raising teenagers

All posts in the raising teenagers category

Today I Choose to Just Be Grateful!

Published March 16, 2017 by Angela

I did not sleep very well last night, and woke up with a very sore back. But my cat alerted me to the 4 deer in our front yard, and it was a wonderful site to see at such an early hour. I am grateful I was awake for it.

I have been grumbling for 5 days about a flooded basement in my new home. It is time to realize my good fortune, and be grateful that I had the ability as a single parent to buy this house for my family.

I wake up most mornings wishing I could sleep a little longer, and not have to go to work. But I will always be grateful for the wonderful job I have had for over 20 years, that has done so much for me, and provided for my family. Many are struggling to find full time employment that will support themselves and their families.

I’ve been spending months complaining about the 50 lbs of weight I have managed to gain over the last two years; yet I make no conscious effort to change that. I have a rowing machine being delivered tomorrow, and am grateful that I am able to exercise and get myself feeling better, and healthier.

I am grateful to have the choice to choose healthy food for myself and my family, when so many have little to no food at all. My cure all for everything that ails me? Honey with the comb, which fits great in these tiny Ball jars to take to work!

Honey in Comb

I am grateful for so many things every single day; but it is not often enough that I take inventory of those things.

What are you grateful for today?

Day One of a New Journey

Published March 12, 2017 by Angela

I have been dealing with some personal issues of a magnitude that even those closest to me are not aware of. While it is not my intention to disclose these issues even now; it is my intention to finally fully own them, face them, and conquer them. 

My journey of raising daughters may be half over, but they will always be my daughters, no matter their stage in life. I also need to make sure I stop losing myself in the chaos and busyness of my life. I really do need to stop and smell the roses. Not occasionally when I make time; but to always make time to do just that. 

As I am in the back seat of my vehicle with 3 of my girls, going to spend the day with the fourth, I am reading a book that I think will truly help me on this journey. It is called “Hands Free Life” by Rachel Macy Stafford, and looks like the perfect book to start this new chapter of my life with; pun intended 😉

How Bad Should You Make Your Child’s Reality?

Published April 26, 2016 by Angela

I should clarify.

I am talking about my 18 year old daughter who will graduate high school in a month, wants to take a year off before she goes to college, got fired from her job, and is going to move in with her boyfriend of 6 months.

Stressed Mom 1

Now you get the picture.

I have a running bill of over $500.00 that she owes me for her cell phone and monthly cell phone bills. And I made it crystal clear that she is not moving anywhere until she has a full time job, because once she goes, I will not help her.

I will NOT help her. Bad Mom? Whatever. I still have a 14 and 11 year old daughter here that I am raising alone, so if she wants to be a grown up, she can be a grown up.

The way I see it, is if you are not going to college, you have 16 hours a day available to work in order to financially support yourself.

Stressed Mom 2

Ramen noodles? You better get a taste for them. Planet Fitness? Yeah; I ain’t paying that.

It is so tough watching them spread their wings to fly when you can see the crash and burn coming right around the corner.

Parenthood is way over-rated. I was never meant to be a Mom, and should have never been a Mom. But that is a whole different post I will share with you soon enough.

How do you tough-love your kids when they refuse to listen to logic and reason?

You Really Can’t Fix Stupid…

Published March 24, 2016 by Angela

…I mean; I keep trying, but Stupid just does not get it. So I am done wasting my energy, and it is time to let the courts decide how stupid Stupid really is.

Men are stupid 1

Is this a man-bashing? Absolutely not. Both of my brothers got custody of their daughters when they got divorced. But the writing is on the wall, and Stupid decides to not see it.

My 18 year old stopped spending weekends with him over a year ago, because of his girlfriend. He is 38, she was 19.

About 2 months ago, my 14 year old refused to go with him as well, because of said girlfriend. And he told me, “I will never put anyone before my girls”. But he did.

And now this “man” who cannot support his children emotionally (I don’t need his financial support, and he doesn’t pay it, so don’t even start!), is having another child with this girl who my children cannot tolerate.

Does he have a right to his decisions? Absolutely. Do you agree with him putting his needs before his 3 daughters? hmmm

I am praying that my youngest will just stop wanting to go. I will never put the idea in her head, or encourage it, but I am praying for it.

It is a toxic environment where I had to find out from my oldest daughter that this young girlfriend was finding random people to come home and have sex with both of them.

Yes, the lawyer has already been contacted, as well as my local “friend-of-the-court”, but boy aren’t they slow?

Men are stupid 2

So yeah, don’t listen to me, don’t assume I have OUR children’s best interest in mind…but I will make you sit in front of a judge and explain yourself. Because I have the best lawyer in my town on retainer, and since you owe me $10,000.00 + in back child support, I am just gonna assume you don’t have any.

Well Now I Have Seen It All!

Published November 14, 2014 by Angela

My children are watching videos of people playing video games.

Funny video games quote

People playing video games!

Oh my goodness. If it wasn’t snowing and 20 degrees out, I would chuck them all out the front door and make them go to the park.

Yes, I know they could be reading books, doing crafts, etc. etc.

Honestly, I have been having a week. And they are being quiet. And I need quiet. So they can watch videos of people playing video games.

So tomorrow I will put a stop to what has to be the laziest thing possible to ever do; watch others play video games.

Honestly, I still can’t believe it…people recording themselves playing their video games, and others watching it. I would rather they played the games themselves. At least they would be doing something.

Always Receiving, Never Giving…

Published November 10, 2014 by Angela

…has me very baffled at where my children have gotten their sense of entitlement from.

They always want something, but do not understand the concept of working for anything. I am really, honestly trying to determine if I have somehow created this problem myself (I feel I have, to a point) and how to fix it.

For the past week, I have been bombarded with “I need”, “I want”, and “Can you do this for me…”. I have not once heard “Let me help”, “Can I help?”, or “What can I do?”. I have been angry at the world and everyone around me because of this. It has not been a good week to be in my head, with the slightest thing setting me off to an entire day of not-in-a-good-mood-leave-me-alone-and-stop-talking-to-me attitude. Yes, my attitude has been that big.

My girls have watched me struggle to make ends meet, work 70 hour weeks to pay the bills, run on no sleep because they have so many things going on, and no personal time for myself. I find it beyond upsetting that they are completely okay with this.

We had a great experience at our church this Saturday when we packaged over 10,000 meals for a local food shelter, emergency reserves, and a 3rd world country where food is scarce. Being told that in the first hour we were there 600 children aged 5 and under had died from hunger was like a punch in the stomach for me. Hunger upsets me and breaks my heart more than any other plight I can think of. Worse than those sad-abused animal commercials, and I love animals! I always buy extra groceries during the holiday season to donate, and every week I buy extra health care products to donate a couple times a year to a local woman’s shelter.

So how can anyone who has been raised by me, live in the same home as me, and know what my values are, just ask for things they do not need, deserve, and certainly haven’t earned?

I have a feeling I am going to have 3 young ladies in my house that are going to get a reality check like no other reality check, and our Christmas is going to be a little bit different this year. Instead of me shopping for them, I think it is time we go shopping together and use some of the money that would have been spent on them on others who have a true need.

This coming Friday, November 14th, I am taking them to see Kirk Cameron’s “Saving Christmas“, and I hope this is the wake-up call that they so desperately need right now. If you have not heard about his latest project, be sure to check it out here: http://www.savingchristmas.com/

The Things That Used To Frustrate Me The Most…

Published November 3, 2014 by Angela

…now bring a smile to my face  🙂 Yes, just like that, but bigger.

Case-in-point:

I announced in the living room on Thursday, while all of my girls were in there and I had their attention; that their clothes hamper was starting to overflow (it is located in the hall outside of our 3 bedroom doors) and someone should probably think about starting laundry before they run out of something they need.

I told them the same thing Friday, and I also told them Saturday.  They were looking at me, so I knew they heard me; they just didn’t care at the time.

Fast-Forward to Monday morning, 6:05am, I am about to head out the door to work, and 16 year old is getting in the shower.

“Ugh. Why are there no bath towels in the closet?”

Me: “Probably because none of you girls took it upon yourselves to do the laundry after I had warned you 3 times.” And I left for work.

I have no idea what she used to dry herself off with, but I am about 98% sure that there will be laundry getting done tonight. I wash all of my clothes by themselves (i.e. not with my kids laundry) and I do 1 or 2 loads of laundry every Sunday. I have clothes and bath towels for the week, and whether or not they do is not my issue.

See, I used to feel responsible for making sure they had clean clothes, but all that happened was that I was always doing their chores and they were not learning any responsibility. So a few days of no bath towels or clean bras usually gets them back on task.

Honestly, if you can drive a car, kiss a boy, or swear at your sisters, you can start the washer and dryer.

Being The Bigger Person…

Published November 2, 2014 by Angela

…for the sake of my girls. We were all surprised when their Father and his girlfriend showed up at our home today. My 16 year old had her final marching band highlights concert tonight and she is one of the drum majors. They came up to surprise her and attend this half-time highlights concert.

My beautiful 16 year old daughter and Drum Major for the marching band. I could not be more proud or blessed!

My beautiful 16 year old daughter and Drum Major for the marching band. I could not be more proud or blessed!

So they took the 3 girls out to eat, and then went to the concert. My boyfriend and I sat next to them and we all had a good time. They were unsure if they would be staying at a hotel for the night or not, and would let me know. My boyfriend dropped me off at home, I turned on the radio, and finished cleaning the house, which is so much easier to do when there are no kids here!

So the next message I get is from his girlfriend wanting to ask me a question…if they cannot find a hotel to stay in could they possibly stay on the floor for the night so they can spend time with the girls.

I said yes, I did not have a problem with that. My girls would be heartbroken to not spend as much time with him as possible. In the end he decided he was not comfortable with it, but they did want to hang out with them for a while. So while I was in the kitchen doing my homework and editing some photos and book reviews, they were playing the WII and enjoying themselves.

I was not pleased when the girlfriend finally got me alone and asked if they could take my 13 year old, Erin, for 2 weeks and then bring her back. She is my homeschooler, and thinks she would do better living with her father. I said absolutely not, she was not at a point where this type of adjustment, even for 2 weeks, would do her any good.

I wasn’t surprised either…

So I did my good Mommy deed for the day, week, month, year, whatever 🙂 I honestly did not mind, and was very happy my girls got to spend some time with their dad and his girlfriend.

When You Are Always Wrong…

Published October 17, 2014 by Angela

…no matter what you say or do. This is what my girls and I have been going through for the last couple of weeks. I am not quite sure what is happening or why, but things have become very tense in our home, between the girls, and between the girls and I. Yes; some of it is hormones. When you have 4 daughters, you have hormones. But I cannot blame hormones for all of this.

I am willing to take some of the blame. I have managed to get myself involved in a lot of different things that have made my schedule especially chaotic. I have less than 3 weeks left for my college class for my MBA, and then I do not have any more classes for the rest of this year. This is a great relief for me, and I am hoping I can actually enjoy the holiday season this year as much as I did last year. I have been short-tempered with my girls when they cannot do the most basic of chores or even pick up after themselves.

Are you really incapable of taking that glass you drank your milk from back into the kitchen and in the sink, since you are walking out there anyways to bring some other food or drink item into the living room? Every day when I get home, and every morning when I get up for the day, there are various dirty dishes all over the coffee table, end tables, sitting on the floor next to the couch, rocking chair, or anywhere else they feel the need to leave their stuff.

We will not even begin discussing having 4 ladies using one bathroom! I could do a show; “Big Hormones, Little Home.”

What I definitely know because I am always wrong; is that it means I am the Mom. And that I am doing something right. Because if my teens and preteen agreed with me, I would be acting like their friend, and not their Mother. So I will take this any day over the alternative!