anger

All posts tagged anger

I don’t Know What the Hell I Expected…

Published November 15, 2017 by Angela

…eventually going to bed at 3:30 pm in the afternoon will have me waking up for my day before 1 am… still not sorry though

Monday I went to bed at 3:30 pm, and basically slept all the way through until 4 am Tuesday morning. I got up periodically for the obligatory check the teenager, feed the cats, hack my lungs up, and drink water thanks to the 4 week old scratchy throat that won’t go away.

It worked so well Monday, I figured I would try it Tuesday. Now it is Wednesday and I have been up since 12:something am. Still feeling good, but things may start to get ugly this afternoon. Now the dilemma is, go to church tonight, be extremely tired and likely not very pleasant, or stay home and do my best to NOT go to bed before 8 pm. It’s all up in the air. I will have to see how my day progresses.

And this has got to be the shittiest thing about depression…not wanting to do one single thing, and not caring that you don’t.

If it ain't one thing meme image

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Waking Up Angry at the World…

Published July 12, 2017 by Angela

…or at least, everything in my small section of the world. I have been sleeping like crap, which is to be expected at day 6 of my journey to health. Honestly, I have been sleeping like crap for about 15 years, but now it just pisses me off way more than usual.

I am in such a foul mood that I can barely stand myself 😦 How bad is that? I can’t pinpoint one thing that has brought this on, but it certainly seems like many tiny, tiny little issues are just fueling the fires.

If I did not have meetings this afternoon, I would be at home, locked in my bedroom, safe from losing it on some poor innocent, unwitting person. Like my kids…..

Good Grief tomorrow had better NOT be like this….

 

Hello Monday; You Beautiful, Chaotic, Usually Most Hated Day of the Week!

Published July 10, 2017 by Angela

Day 4 is starting out good, considering I could not get to sleep last night, and did not want to get up this morning. I did so much yesterday, I feel like doing absolutely nothing today other than getting my work day done.

I have been going from having bursts of energy and feeling great, to flipping right to feeling depressed, angry, and wanting to do nothing but stay in bed all day. I am hoping as the days progress, and my body starts healing, this will happen less.

What I know more than anything is that I cannot have another setback. I do not ever want to feel like I felt two days ago. I keep going through this time-after-time, and I am truly and finally fed up with it. I know it will be tough, and a huge struggle, but I also know I can do this!

Patience meme

Patience is key. Patience is what I do not, and have never, had. This could be the toughest obstacle for me. I can get angry in the blink of an eye. I am not proud of it, but I certainly won’t sugar-coat it either.

angry meme

What do you do when you get fed up and prefer to not completely lose it on the person standing nearest to you?

When Is It Okay To Tell Someone They Are Being Ignorant?

Published March 5, 2016 by Angela

Is it ever okay?

If you say it nicely does that make it okay?

Do you just spit it out because it really needs to be brought to their attention?

Or is it only okay when said ignorance puts that person or others in danger?

I have been at a high frustration level all week, and today literally took the cake, and every other dessert right along with it.

I believe in kindness first, even with those who are not kind to me. 

But everyone has their limits, and I am pretty sure mine has been exceeded today. 

My Facebook friends list has been so thoroughly and systematically cleaned out they may force me to shut it down for lack of friends😉

Do you let it get the best of you, or you just say what needs to be said, and sleep better at night?

  

If You Could Smack Someone Upside the Head with No Consequences, Who Would You Smack?

Published May 31, 2015 by Angela

See? You had a person in mind, didn’t you? Immediately, there is one person who came to mind. You would love to just box their ears and be able to walk away. They wouldn’t be mad, and you wouldn’t get in trouble.

I, too, have such a person. A person who has went out of their way to try to irritate me, get under my skin, and make me upset. For such a long time that it got old years ago.

Really; who does this to other people? Who does this to other people and gets so much enjoyment from it? What type of person is so low on self-esteem that the only way they can feel good about themselves is to tear other people down?

Yeah; I have that person in my life. I bet you do as well.

Do you wonder what makes them tick? And even more than that, do you wonder what you can do to get back at them?

I do. Every day. Every. Single. Day. I recently told someone that I know God put this person in my life to test me, and make me a better person. But when is He going to make them be a better person?

It gets painful always turning the other cheek. Especially when you get smacked every time you do.

So just take a minute, close your eyes, and imagine smacking that person upside their cinder-block-head, walking away, and no repercussions.

Do you feel better now?

I know I do 🙂

Barely Into Day 3 of 2015, and I’ve Lost My Motivation!

Published January 3, 2015 by Angela

This is my last full day of my Christmas break without my girls, as they are coming home tomorrow morning. I had a very long day yesterday which included lots of traveling to see my Granny who is in a nursing home and suffering from dementia (she had no clue who I was, but I was so happy to see her, even though it broke my heart to see her like that).

Christmas 2014 and Dads 1-2-2015 005

I also made a pit-stop to my parents, who were fighting like normal, and also why I have not had an overnight visit with them in over 3 years. They have been married over 51 years, but to keep a very long story short, my Mom has numerous issues that have alienated her 4 children, husband, and brother from her. Alcoholism plus mental illness does not a loving mother make. What is does make, however, is a Mother who sees no problem with calling her own children, and grandchildren, horrible names that I would not even think about typing out. And that’s just how she starts a visit off; then it goes downhill from there.

Christmas 2014 and Dads 1-2-2015 041

I got to spend some time with my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew as well as my aunt and uncle. My busy schedule limits my being able to make these road trips to visit, so I was grateful to be able to do so yesterday.

And now there is a storm bearing down on Michigan, and pretty much the entire Eastern side of the U.S. It is still only snow right now (I am in West Michigan, less than 10 minutes from Lake Michigan) but will be turning to rain and freezing rain, and doing that and snowing at least until next Friday.

So I got the groceries I needed before my girls come home, and I really need to get the Christmas tree taken down. I’m pretty sure that will not be happening today. Besides that, I have a couple book reviews to get written and posted, two books to finish, and a cat that is in desperate need of some serious ear scratching since I left him alone more in the past 24 hours than I have ever left him in the 7 months I have had him.

Benny Christmas Eve 12-24-2014 006

Are you in the line of some of this horrible weather moving across the country? How are you going to spend your time? Wishing you warmth and happiness whether you are going out to enjoy it, or staying in to avoid it!

What In The World Is Wrong With Us?

Published December 24, 2014 by Angela

All of us…I have heard nothing for the past several weeks except death, violence, protests, shootings, killings, vengeance, and hate.

How can anyone be in the Christmas spirit when they cannot even turn on the news or radio without having to hear about another person shot, another person killing the innocent, another person fighting the system? What system exactly has caused all of this violence? Possibly the system of we as Americans, and as a Country, that can no longer stand together and support those we voted into office. Instead of supporting those in charge, we now feel it is our right, duty, and obligation to tear down, embarrass, harass, and humiliate anyone and everyone who does not agree with our own personal thoughts and beliefs.

As my most favorite President said, “A House divided against itself cannot stand.” No other President may have ever spoken wiser words. I am sure Mr. Abraham Lincoln is hanging his head in sorrow today.

Casting Crowns Lyrics

And that, my Friends, is the end of my ranting. My girls and myself are going to have a wonderful Christmas, and focus on everything we have been blessed with. If that means listening to Christmas Music on CD’s and watching movies on DVD’s, so be it. I for one am tuning out the rest of the world until December 26th. If something happens before then that I should be aware of, I am sure I will be made aware of it.

May each and every one of you have a wonderful, Blessed Christmas full of Peace and Joy!