SAD

All posts tagged SAD

If I May Interrupt Your Currently Scheduled Broadcast…

Published November 16, 2017 by Angela

…to discuss something that I have quickly realized is an epidemic in my community. I have been aware of it, heard some talk here-and-there about it, but when it begins to affect my personal life, I feel I must take action.

It is children being raised by their Grandparents. I do not see this as a bad thing, and am grateful for every single grandparent who has taken on the responsibility of raising their grandchildren, because their own children are unable or unwilling to.

It's hurting again drawing

My 13 year old daughter has two best friends, one who lives with her Granny, and another who lives with her Grandma and Grandpa. These girls are always at my house. I feed them, I take them to church, and one of them spends at least 4 nights out of 7 at my house. I am okay with that. I know the grandparents of this one girl, and they are also raising one of her brothers. They send food over, take the girls places, etc. It is a group effort, and I am glad to be a part of it.

So what happened yesterday was my 13 year old shows up with a boy from school. He doesn’t have his house key, and no one is home right now.

Okay, fair enough. I ask him where he lives, and he says he is going to walk home. No problem. I told him he will be leaving by 7:30.

Feeling under the weather all week, congested and with sinus headache, I fell asleep while sitting up in my bed reading a book. I wake up at 11:45 pm. I go in the living room, and there sits said boy, watching television.

“What are you still doing here?!?!?!” (my daughter is sound asleep).

“I don’t know.”

“Who exactly do you live with?”

“My Grandma.”

He gets his coat on, grabs his backpack, and starts heading out the door.

“What are you doing?!?!?!?”

“Walking home.”

Uh, the hell you are, it’s freaking midnight.”

Sad Kid Image

azloraimt.deviantart.com 

Anyhow, to make a long story short; I know; too late: I drop him off at a home with 3 cars in the driveway, lights on, front door is locked, he walks around the back, not to be seen again. Now I don’t know if he got in the house, and this isn’t a great neighborhood. I am not about to knock on the front door, walk around the back, or continue to sit in my vehicle in the middle of the road.

I was so stressed and upset about the well-being of this boy when I got back home that I had to take a Xanax just to calm the hell down and try to get back to sleep. I barely slept, and woke up still worrying.

I cannot imagine what kind of life this 13 year old boy has that he can be gone from his home at midnight, and there is not one single person who cares enough about him to be looking for him, texting him, anything.

It absolutely breaks my heart. What the hell have we become as a society? There are parents who don’t care about their kids any longer, and can’t be bothered to take care of them. We are failing our children. The responsibility falls on the grandparents so very often, and they lack the resources, room, energy, and likely knowledge of this new digital social media world we are in now.

This one incident has pushed me in the direction of seeing what kind of resources are available in my community, and what I can do to help.

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And So It Begins In West Michigan…

Published November 17, 2014 by Angela

…a Winter season that is looking to be as bad as everyone predicted, which is even worse than last year. It is currently 6:15pm here, on November 17th, and there are 104 closings for evening events that were scheduled. I think the school closings will start coming in by about 10 pm.

Another thing that I get out of the Winter season is numerous Doctor, Med-center, and Emergency room visits. Case in point: a 5:00 am trip to the ER this morning with my 16 year old. She has asthma, and as soon as the temperature gets to a certain degree outside, she is pretty much miserable for the entire Winter season. I spent $55.00 on an OTC nebulizer at the pharmacy yesterday which seemed to help, momentarily. Her other inhalers were not doing the trick. But this morning by the time I got out of the shower and dressed for work, she asked to go to the emergency room. I know better than to second guess or question her when she asks, because she will suffer in silence until she can absolutely not deal with it any longer.

And that other lovely side effect of bad Michigan Winters is lots of snow days for my girls. Which means lots of phone calls at work for me, because they cannot get along. Sometimes they do spectacular together, other days, they really all just need to be in separate rooms.

And the worst side effect is that I get seasonal depression. Which is much worse than my regular depression I deal with on a daily basis. As soon as the time changed and it started getting dark at 5:30 pm, I have been short of patience. I have plenty of books on my reading list, and my best defense against this very real seasonal depression is laying in my comfortable bed with my cat, reading great stories.

How do you handle the Winter weather if you are in a snowy state?

What The Hell Is Wrong With Me?

Published February 7, 2014 by Angela

No, this isn’t a hypothetical question. I have seriously been asking myself this question pretty much since the beginning of 2014.

I would like to blame the non-stop snow that has been gracing Michigan since the end of October/beginning of November. OK, so maybe that can take some of the blame. I really do not like being cold. At all. But I have been very, very grouchy. And angry. And bitchy. the small things that I have shrugged off for the past several months are suddenly huge boulders of problems that I am carrying around on my shoulders. No, it isn’t that these small things are just happening over-and-over again and I have finally had enough. It is the little things that would not bother any normal-mood person (including me) are now enough to set me on edge.

 

I have been feeling incredible for the past several months: I have made some positive changes in my life that have really been a huge improvement on my quality of life, for myself and my 4 girls. I have a wonderful job (no, really, it IS wonderful) that allows me to take care of my girls without any help from anyone, a nice home, my health, 4 healthy girls, a wonderful group of friends and co-workers, and a church family that help me stay grounded.

So why can’t I shake the bad mood? Is it really SAD? You know, seasonal affective disorder? It shouldn’t be. I just know this, without going into all the details 🙂

So why don’t I feel as great now as I have been for the past several months? Believe me, I am not sitting around saying “Poor Me”. I truly know how lucky and blessed I am, and I say thanks for that every, single, day.

I am just tired of the little stuff feeling like huge things. It’s not. It isn’t any bigger than it would have been if it happened last November.

So since I have only lost about the first week of February (we won’t even discuss January), I really need to get it back in perspective, and quit sweating the small stuff.

I know I need some “me” time. My girls and I have been stuck in the house together due to -20 wind chills and non-stop snow. Along with too many snow days to even count. No house is big enough for that much estrogen for that many days without some space.

So here’s to February, and hopefully melting snow in March, and flower buds in April, and a better attitude than I have had. Here’s to being happy, just because I should be!