getting along

All posts tagged getting along

Back To Reality – Well, By About 50% So Far!

Published January 2, 2014 by Angela

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What a wonderful, relaxing Christmas break I have had. Normally I do not look forward to time off from work (it does nothing more than mess with my sleep schedule and turn me into “not-so-nice-Mommy-anymore!”)

And being the 1st of January, and technically the 2nd for me being a shift worker, I get to go back to work tonight. I am feeling pretty good about this, and not dreading it like most people do.

 

Why is this only back to reality by 50%? Because I am still 2 children short until this upcoming weekend, and it has been like this since the day after Christmas. I have to be completely honest here, my 2 children that are with their father are the same 2 children who have been fighting with each other, and everyone else, non-stop for the past month. My 15 year old didn’t want to go, so while she has been home and not hanging out with her friends, we have had some bonding time, and complete peace and quiet in our house.

Don’t get me wrong, I do miss my girls. But I am liking the peace and quiet right now more than I am missing them. Yes, I know that makes me a bad Mom and I should be crying over the fact that my girls have been gone for a week now. What you need to understand to put this in perspective, or at least in my point of view, is that I never have peace and quiet here. My children never leave to go with their Dad. The last time before now that he has seen them? April. Spring break when I physically dropped them off and picked them back up. Or he wouldn’t have seen them at that time either.

No, I’m not bashing my ex. It is what it is and honestly, I am glad that I do not have to communicate with him on a regular basis, it makes life a lot easier for me and my girls (they agree on this point, hence, one of them not even wanting to go).

So I think I have 3 or 4 more days of this quiet, argument-free environment before they come back home. And I will hug them, and kiss them, and tell them how much I love them and missed them (Yes, I really do miss them!). And then I am going to try to put into place something; anything that will help everyone get along better without the bickering over completely mute issues.

I am looking forward to making this 2014 year a wonderful one for me and my family, even without resolutions being made.

Have you made any resolutions?

When Did “No” Stop Meaning No?

Published December 17, 2013 by Angela

I know when.

When I stopped making it mean “No.”

When I said “No” and changed my mind later.

When I was too tired to argue with my kids.

 When I was too tired to listen to my kids argue with each other.

When I got sick of listening to my kids whine because they were told “No.”

 When I felt bad for one of my kids for one of any number of reasons and let them have their way.

When I was mad at myself for something I said or did.

When I was mad at myself for something I didn’t say or do, and should have.

There are just some days when I do not have it in me to deal with the whining, bickering, arguing, and crying. There are days when 3 girls, all 3 years apart, can shut themselves in one bedroom and get along so well that I would never even know they are in the house. Then there are days when I literally cannot walk up the stairs, and into the bathroom, without them beginning to argue. I cannot take a shower without someone putting their hands on someone else. I cannot walk into the kitchen to cook dinner without a yelling match breaking out in the living room.

The closer it gets to Christmas; the worse they are behaving.

The closer it gets to Christmas; the less patience I have for it. I mean this is when they are supposed to be all sunshine and roses, right? On their best behavior for Santa, right? Except only one of them may still believe in Santa, and I honestly will be glad when I know for sure that the ruse is up!

So I do take full responsibility for not making “No” mean “No”. Of course they are going to keep bugging me; it always worked before. At some point I have got to make what I say mean what it is supposed to mean, and that will have to be over Christmas break. At the beginning of January I will begin classes for my MBA, so any semblance I have had of peace and free time will be non-existent.

Attitudes can be adjusted, (including mine!!!) but it will take lots of willpower, patience, and positive reinforcement on my part, and cooperation on my children’s part. It will be an experiment in the making, but I am excited to work on it, and fine-tune it, to be able to enjoy the final results, eventually. I will rely on my Faith, and pray often, with my girls, and hope that my positive attitude will set an example for them to have a positive attitude!