raising kids

All posts tagged raising kids

If I May Interrupt Your Currently Scheduled Broadcast…

Published November 16, 2017 by Angela

…to discuss something that I have quickly realized is an epidemic in my community. I have been aware of it, heard some talk here-and-there about it, but when it begins to affect my personal life, I feel I must take action.

It is children being raised by their Grandparents. I do not see this as a bad thing, and am grateful for every single grandparent who has taken on the responsibility of raising their grandchildren, because their own children are unable or unwilling to.

It's hurting again drawing

My 13 year old daughter has two best friends, one who lives with her Granny, and another who lives with her Grandma and Grandpa. These girls are always at my house. I feed them, I take them to church, and one of them spends at least 4 nights out of 7 at my house. I am okay with that. I know the grandparents of this one girl, and they are also raising one of her brothers. They send food over, take the girls places, etc. It is a group effort, and I am glad to be a part of it.

So what happened yesterday was my 13 year old shows up with a boy from school. He doesn’t have his house key, and no one is home right now.

Okay, fair enough. I ask him where he lives, and he says he is going to walk home. No problem. I told him he will be leaving by 7:30.

Feeling under the weather all week, congested and with sinus headache, I fell asleep while sitting up in my bed reading a book. I wake up at 11:45 pm. I go in the living room, and there sits said boy, watching television.

“What are you still doing here?!?!?!” (my daughter is sound asleep).

“I don’t know.”

“Who exactly do you live with?”

“My Grandma.”

He gets his coat on, grabs his backpack, and starts heading out the door.

“What are you doing?!?!?!?”

“Walking home.”

Uh, the hell you are, it’s freaking midnight.”

Sad Kid Image

azloraimt.deviantart.com 

Anyhow, to make a long story short; I know; too late: I drop him off at a home with 3 cars in the driveway, lights on, front door is locked, he walks around the back, not to be seen again. Now I don’t know if he got in the house, and this isn’t a great neighborhood. I am not about to knock on the front door, walk around the back, or continue to sit in my vehicle in the middle of the road.

I was so stressed and upset about the well-being of this boy when I got back home that I had to take a Xanax just to calm the hell down and try to get back to sleep. I barely slept, and woke up still worrying.

I cannot imagine what kind of life this 13 year old boy has that he can be gone from his home at midnight, and there is not one single person who cares enough about him to be looking for him, texting him, anything.

It absolutely breaks my heart. What the hell have we become as a society? There are parents who don’t care about their kids any longer, and can’t be bothered to take care of them. We are failing our children. The responsibility falls on the grandparents so very often, and they lack the resources, room, energy, and likely knowledge of this new digital social media world we are in now.

This one incident has pushed me in the direction of seeing what kind of resources are available in my community, and what I can do to help.

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What Has Happened To Us?

Published August 13, 2015 by Angela

As I manage 3 blogs and read through what the community is saying via what my blog is about, I find it so very sad to see so many women with newborn babies struggling to raise them alone. Women who were told to “get rid of it”, but didn’t. Women who were promised, “I will be there forever”, but it really meant I will be there until someone else catches my eye. Women who suddenly found themselves divorced with little children because the “family life” became to much for the father (I say that VERY loosely).

Why is it okay to just walk away? To say “It is not my problem?”

What happened to our morals, our foundation, our right and desire to live the American dream?

It is gone. And the people who still stick up for it are the outcasts, the freaks, the ones who reject change.

Believe-you-me, I would rather it still be like it was when I was a child in the 70’s and 80’s and parents beat your butt, you went outside and played until the streetlights came on just to give your parents some peace of mind, and you did NOT talk back.

One Homeschooling Semester Down; One To Go!

Published January 17, 2015 by Angela

I have been beyond frustrated with my daughter and her homeschooling efforts this week. It has been a trying week for me anyways with very little sleep, and terrible headaches.

Sunflowers 9-22-14 005

I swear to goodness I have no idea what I am going to do next year if she does not go to the public high school 😦

She will be spending many hours this weekend, as well as Monday and Tuesday when she is actually off from homeschool, getting ahead.

What she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her.

And it will certainly help me!

Hoping tonight brings me some sleep, and tomorrow brings me some smiles and peace of mind.

Wishing you a wonderful weekend full of joy, warmth, and wonderful memories!

Just In The Nick Of Time!

Published October 29, 2014 by Angela

We had pumpkin carving tonight for our Wednesday night church classes (WOW) Worship on Wednesday. This is the only way my girls were likely going to be carving pumpkins. I completely blew this task off last year, and am still being told a couple of them cried because of it. I hardly think so because 1) if they were crying about it, I would remember it, and 2) I am not that mean.

WOW Halloween Celebration 10-29-2014 023

So yeah, I do not like carving pumpkins. I did not really care for it when I was a kid, either. The only thing I dislike more than carving pumpkins is coloring Easter eggs. Yep; I can’t stand doing that either. But in my defense, every single Easter, I have 4 dozen colored eggs sitting in my refrigerator for weeks.

My two favorite holidays, and I dislike the two most popular things about those holidays 🙂

So now that that is over, I hope everyone has a safe, fun-filled Halloween. I am officially down to 1 child trick-or-treating, and since it is supposed to snow here in Michigan, by Friday I will be thinking that it is 1 too many!

Things The Neighbor Kids Say, Part 3

Published October 3, 2014 by Angela

My 10-year old daughter’s friend came over, asking if she could come outside to play basketball. Here is what the conversation consisted of:

My 10-year-old: “I thought you were going with your dad?”

10-year-old neighbor: “He said he’s sick. So we can’t go.” (her and her older brother)

My 10yo: “Oh, okay. Are you going to go later?”

10yo neighbor: “No. Because he was supposed to get us two weeks ago, but forgot. And the time before that he couldn’t get us because he had no food. And now he says he’s sick. And that he had us 2 weeks ago. But he didn’t cause we have been at Grandma’s during every weekend for the past month. And Grandma said we are never going over there again. So the only time I will ever see my dad again is if I see him at the store.”

I do not find this amusing, and that is not why I am mentioning it. I find it very sad. I find it sad that this young girl is going to be telling this story to anyone and everyone who will listen, because she wants others to think it doesn’t hurt her. I find it sad that she likely thinks there is something wrong with her because she has a father who is completely useless. I find it sad that my daughter completely understands, because her own father will not pick her or her sisters up, ever.

When did it become so hard for parents to be parents? Not their children’s best friend, but their parent. The one who will support and encourage, teach values and virtues, and discipline not because they enjoy it, but because it is a necessary part of parenting.

It has not been easy on me being a single parent by any means, and for quite a while I was succeeding very well at failing my girls. It took awhile for me to let go of the hurt and anger I had, and focus on what was important. That my girls have a mother who loves them more than anything, and will do everything possible to ensure they are cared for, know they are loved, and encouraged to be themselves. Thank goodness they do not need a father for that.

I’m Not Sure Who Made Me More Angry

Published March 9, 2014 by Angela

……..The idiot representing the cable company on the other end of the internet conversation, or whichever child of mine thought they would pull a fast one.

I usually don’t have a problem paying my bills, but when I see my already outrageous cable bill is even higher than its usual ridiculously high price, I start scanning the bill.

Yep; someone wanted to watch something on pay-per-view that was $19.95. So, I grab the remote, and try to change the parental controls. Except this clever child of mine changed the 4-digit pin. So I was locked out from my ability to parental control the crap out of the television. So, I go online to my account, and decide to instant conversation with someone from the cable company ( or as we say here: foreign country that understands limited English). In a moment you will see why I say this.

I swear to goodness they do this!

I swear to goodness they do this!

I ask how to reset my pin that my kids changed. I get told that I cannot change my pin without knowing what the current one is. Now let me just say, I will not name this cable company; except to say that they are the second foulest word in the English language that starts with a C and ends with a T. Got it? O.K. 😀

So by now I am getting angrier by the second, and ask this person (aka Maria) if she is telling me that my kids can buy whatever they want on my cable system and I am unable to do anything about it? I will just cut to the chase here, because this was a really, REALLY long conversation. She sent a signal to my cable box; after I gave her my social security number (she said, Thanks, that matches your account! I said “Why wouldn’t it, it’s my social security number?”) No, I felt no desire to be nice to this person, even if she had the ability at her fingertips to cut my cable, phone, and internet and ruin my night.

After 20+ minutes, I am able to reset my pin and start locking things out. I ask her: “How can I see what this PPV program was?” She says (You are gonna love this!)

“What is the title of it that is on your bill?”

Yeah, I am getting angrier, and meaner. So I ask “Maria”:

“If I knew what the title of it was, why in the world would I possibly be asking you for it?”

By this point, I am not really caring about the $20.00, (not that I ever was, it was just the point of it) and am more concerned that I may have a kid here watching some nasty porno crap and I need to intervene ASAP.

I never did find out what it was, and unless if it pops up on my bill with the title (which it may not since I paid the bill) I may never know. But I do know without a doubt that it will not happen again. I have locked out every single channel, and they will be watching the religious channel as long as the television is on.

True Story!

True Story!

Has someone tried to pull a fast one on you recently?