……..The idiot representing the cable company on the other end of the internet conversation, or whichever child of mine thought they would pull a fast one.

I usually don’t have a problem paying my bills, but when I see my already outrageous cable bill is even higher than its usual ridiculously high price, I start scanning the bill.

Yep; someone wanted to watch something on pay-per-view that was $19.95. So, I grab the remote, and try to change the parental controls. Except this clever child of mine changed the 4-digit pin. So I was locked out from my ability to parental control the crap out of the television. So, I go online to my account, and decide to instant conversation with someone from the cable company ( or as we say here: foreign country that understands limited English). In a moment you will see why I say this.

I ask how to reset my pin that my kids changed. I get told that I cannot change my pin without knowing what the current one is. Now let me just say, I will not name this cable company; except to say that they are the second foulest word in the English language that starts with a C and ends with a T. Got it? O.K. 😀

So by now I am getting angrier by the second, and ask this person (aka Maria) if she is telling me that my kids can buy whatever they want on my cable system and I am unable to do anything about it? I will just cut to the chase here, because this was a really, REALLY long conversation. She sent a signal to my cable box; after I gave her my social security number (she said, Thanks, that matches your account! I said “Why wouldn’t it, it’s my social security number?”) No, I felt no desire to be nice to this person, even if she had the ability at her fingertips to cut my cable, phone, and internet and ruin my night.

After 20+ minutes, I am able to reset my pin and start locking things out. I ask her: “How can I see what this PPV program was?” She says (You are gonna love this!)

“What is the title of it that is on your bill?”

Yeah, I am getting angrier, and meaner. So I ask “Maria”:

“If I knew what the title of it was, why in the world would I possibly be asking you for it?”

By this point, I am not really caring about the $20.00, (not that I ever was, it was just the point of it) and am more concerned that I may have a kid here watching some nasty porno crap and I need to intervene ASAP.

I never did find out what it was, and unless if it pops up on my bill with the title (which it may not since I paid the bill) I may never know. But I do know without a doubt that it will not happen again. I have locked out every single channel, and they will be watching the religious channel as long as the television is on.

Has someone tried to pull a fast one on you recently?