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All posts tagged dads

Boy He’s Starting Early This Christmas Season…

Published December 2, 2014 by Angela

…with the phone calls, and questioning when he can get his girls for Christmas. My girls have been rotating the phone for the past 2 hours, taking turns talking to their dad. While I am struggling to get my 13 year old to sit down and focus on the homework she did not do during the day. Because she slept. So as I manage to get her to stay in front of the laptop for more than 2 seconds, this is what I hear…

Erin: “So, dad is going to talk to you, but he wants to know if he can pick us up on Christmas Eve?”

Me: “And when exactly would you like me to celebrate Christmas with you, since he is keeping you for the entire Christmas break?”

Erin: “I don’t know.”

Me: “He can get you early Christmas morning.”

Erin: “………..” (pouty-face-attitude-coming-for-me-within-the-next-day-or-so).

I do not know how many times he needs to be told to ASK ME before he tells the girls something is going to happen. Yes; I am being a bitch. Would you like to know why I am being a bitch?

Probably not. But I am going to tell you anyway.

1) He does not pay child support

2) He does not regularly visit his girls, unless if you consider once a year regular; if so, he is spot on!

3) He has not bought them (or even made them) one single Christmas gift in the past 5 years

4) He does not call them on their birthdays

5) He does not call them until it gets to be nearly Christmas

Now, I completely realize that the presents have NOTHING to do with the true meaning of Christmas. But when they come home from spending the holidays with him and tell me about all the video games and new things he has bought for himself, and they got nothing; yeah, I get pissed. When I had to drive last year for 4 hours in a blizzard with weather warnings to not be on the road because he suddenly had no way to get them home; yeah, I got pissed. So, he can do one of a few things. He can get them when I say he can. He can call his lawyer. Then we can go in front of the judge and he can explain his lack of father-participation in the upbringing of his girls. Or he can show up on Christmas Eve with the misunderstanding that he is taking his girls that early, and then hang out somewhere until Christmas morning.

I need my girls to enjoy their Christmas. In order for them to do this, I need to deal with these issues with their dad without getting them involved. I wish he would be as considerate of their feelings as well.

I Was Probably Happy Much Too Soon…

Published November 20, 2014 by Angela

…about having one more day of work, and then 9 days off. Because as I sit here, I have 3 girls bickering over the most ridiculous BS possible. Cassidy wants to sit on the love seat, but Erin doesn’t want her sitting by her. So Erin asked Kendall to sit on the end of the couch where she is laying down, and she said No.

“Kendall, why can’t she sit at the end of the couch where there is room?”

“I wasn’t listening to her.”

“So you just answered No, when you have no idea what she asked?”

Yep.”

So now I am thinking maybe having extended days at home is not going to be a good thing. Luckily Kendall and Cassidy have 2 1/2 days of school next week, ending Wednesday afternoon. That gives me a couple days of quiet to get ahead on my reading and house organizing. At least until they get home from school.

I will be the first to admit, I could never, and would never, be able to stay at home full-time with my children. So if you are anti-Moms-working-you-need-to-stay-home-and-take-care-of-the-kids-you-had, save your breath. Just because I had them, does not mean it is the best interest of any of us to have too much together time 🙂 Me going to work for 9 hours and coming home gives me something to look forward to; dinner with my girls, and getting caught up on how everyone’s day was. I tried to be the working mom with the stay-at-home husband/dad; it wasn’t my fault he was an epic failure at that! It is honestly easier to do everything on my own, then to ever have to deal with him on a daily basis 🙂

And This Is Exactly Why I Wish You Would Just Stay Away…

Published November 12, 2014 by Angela

…because since last Saturday, I have been asked, e-v-e-r-y  s-i-n-g-l-e  d-a-y “When is Dad coming to get us again?” “Is Dad going to get us for Christmas Break?” “Can you call Dad and see if he can go to my basketball game Saturday?” and it goes on-and-on-and-on.

Why does this bother me? Because he made a surprise appearance at my front door, 11 months to the day of the last time he saw his (MY) children. And now I get to deal with this. And the crying, and being upset, and brand new feelings of abandonment when he does not show up again for 11 months. And they were just starting to heal from the last time he did this.

So once again I get to pick up the broken pieces, and deal with the brunt of their anger because he is not around to take it.

Someone is not going to have a happy Christmas, and I guarantee you it will not be my children or myself. He is NOT going to break them again; they can only be put back together so many times before it becomes irreparable.

Sometimes the best thing you can do for your children is to just go away. And if you are someone who is reading this and angry about this post and feel I am being unfair to their “Father”, I am more than willing to post a 10,000 word blog on how he has wronged his children, over and over again. Not to even mention how he destroyed our marriage and relationships between my family members and myself in the process.

So as one of my favorite Motley Crue songs states…”Don’t go away mad, just go away.” Except in this case I could not care less if he is mad. I’ve been mad for 8 years at what he continues to do to avoid taking any responsibility for these girls.

I Owe You An Apology!!!

Published November 7, 2013 by Angela

I owe some of you an apology for my previous post! I feel like I said some things without explaining my point enough which as I thought about it throughout the day I realized I likely offended others.

I believe that being a stay-at-home Mom is the toughest job in the world. I have done it for short periods of time, and it is the one job that a woman can never, ever leave and go “home” from. My 50-60 hours I work a week is nothing compared to how much I would be working if I never left my home.

I have nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for women (and stay-at-home Dads!) who have this career. I have never had the opportunity to be a stay-at-home Mom due to circumstances beyond my control, so I am just accustomed to finding sitters and leaving my home for work.

So if I offended any of you, PLEASE accept my sincerest apologies.

Now I am just going to go sit over here in the corner and chew on my foot that I put in my mouth for awhile!