selfish

All posts tagged selfish

Always Receiving, Never Giving…

Published November 10, 2014 by Angela

…has me very baffled at where my children have gotten their sense of entitlement from.

They always want something, but do not understand the concept of working for anything. I am really, honestly trying to determine if I have somehow created this problem myself (I feel I have, to a point) and how to fix it.

For the past week, I have been bombarded with “I need”, “I want”, and “Can you do this for me…”. I have not once heard “Let me help”, “Can I help?”, or “What can I do?”. I have been angry at the world and everyone around me because of this. It has not been a good week to be in my head, with the slightest thing setting me off to an entire day of not-in-a-good-mood-leave-me-alone-and-stop-talking-to-me attitude. Yes, my attitude has been that big.

My girls have watched me struggle to make ends meet, work 70 hour weeks to pay the bills, run on no sleep because they have so many things going on, and no personal time for myself. I find it beyond upsetting that they are completely okay with this.

We had a great experience at our church this Saturday when we packaged over 10,000 meals for a local food shelter, emergency reserves, and a 3rd world country where food is scarce. Being told that in the first hour we were there 600 children aged 5 and under had died from hunger was like a punch in the stomach for me. Hunger upsets me and breaks my heart more than any other plight I can think of. Worse than those sad-abused animal commercials, and I love animals! I always buy extra groceries during the holiday season to donate, and every week I buy extra health care products to donate a couple times a year to a local woman’s shelter.

So how can anyone who has been raised by me, live in the same home as me, and know what my values are, just ask for things they do not need, deserve, and certainly haven’t earned?

I have a feeling I am going to have 3 young ladies in my house that are going to get a reality check like no other reality check, and our Christmas is going to be a little bit different this year. Instead of me shopping for them, I think it is time we go shopping together and use some of the money that would have been spent on them on others who have a true need.

This coming Friday, November 14th, I am taking them to see Kirk Cameron’s “Saving Christmas“, and I hope this is the wake-up call that they so desperately need right now. If you have not heard about his latest project, be sure to check it out here: http://www.savingchristmas.com/

Some Days I Don’t Know Why I Even Bother…

Published October 14, 2014 by Angela

…doing anything for anyone in this house. Anyone other than myself and my awesome nekkid kitty cat. Because sometimes it is really never appreciated. Actually, it is never appreciated. No, I am not exaggerating. I sure wish I was. But I’m not. I had to take a day off from work to get my homeschooler caught up with her assignments that she has fallen behind on. And while I am reviewing her things on my laptop, she is on their laptop playing games and shopping for clothes.

And this is all happening after I get hit with the fact that she wants to go live with her dad. Her dad who does not call her. Even on her birthday. Her dad that has not seen her since January 2nd. Her dad that is 36 years old and never graduated high school. But hey, him and his 19 year old girlfriend who never graduated either; yeah, they can help her with her algebra. And literature. History? No problem.

I’ll discuss in a later blog how I ended up married to such a worthless bag of skin and oxygen waster.

He has no home. Or vehicle. Or secure job. But yeah, send her there and he will take care of it all. And my 16 year old thinks it is a good idea as well. So I am getting ganged up on by everyone, because after 10 months, he decides he needs to talk about this today as well.

So what I am thinking, since no one cares what the hell I go through to take care of them with NO help from that POS, EVER, that maybe he should take all 3 of them. And I will pay him child support, and marry my boyfriend of 8 years, and start living my life for myself. Because after 22 years of being a Mom, right now, I do not want to do it any more. Not when I get treated like garbage. And used as a taxi, cook, maid, and nurse.

I think it might be time to start living my life for me. They are pretty sure they don’t need my help, so maybe I should just let them see how wrong they are. Because what do I know anyways? I know my 16 year old certainly does not want to live with him, so the fact that she is willing to send her sister there….makes me think she needs to go as well. I think it’s time to start downsizing. If it’s good enough for Erin, well Kendall should certainly be more than willing to go. I mean it is a great place to raise teenage girls, right? Riiiiggghhht.

Maybe tomorrow I will feel different, today I am so hurt and physically sick over this that I cannot see straight.