fixed that I slipped down, but everyone knows to not use my front door.
So on a happier note, here are some sunset pictures. Up next; what has been going on with me and my 2 youngest daughters; the 14 year old the only one at home and pushing all my buttons 🙂
It may sound like a weakness, but for me, it seems to be the strongest thing I can ever do. I also need to be clear that this is not “giving up”! I believe admitting defeat, and giving up, are two very different things. Only by admitting defeat can I begin to heal and fix the things that are wrong in my life. When I don’t face the fact that I am defeated, I keep behaving in the same manner as I have been, which gets me absolutely no where besides back in the same spot I was the day before.
If I were giving up, I would not even be trying. I am trying. I am trying with everything I have, but I also know I cannot do this alone. God is and will continue to walk this journey with me in my life. Communicating with friends and family members brings comfort to my anxious heart, and lets them know what I am experiencing.
I have to embrace the one-day-at-a-time mentality, and it has to begin today. As I stated in an earlier blog post, I am really good at saying…”tomorrow; I’ll start tomorrow”, and how I am going to run out of tomorrows. So now it is my today. This day. My tomorrow’s now will consist of both fantastic days, and very difficult days. I know this, expect this, and embrace it. I have to. If I want to move forward, and start living the wonderful, beautiful life that God put me here for, I have to, and will, accept the bad right along with the good. I have many dreams that I want to accomplish in my life, and only by healing myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually will I accomplish this.
Maybe soon I will be brave enough to discuss my demons as well 😊
Since last night I have been fighting panic attacks. Hopefully after a talk with a 24-hour nurse, who assured me I could take my medication for anxiety since I have not taken a pain pill in 13 hours for my broken ankle, I did exactly that, and I should be feeling some relief soon. I will deal with the pain and not take the pain meds again; I cannot deal with the panic. Fingers crossed that this is enough to help me cope and get back to feeling normal again. Well, as normal as possible being on bed rest, still, with a broken ankle.