…about having one more day of work, and then 9 days off. Because as I sit here, I have 3 girls bickering over the most ridiculous BS possible. Cassidy wants to sit on the love seat, but Erin doesn’t want her sitting by her. So Erin asked Kendall to sit on the end of the couch where she is laying down, and she said No.
“Kendall, why can’t she sit at the end of the couch where there is room?”
“I wasn’t listening to her.”
“So you just answered No, when you have no idea what she asked?”
So now I am thinking maybe having extended days at home is not going to be a good thing. Luckily Kendall and Cassidy have 2 1/2 days of school next week, ending Wednesday afternoon. That gives me a couple days of quiet to get ahead on my reading and house organizing. At least until they get home from school.
I will be the first to admit, I could never, and would never, be able to stay at home full-time with my children. So if you are anti-Moms-working-you-need-to-stay-home-and-take-care-of-the-kids-you-had, save your breath. Just because I had them, does not mean it is the best interest of any of us to have too much together time 🙂 Me going to work for 9 hours and coming home gives me something to look forward to; dinner with my girls, and getting caught up on how everyone’s day was. I tried to be the working mom with the stay-at-home husband/dad; it wasn’t my fault he was an epic failure at that! It is honestly easier to do everything on my own, then to ever have to deal with him on a daily basis 🙂
My 10-year old daughter’s friend came over, asking if she could come outside to play basketball. Here is what the conversation consisted of:
My 10-year-old: “I thought you were going with your dad?”
10-year-old neighbor: “He said he’s sick. So we can’t go.” (her and her older brother)
My 10yo: “Oh, okay. Are you going to go later?”
10yo neighbor: “No. Because he was supposed to get us two weeks ago, but forgot. And the time before that he couldn’t get us because he had no food. And now he says he’s sick. And that he had us 2 weeks ago. But he didn’t cause we have been at Grandma’s during every weekend for the past month. And Grandma said we are never going over there again. So the only time I will ever see my dad again is if I see him at the store.”
I do not find this amusing, and that is not why I am mentioning it. I find it very sad. I find it sad that this young girl is going to be telling this story to anyone and everyone who will listen, because she wants others to think it doesn’t hurt her. I find it sad that she likely thinks there is something wrong with her because she has a father who is completely useless. I find it sad that my daughter completely understands, because her own father will not pick her or her sisters up, ever.
When did it become so hard for parents to be parents? Not their children’s best friend, but their parent. The one who will support and encourage, teach values and virtues, and discipline not because they enjoy it, but because it is a necessary part of parenting.
It has not been easy on me being a single parent by any means, and for quite a while I was succeeding very well at failing my girls. It took awhile for me to let go of the hurt and anger I had, and focus on what was important. That my girls have a mother who loves them more than anything, and will do everything possible to ensure they are cared for, know they are loved, and encouraged to be themselves. Thank goodness they do not need a father for that.
Yes, I am serious. I told my girls they should be getting me something for Father’s Day, since I have been both Mother and Father for the past 8 years. They must have thought I was joking. I was not joking.
Just to let you know, before anyone thinks I am disrespecting any Single or divorced dads, I am not. My ex does not come to see his children. Ever. He does not buy them birthday gifts. He does not call them on their birthdays. Or Christmas. Easter? Never. He actually saw them 2 Easters ago when I was going out of state for a week. I told him 3 months ahead of time that he would have to get them their Easter stuff. And I kept reminding him. Again, and again. And again.
When I picked them up, after Easter was over, (yes, I had to drop them off and pick them up), they let me know they got nothing for Easter. What did he tell them? The house was too crowded with them there so the Easter bunny did not have room to leave their Easter baskets.
Let me be clear on the fact that 2 of these girls are long past believing in the Easter bunny. So what could they have possibly thought, and worse yet, how horrible could that have made them feel?
So yes, I am the Father to them.
And on that note, I am wishing my father a wonderful day; I tried calling several times and he was either gone or the phone was busy (he does not live near me).
And I wish all of the Fathers out there who are really truly fathers a wonderful day as well. It is not easy being a parent. Whether you are the mother, or the father.