discipline

All posts tagged discipline

Well Now I Have Seen It All!

Published November 14, 2014 by Angela

My children are watching videos of people playing video games.

Funny video games quote

People playing video games!

Oh my goodness. If it wasn’t snowing and 20 degrees out, I would chuck them all out the front door and make them go to the park.

Yes, I know they could be reading books, doing crafts, etc. etc.

Honestly, I have been having a week. And they are being quiet. And I need quiet. So they can watch videos of people playing video games.

So tomorrow I will put a stop to what has to be the laziest thing possible to ever do; watch others play video games.

Honestly, I still can’t believe it…people recording themselves playing their video games, and others watching it. I would rather they played the games themselves. At least they would be doing something.

The Things That Used To Frustrate Me The Most…

Published November 3, 2014 by Angela

…now bring a smile to my face  🙂 Yes, just like that, but bigger.

Case-in-point:

I announced in the living room on Thursday, while all of my girls were in there and I had their attention; that their clothes hamper was starting to overflow (it is located in the hall outside of our 3 bedroom doors) and someone should probably think about starting laundry before they run out of something they need.

I told them the same thing Friday, and I also told them Saturday.  They were looking at me, so I knew they heard me; they just didn’t care at the time.

Fast-Forward to Monday morning, 6:05am, I am about to head out the door to work, and 16 year old is getting in the shower.

“Ugh. Why are there no bath towels in the closet?”

Me: “Probably because none of you girls took it upon yourselves to do the laundry after I had warned you 3 times.” And I left for work.

I have no idea what she used to dry herself off with, but I am about 98% sure that there will be laundry getting done tonight. I wash all of my clothes by themselves (i.e. not with my kids laundry) and I do 1 or 2 loads of laundry every Sunday. I have clothes and bath towels for the week, and whether or not they do is not my issue.

See, I used to feel responsible for making sure they had clean clothes, but all that happened was that I was always doing their chores and they were not learning any responsibility. So a few days of no bath towels or clean bras usually gets them back on task.

Honestly, if you can drive a car, kiss a boy, or swear at your sisters, you can start the washer and dryer.

I Cannot Believe That Did Not Work…

Published October 19, 2014 by Angela

…now I need to find some other thing as leverage to get my 13 year old to do what she is supposed to.

See, it is Sunday. On Sunday’s, Erin has her confirmation classes at our church from 9:30am-10:30am. Last night she said she wanted up at 7:30am to get in the shower. At 7:30am, she said she didn’t feel good. She never feels good. This has gotten her homeschooled, and out of so many things it is ridiculous. I would admire her determination and ability to outsmart me, except it is me that she is outsmarting.

Just make her get up and go, you say? I would be leaving church right now if that were in any way possible. You cannot force a 13 year old who is taller than you, and weighs more than you, to get dressed, and get in a car. 3 years ago, my next oldest daughter and myself managed to get her into the car to drive her to school. This was after a State Police Officer that I called came over to find out why she would not go to school. He spent 45 minutes telling her the importance of going to school, how she was going to get me in trouble, etc. etc. He said she needs a good ass beating, and as long as you do not leave any marks, you are not acting beyond your boundaries. No, I did not beat her behind, even though she needed it. We got her to the school. She got out of the car in the parking lot, and proceeded to run home. So no, I am not able to just make her go.

What did I threaten her with this morning? No laptop. No getting on the internet and playing any games, or talking to her friends, or watching music videos. It used to always work before. So yes, I have to find out what is the latest “most-important-thing-to-Erin” so I can use it as leverage when she wants to start pulling these stunts again.

On that note, since I was up so early, I got some amazing pictures of the Autumn weather here in West Michigan, and these flowers were my favorite.

Frosted Flowers October 19, 2014

Frosted Flowers October 19, 2014

Hoping your Sunday is a beautiful one, full of Blessings and Happiness!

Things The Neighbor Kids Say, Part 3

Published October 3, 2014 by Angela

My 10-year old daughter’s friend came over, asking if she could come outside to play basketball. Here is what the conversation consisted of:

My 10-year-old: “I thought you were going with your dad?”

10-year-old neighbor: “He said he’s sick. So we can’t go.” (her and her older brother)

My 10yo: “Oh, okay. Are you going to go later?”

10yo neighbor: “No. Because he was supposed to get us two weeks ago, but forgot. And the time before that he couldn’t get us because he had no food. And now he says he’s sick. And that he had us 2 weeks ago. But he didn’t cause we have been at Grandma’s during every weekend for the past month. And Grandma said we are never going over there again. So the only time I will ever see my dad again is if I see him at the store.”

I do not find this amusing, and that is not why I am mentioning it. I find it very sad. I find it sad that this young girl is going to be telling this story to anyone and everyone who will listen, because she wants others to think it doesn’t hurt her. I find it sad that she likely thinks there is something wrong with her because she has a father who is completely useless. I find it sad that my daughter completely understands, because her own father will not pick her or her sisters up, ever.

When did it become so hard for parents to be parents? Not their children’s best friend, but their parent. The one who will support and encourage, teach values and virtues, and discipline not because they enjoy it, but because it is a necessary part of parenting.

It has not been easy on me being a single parent by any means, and for quite a while I was succeeding very well at failing my girls. It took awhile for me to let go of the hurt and anger I had, and focus on what was important. That my girls have a mother who loves them more than anything, and will do everything possible to ensure they are cared for, know they are loved, and encouraged to be themselves. Thank goodness they do not need a father for that.

When Did “No” Stop Meaning No?

Published December 17, 2013 by Angela

I know when.

When I stopped making it mean “No.”

When I said “No” and changed my mind later.

When I was too tired to argue with my kids.

 When I was too tired to listen to my kids argue with each other.

When I got sick of listening to my kids whine because they were told “No.”

 When I felt bad for one of my kids for one of any number of reasons and let them have their way.

When I was mad at myself for something I said or did.

When I was mad at myself for something I didn’t say or do, and should have.

There are just some days when I do not have it in me to deal with the whining, bickering, arguing, and crying. There are days when 3 girls, all 3 years apart, can shut themselves in one bedroom and get along so well that I would never even know they are in the house. Then there are days when I literally cannot walk up the stairs, and into the bathroom, without them beginning to argue. I cannot take a shower without someone putting their hands on someone else. I cannot walk into the kitchen to cook dinner without a yelling match breaking out in the living room.

The closer it gets to Christmas; the worse they are behaving.

The closer it gets to Christmas; the less patience I have for it. I mean this is when they are supposed to be all sunshine and roses, right? On their best behavior for Santa, right? Except only one of them may still believe in Santa, and I honestly will be glad when I know for sure that the ruse is up!

So I do take full responsibility for not making “No” mean “No”. Of course they are going to keep bugging me; it always worked before. At some point I have got to make what I say mean what it is supposed to mean, and that will have to be over Christmas break. At the beginning of January I will begin classes for my MBA, so any semblance I have had of peace and free time will be non-existent.

Attitudes can be adjusted, (including mine!!!) but it will take lots of willpower, patience, and positive reinforcement on my part, and cooperation on my children’s part. It will be an experiment in the making, but I am excited to work on it, and fine-tune it, to be able to enjoy the final results, eventually. I will rely on my Faith, and pray often, with my girls, and hope that my positive attitude will set an example for them to have a positive attitude!