See? You had a person in mind, didn’t you? Immediately, there is one person who came to mind. You would love to just box their ears and be able to walk away. They wouldn’t be mad, and you wouldn’t get in trouble.
I, too, have such a person. A person who has went out of their way to try to irritate me, get under my skin, and make me upset. For such a long time that it got old years ago.
Really; who does this to other people? Who does this to other people and gets so much enjoyment from it? What type of person is so low on self-esteem that the only way they can feel good about themselves is to tear other people down?
Yeah; I have that person in my life. I bet you do as well.
Do you wonder what makes them tick? And even more than that, do you wonder what you can do to get back at them?
I do. Every day. Every. Single. Day. I recently told someone that I know God put this person in my life to test me, and make me a better person. But when is He going to make them be a better person?
It gets painful always turning the other cheek. Especially when you get smacked every time you do.
So just take a minute, close your eyes, and imagine smacking that person upside their cinder-block-head, walking away, and no repercussions.
Do you feel better now?
I know I do 🙂
I should have done it sooner.
After surviving what was a very depressing, cold winter here in West Michigan, I was anxiously looking forward to Easter, and spring, a vacation to Illinois, and a summer full of plans.
And then life happened. Or I happened. I had a bad day. Okay; a really bad day. I yelled at my boyfriend of 8 years, and said some mean (although easily forgivable), things to him. Apparently that was all it took for him to call it quits.
Yes. Which leads me to believe he was looking for a reason to call it quits, and as weak as this one was, he jumped at it, snatched it up, and took off running.
So let me go back and explain some things about this 8 year relationship. It was a good relationship. We have probably had about 7 or 8 arguments in that time frame. Literally. We NEVER fought. There was nothing to fight about. We went out with friends, we stayed in, we went on trips, and we did family things with my girls. We had the same interests, but while his children were adults, mine were still young.
And he already raised his kids. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I heard that…”I already raised my kids, I don’t want to do it again.”
Anyone who ever says that to me again will regret it. Instantly, and painfully so.
And I accepted it. I told myself; “It’s okay, you can raise these girls alone, without a father figure in the home, or in their life. When they grow up and move out, then we can get married.”
am was that girl.
We took a break a couple years ago. Well, let’s be honest here: he had a lot of things going on in his life, and just kept pulling further and further away from me. He needed time. I could not stand being ignored, pushed away, and left out of the things he was doing. I was officially single.
I got a boyfriend. He was furious and would not acknowledge me when he saw me.
This is what he wanted. He needed time, he didn’t need a girlfriend. Anyhow…we ended up back together, and it was better than ever. He realized what he had lost when he pushed me away, and he did not ever want to feel that way again. We went out with friends, we stayed in, we went on trips, and we did family things with my girls. Just like before.
We discussed marriage. He was going to get me a ring. Once I had one or two more girls off to college, we would live together. I am not the type of person who now had to bring this up every day. We talked about it on occasion, both comfortable that we wanted the same things.
Although he never knew, and likely never will, I had it in the back of my mind that if he had not given me a ring by December 31, 2015, I was ending the relationship. Because I figured after that, all I could expect was a different set of conditions. ‘Your kids are grown and gone, but now I want to spend time with my grandkids, and you don’t have any of your own.”
Yes; he could have said that without even blinking an eye, and I would not have blinked an eye that he had the nerve to say it.
Harsh? I do not think so. I think 8 years is more than enough time to wait for him to make a real commitment to me that he did indeed want to spend the rest of his life with me.
Anyone who feels the need to think that it was all about the ring; forget it. I can buy my own ring. I take care of my girls without any child support or help from the state. I do not need a man to take care of me. I want a man to share my life with, period. Not their house, their money, or their vehicles. I have all of those things already Thank-You-Very-Much.
So now I have been single for over a month, and am still angry that I never really had the chance to tell him all of these things. I feel like he ran as soon as he saw an opportunity, and I never meant enough to him to even be allowed to have a bad day. I did not get the closure I feel I needed. He is still a great guy, we just want different things. I would only wish the very best for him, but more than that, I need to make sure I have the very best for me. I do not hate him, and I do not wish him ill. It takes as much energy to be angry at or hate someone as it does to love them. Probably more, actually.
If he could not handle me on my worst day, he will never get to enjoy me on my best day.
I have a lot to offer someone, and I know that God will put the right person in my life at the right time. Patience is a virtue, and I am willing to wait for that best relationship ever!
I did already make it very clear to my homeschooler that she will be doing a report and presentation on this trip for her Social Studies class. Brownie points never hurt 🙂
We saw a lot of amazing things at the Presidential Museum and Library yesterday, and did also tour the Lincoln home. Some of the things we did yesterday are below. We also visited Lincoln’s New Salem today, as well as a local zoo. That post should be up tomorrow.
We are leaving tomorrow so I have a 6-7 hour drive back home; it is also possible that absolutely nothing will get done once I make that drive!
Day one went fairly well, we visited Lincoln’s Tomb (I may have to visit again before I leave!) and we are going to the Presidential Museum and Library today. We had to make sure we all rubbed Abraham’s nose 🙂
The crowds should start arriving today, and other than some minor issues of getting lost (dead phones, sketchy maps) we managed to get around fairly easy yesterday. By Tomorrow, I expect it to be wall-to-wall people, everywhere. Which is why I did not make an itinerary to try to stick to and stress myself out 🙂