dating

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My Own Personal Stalker – 49 Days and Counting…

Published August 21, 2015 by Angela

Day 49: So now my 4 girls are fully invested, and the stalker is doing everything possible to make sure they like him. They like him. I complain about being suffocated, and my girls are concerned I am going to hurt him.

Day 47: I am looking at a major investment: he is planning our house together.

Day 46: I tell him he needs to SLOW DOWN. I need space. He agrees.

Day 44: I wake up at 3:30am to a message about how I have changed his life and he will love me forever and a day.

Day 44 later: I tell him we discussed this, and he was going to slow down.

Day 43: He gets mad at me because I will not let him sleep over. I blame my 17 year old, but honestly, I cannot sleep with him in my bed pawing me all night. (I do NOT sleep good: no one gets to sleep in my bed).

Day 41: I am asked how many bedrooms I need in a house. “One. Just one. With a twin bed. And a library.” Oh, and maybe a room for all of my nekkid kittys…

to be continued, and I am not a horrible person, even though I know you think it right now.

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How To Get Your Own Personal Stalker!

Published August 19, 2015 by Angela

I will be as humorous as I can here, but dating a person for 2 months has completely turned me against ever being in a relationship again. EVER. I will be 43 years old next week, and I want nothing more than to be left alone with no one touching me or asking me for anything.

And now I will clarify that, because I am not the Ice Queen; unemotional, and lacking in feelings.

So, here we go…

60 days ago: I ask out someone I know, kind of, and worked with, kind of, and knew he was on a list for a heart transplant.

59 days ago: I am on my way home from work, I ordered pizza and I will pick you up on my way home.

59 days ago, later: I pick you up. We have never had a serious conversation, but you come out the door with flowers and lean towards me to kiss me….WTF? Your whole family is right there watching, is there some kind of conversation going on behind the scene that I am never privy to?

56 days ago: I am getting random messages at all weird hours of the night. And wake up to FB posts where you high-jacked my blog pictures and are declaring your love to me for all of our 800 friends to see.

56 days ago: I tell you to knock it to hell off. I need space. I like to crawl into bed and stay there for days at a time. I love my cat. I LOVE MY CAT. This is the only man who will ever own my heart again. (Okay, and how flipping awesome is he, anyhow?)

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53 days ago: All is quiet, for a bit. But I am making excuses to not see this guy, but how can I be the person to dump the guy with the defective heart waiting for a transplant? Everyone loves him.

52 days ago: He tells me the last girl he dated told him he deserves to dies alone. I was mad at the time. Now I understand.

50 days ago: He wants to go to church with me, because church is my #1. Yet he has never been to church. He has no idea if I am Catholic, Christian, Mormon, or anything else….

And there is more to come tomorrow. Stay tuned, I will let you know how to get rid of a stalker asap!

If I Knew That Was All it Took, I Would Have Done it Sooner

Published May 22, 2015 by Angela

I should have done it sooner.

After surviving what was a very depressing, cold winter here in West Michigan, I was anxiously looking forward to Easter, and spring, a vacation to Illinois, and a summer full of plans.

And then life happened. Or I happened. I had a bad day. Okay; a really bad day. I yelled at my boyfriend of 8 years, and said some mean (although easily forgivable), things to him. Apparently that was all it took for him to call it quits.

Wait. WHAT?

Yes. Which leads me to believe he was looking for a reason to call it quits, and as weak as this one was, he jumped at it, snatched it up, and took off running.

So let me go back and explain some things about this 8 year relationship. It was a good relationship. We have probably had about 7 or 8 arguments in that time frame. Literally. We NEVER fought. There was nothing to fight about. We went out with friends, we stayed in, we went on trips, and we did family things with my girls. We had the same interests, but while his children were adults, mine were still young.

And he already raised his kids. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I heard that…”I already raised my kids, I don’t want to do it again.”

Anyone who ever says that to me again will regret it. Instantly, and painfully so.

And I accepted it. I told myself; “It’s okay, you can raise these girls alone, without a father figure in the home, or in their life. When they grow up and move out, then we can get married.”

Yes, I am was that girl.

We took a break a couple years ago. Well, let’s be honest here: he had a lot of things going on in his life, and just kept pulling further and further away from me. He needed time. I could not stand being ignored, pushed away, and left out of the things he was doing. I was officially single.

I got a boyfriend. He was furious and would not acknowledge me when he saw me.

Wait. WHAT?

This is what he wanted. He needed time, he didn’t need a girlfriend. Anyhow…we ended up back together, and it was better than ever. He realized what he had lost when he pushed me away, and he did not ever want to feel that way again. We went out with friends, we stayed in, we went on trips, and we did family things with my girls. Just like before.

We discussed marriage. He was going to get me a ring. Once I had one or two more girls off to college, we would live together. I am not the type of person who now had to bring this up every day. We talked about it on occasion, both comfortable that we wanted the same things.

Although he never knew, and likely never will, I had it in the back of my mind that if he had not given me a ring by December 31, 2015, I was ending the relationship. Because I figured after that, all I could expect was a different set of conditions. ‘Your kids are grown and gone, but now I want to spend time with my grandkids, and you don’t have any of your own.”

Yes; he could have said that without even blinking an eye, and I would not have blinked an eye that he had the nerve to say it.

Harsh? I do not think so. I think 8 years is more than enough time to wait for him to make a real commitment to me that he did indeed want to spend the rest of his life with me.

Anyone who feels the need to think that it was all about the ring; forget it. I can buy my own ring. I take care of my girls without any child support or help from the state. I do not need a man to take care of me. I want a man to share my life with, period. Not their house, their money, or their vehicles. I have all of those things already Thank-You-Very-Much.

So now I have been single for over a month, and am still angry that I never really had the chance to tell him all of these things. I feel like he ran as soon as he saw an opportunity, and I never meant enough to him to even be allowed to have a bad day. I did not get the closure I feel I needed. He is still a great guy, we just want different things. I would only wish the very best for him, but more than that, I need to make sure I have the very best for me. I do not hate him, and I do not wish him ill. It takes as much energy to be angry at or hate someone as it does to love them. Probably more, actually.

If he could not handle me on my worst day, he will never get to enjoy me on my best day.

I have a lot to offer someone, and I know that God will put the right person in my life at the right time. Patience is a virtue, and I am willing to wait for that best relationship ever!