christian

All posts tagged christian

What a Year It Has Been

Published January 17, 2019 by Angela

Yes; that sounds strange being that it is only the 3rd week into the year 2019. I am referring to what was a year ago today that I slipped down my icy front steps and broke my right ankle in 3 places; left side, back, right side, or as the surgeon said, I managed the trifecta of all possible breaks.

something seems off here……..

What followed was 11 weeks of pain, panic, anxiety, depression, and devastation. I know that sounds overly dramatic, but it was that much of a horrible experience. The rest of the year didn’t fare much better, to be honest.

I was basically bedridden for 11 weeks, leaving the house only for doctor’s appointments 3 different times, and when I was mostly healed, two trips out with my kids for fresh air, food, and a feeling of normalcy. I probably went back to work sooner than I should have, still severely limping, but I could not bear one more day in my house; my bedroom; alone while kids were at school; fighting panic attacks.

I knew this happened to me for a reason, and I was determined to learn from this. I returned to work, and life returned to what it had been before; not terrible by any means, but certainly not fantastic either. I still didn’t fully appreciate how lucky I was (still am!) to have a great job, a house to live in, food to eat, health insurance, and four wonderful daughters. I am truly Blessed with everything I have in my life, and I am focusing on appreciating this fact.

So 2019 has some old challenges, and as I conquer them, new ones will appear. I need to get healthy physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I am still focused on one-day-at-a-time, while knowing what my end goals are for the year, and further beyond.

I cannot wait for the first update on this latest journey for me!

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Turning One Day into Day One…

Published January 11, 2019 by Angela

…sounds pretty simple, yes? Apparently not for me. I am the Queen of excuses, the Ruler of Starting Tomorrows, and the Mother of Procrastination. I have an excuse for everything, most times two. There is always a good reason to start tomorrow. And we all know tomorrow never comes.

But today is here, and I am blessed and grateful to have it. It is a gift; and it is a gift I will not waste. I will do something positive for someone else today. I will do something positive for me. I will thank God throughout the day for giving me this day.

Focusing on the positives I have in my life, and I have so very many, may be just what I need to keep the anxiety and panic attacks at bay. That means I have to choose to not get angry about things outside of my control, or get frustrated with the people around me. That means choosing to be a better me. Which is completely in my control. I choose to be happy today. I choose to be grateful today. I choose to live this day to the fullest. Do you have goals for your day? May it be full of your greatest blessings!

Admitting Defeat: The First Step to Winning My Life Back!

Published September 18, 2018 by Angela

It may sound like a weakness, but for me, it seems to be the strongest thing I can ever do. I also need to be clear that this is not “giving up”! I believe admitting defeat, and giving up, are two very different things. Only by admitting defeat can I begin to heal and fix the things that are wrong in my life. When I don’t face the fact that I am defeated, I keep behaving in the same manner as I have been, which gets me absolutely no where besides back in the same spot I was the day before.

If I were giving up, I would not even be trying. I am trying. I am trying with everything I have, but I also know I cannot do this alone. God is and will continue to walk this journey with me in my life. Communicating with friends and family members brings comfort to my anxious heart, and lets them know what I am experiencing.

I have to embrace the one-day-at-a-time mentality, and it has to begin today. As I stated in an earlier blog post, I am really good at saying…”tomorrow; I’ll start tomorrow”, and how I am going to run out of tomorrows. So now it is my today. This day. My tomorrow’s now will consist of both fantastic days, and very difficult days. I know this, expect this, and embrace it. I have to. If I want to move forward, and start living the wonderful, beautiful life that God put me here for, I have to, and will, accept the bad right along with the good. I have many dreams that I want to accomplish in my life, and only by healing myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually will I accomplish this.

Maybe soon I will be brave enough to discuss my demons as well 😊

Today I Choose to Just Be Grateful!

Published March 16, 2017 by Angela

I did not sleep very well last night, and woke up with a very sore back. But my cat alerted me to the 4 deer in our front yard, and it was a wonderful site to see at such an early hour. I am grateful I was awake for it.

I have been grumbling for 5 days about a flooded basement in my new home. It is time to realize my good fortune, and be grateful that I had the ability as a single parent to buy this house for my family.

I wake up most mornings wishing I could sleep a little longer, and not have to go to work. But I will always be grateful for the wonderful job I have had for over 20 years, that has done so much for me, and provided for my family. Many are struggling to find full time employment that will support themselves and their families.

I’ve been spending months complaining about the 50 lbs of weight I have managed to gain over the last two years; yet I make no conscious effort to change that. I have a rowing machine being delivered tomorrow, and am grateful that I am able to exercise and get myself feeling better, and healthier.

I am grateful to have the choice to choose healthy food for myself and my family, when so many have little to no food at all. My cure all for everything that ails me? Honey with the comb, which fits great in these tiny Ball jars to take to work!

Honey in Comb

I am grateful for so many things every single day; but it is not often enough that I take inventory of those things.

What are you grateful for today?

So About Day Two of This Journey of Mine…

Published March 14, 2017 by Angela

…which was yesterday…. YIKES… good grief I have got to be stronger, more patient, slow down, open my ears, and close my mouth. I am not trying to feel discouraged that day 2 was a total bust, and that I should just go back to Day 1. Lesson(s) learned.

You Know You're Stressed 3-14-17

So my Day 3 is going better, and I am hoping for a quiet, uneventful night at home after I get out of work. This should be fairly simple to accomplish, as I intend on getting dinner on the way home from work, and doing absolutely nothing else besides reading or crosswords.

From my morning reading of “Hands Free Life”, by Rachel Macy Stafford:

“The next time you yearn to fill the spaces of your life and be all there, try using the visual image of physically removing the heavy clock from around your neck. Feel the weight being lifted off your chest as you give yourself permission to be in one place and one place only. Remind yourself these are the spaces where real living occurs and you have every right to devote time and attention to the most important spaces of life” (Stafford, 2015, pg. 42).

I know I have a very difficult time relaxing, especially when I see things around me that need to be done. I feel guilty when I am doing “nothing”, and I need to start seeing my down-time as when I can relax, recharge, and get myself balanced. It is okay to not get everything done at once.

I am sure I will be telling myself this every day for a very, very long time until I master this one task that seems so easy, yet is so very hard for me.