What The Hell Is Wrong With Me?

Published February 7, 2014 by Angela

No, this isn’t a hypothetical question. I have seriously been asking myself this question pretty much since the beginning of 2014.

I would like to blame the non-stop snow that has been gracing Michigan since the end of October/beginning of November. OK, so maybe that can take some of the blame. I really do not like being cold. At all. But I have been very, very grouchy. And angry. And bitchy. the small things that I have shrugged off for the past several months are suddenly huge boulders of problems that I am carrying around on my shoulders. No, it isn’t that these small things are just happening over-and-over again and I have finally had enough. It is the little things that would not bother any normal-mood person (including me) are now enough to set me on edge.

 

I have been feeling incredible for the past several months: I have made some positive changes in my life that have really been a huge improvement on my quality of life, for myself and my 4 girls. I have a wonderful job (no, really, it IS wonderful) that allows me to take care of my girls without any help from anyone, a nice home, my health, 4 healthy girls, a wonderful group of friends and co-workers, and a church family that help me stay grounded.

So why can’t I shake the bad mood? Is it really SAD? You know, seasonal affective disorder? It shouldn’t be. I just know this, without going into all the details 🙂

So why don’t I feel as great now as I have been for the past several months? Believe me, I am not sitting around saying “Poor Me”. I truly know how lucky and blessed I am, and I say thanks for that every, single, day.

I am just tired of the little stuff feeling like huge things. It’s not. It isn’t any bigger than it would have been if it happened last November.

So since I have only lost about the first week of February (we won’t even discuss January), I really need to get it back in perspective, and quit sweating the small stuff.

I know I need some “me” time. My girls and I have been stuck in the house together due to -20 wind chills and non-stop snow. Along with too many snow days to even count. No house is big enough for that much estrogen for that many days without some space.

So here’s to February, and hopefully melting snow in March, and flower buds in April, and a better attitude than I have had. Here’s to being happy, just because I should be!

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