arguing

All posts tagged arguing

I Was Probably Happy Much Too Soon…

Published November 20, 2014 by Angela

…about having one more day of work, and then 9 days off. Because as I sit here, I have 3 girls bickering over the most ridiculous BS possible. Cassidy wants to sit on the love seat, but Erin doesn’t want her sitting by her. So Erin asked Kendall to sit on the end of the couch where she is laying down, and she said No.

“Kendall, why can’t she sit at the end of the couch where there is room?”

“I wasn’t listening to her.”

“So you just answered No, when you have no idea what she asked?”

“Yep.”

So now I am thinking maybe having extended days at home is not going to be a good thing. Luckily Kendall and Cassidy have 2 1/2 days of school next week, ending Wednesday afternoon. That gives me a couple days of quiet to get ahead on my reading and house organizing. At least until they get home from school.

I will be the first to admit, I could never, and would never, be able to stay at home full-time with my children. So if you are anti-Moms-working-you-need-to-stay-home-and-take-care-of-the-kids-you-had, save your breath. Just because I had them, does not mean it is the best interest of any of us to have too much together time 🙂 Me going to work for 9 hours and coming home gives me something to look forward to; dinner with my girls, and getting caught up on how everyone’s day was. I tried to be the working mom with the stay-at-home husband/dad; it wasn’t my fault he was an epic failure at that! It is honestly easier to do everything on my own, then to ever have to deal with him on a daily basis 🙂

The Calm Before the Storm…

Published October 15, 2014 by Angela

…maybe this storm will pass right by? Yeah. Not likely.

So no one felt the need to ask/tell me that one or more of them want to go live with their dad. I was also gone from 5:30am until 6:30 pm, thanks to a very lengthy Doctor’s visit that has led to several more Doctor visits. More on that, later…

By the time I actually made it home, exhausted, I had to get my participation in for my MBA class, check Erin’s homeschooling assignments (which she is still behind, since she slept until 11 am) of which I have also set a new caught-up date of this coming Saturday.

It is just not going to happen. And I am just not ready for this argument right now. And the attitude. And the slamming doors, and throwing of things important and unimportant. And likely refusal to do homeschooling assignments as some sort of punishment for me when the only person she is hurting is herself.

I just cannot justify letting my emotionally unstable 13 year old teenage daughter move in with her father, who she has not seen since January 2nd. Who cannot keep a job. Who lives who-knows-where. Oh. And he is physically and verbally abusive.

Yeah. Not gonna happen.

So I will prepare myself for the attitude to come, and let her know I am doing what is best for her.

I cannot wait for Christmas and that big battle! 🙂

Waking up To Silence…

Published June 17, 2014 by Angela

…there is nothing better. There are no words. I cannot recall the last time that I actually had the house to myself. With my oldest daughter (FINALLY) home after 6 weeks in South Africa, she has a week off from work to get back on the United States schedule 🙂

So she picked up her 3 younger sisters, took them to the beach for the day, to both of her Grandma’s houses, McDonald’s, and peace and quiet for Mom.

They are walking in the door right now, and the silence is no more.

But it was amazing having a couple of hours of no talking, no television, to fighting, and no asking me for anything.

Thanks Jess, you are the best! And can we do this again tomorrow?

When You Would Rather Be Working Then At Home With Your Children

Published March 22, 2014 by Angela

Yes, I will admit it. I cannot wait to leave for work, so I can get some piece-and-quiet. I am so beyond tired of the bickering over “I didn’t get my turn on the laptop, she was on too long, it’s not fair, you never let me……” and on and on and on it goes.

ahhhh, if only I drank :-)

ahhhh, if only I drank 🙂

So, they are going to be super happy to hear that the laptop will be locked in my bedroom for the next week, and that I am getting rid of the cable. That’s two less things they will have to fight about, and I won’t have to pay that crapass company Comcast another 200+ for a monthly cable bill. Of course, we will be having this discussion tonight as I walk out the door for work; that gives them the whole entire night to stew about it, and hopefully start to get over it 🙂

Now I can start getting the “I’m bored song and dance. Get rid of two evils to add another one in 🙂

 

And how is the start of your weekend going?

Back To Reality – Well, By About 50% So Far!

Published January 2, 2014 by Angela

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What a wonderful, relaxing Christmas break I have had. Normally I do not look forward to time off from work (it does nothing more than mess with my sleep schedule and turn me into “not-so-nice-Mommy-anymore!”)

And being the 1st of January, and technically the 2nd for me being a shift worker, I get to go back to work tonight. I am feeling pretty good about this, and not dreading it like most people do.

 

Why is this only back to reality by 50%? Because I am still 2 children short until this upcoming weekend, and it has been like this since the day after Christmas. I have to be completely honest here, my 2 children that are with their father are the same 2 children who have been fighting with each other, and everyone else, non-stop for the past month. My 15 year old didn’t want to go, so while she has been home and not hanging out with her friends, we have had some bonding time, and complete peace and quiet in our house.

Don’t get me wrong, I do miss my girls. But I am liking the peace and quiet right now more than I am missing them. Yes, I know that makes me a bad Mom and I should be crying over the fact that my girls have been gone for a week now. What you need to understand to put this in perspective, or at least in my point of view, is that I never have peace and quiet here. My children never leave to go with their Dad. The last time before now that he has seen them? April. Spring break when I physically dropped them off and picked them back up. Or he wouldn’t have seen them at that time either.

No, I’m not bashing my ex. It is what it is and honestly, I am glad that I do not have to communicate with him on a regular basis, it makes life a lot easier for me and my girls (they agree on this point, hence, one of them not even wanting to go).

So I think I have 3 or 4 more days of this quiet, argument-free environment before they come back home. And I will hug them, and kiss them, and tell them how much I love them and missed them (Yes, I really do miss them!). And then I am going to try to put into place something; anything that will help everyone get along better without the bickering over completely mute issues.

I am looking forward to making this 2014 year a wonderful one for me and my family, even without resolutions being made.

Have you made any resolutions?

This Is Probably Wrong On So Many Levels….

Published December 20, 2013 by Angela

But I have literally been off from work for 8 hours, and am thinking I need to find a part-time job for 9 days.

I have never, never, in 21+ years of parenting, had to listen to girls fight as much as I have for the last 2 weeks. Unbelievable. The closer it gets to Christmas; the worse they fight. Yet they ask me: “Mom, can you put some more presents under the tree?”

Really?

I am about to return the ones that are already under the tree.

And go shopping for myself.

Honestly, it has been snowing here since Halloween, and I think this is going to be a long season of cabin fever. I have the best of intentions, and the smallest of patience. And the less patience I have, the more they fight. I don’t want to be home having my sleep schedule messed up. I want to go to work at 10 pm, and crawl into bed at 8 am with my earplugs, and eye mask, and “The Hobbit” blaring loud enough in the DVD to drown out my kids arguing.

I am soooo sick of hearing “stupid”, and “idiot” in my house that I can’t even discuss it. When did I become the Mother and Father to such rude children? They weren’t this rude last year, or last month. But I have become the parent of not only children who suffer from being bullied, but they are also the bullies; to their own sisters.

We will be spending every moment that our church is having service at church, and the rest of the time doing things for others who are less fortunate. Because my girls think they have it pretty bad; I think it’s time for them to see what pretty bad really is. It isn’t having to use the same back-pack two years in a row; it is not having a pair of shoes that lets you go to school in the first place.

 

When Did “No” Stop Meaning No?

Published December 17, 2013 by Angela

I know when.

When I stopped making it mean “No.”

When I said “No” and changed my mind later.

When I was too tired to argue with my kids.

 When I was too tired to listen to my kids argue with each other.

When I got sick of listening to my kids whine because they were told “No.”

 When I felt bad for one of my kids for one of any number of reasons and let them have their way.

When I was mad at myself for something I said or did.

When I was mad at myself for something I didn’t say or do, and should have.

There are just some days when I do not have it in me to deal with the whining, bickering, arguing, and crying. There are days when 3 girls, all 3 years apart, can shut themselves in one bedroom and get along so well that I would never even know they are in the house. Then there are days when I literally cannot walk up the stairs, and into the bathroom, without them beginning to argue. I cannot take a shower without someone putting their hands on someone else. I cannot walk into the kitchen to cook dinner without a yelling match breaking out in the living room.

The closer it gets to Christmas; the worse they are behaving.

The closer it gets to Christmas; the less patience I have for it. I mean this is when they are supposed to be all sunshine and roses, right? On their best behavior for Santa, right? Except only one of them may still believe in Santa, and I honestly will be glad when I know for sure that the ruse is up!

So I do take full responsibility for not making “No” mean “No”. Of course they are going to keep bugging me; it always worked before. At some point I have got to make what I say mean what it is supposed to mean, and that will have to be over Christmas break. At the beginning of January I will begin classes for my MBA, so any semblance I have had of peace and free time will be non-existent.

Attitudes can be adjusted, (including mine!!!) but it will take lots of willpower, patience, and positive reinforcement on my part, and cooperation on my children’s part. It will be an experiment in the making, but I am excited to work on it, and fine-tune it, to be able to enjoy the final results, eventually. I will rely on my Faith, and pray often, with my girls, and hope that my positive attitude will set an example for them to have a positive attitude!