single parenting

All posts tagged single parenting

When There Is Nowhere To Turn…

Published October 10, 2014 by Angela

…there is always one place I can, and do, still turn. That is to my faith, my God, and my Savior. Sometimes that is the only place I can turn, and I am okay with that. That is where I get my strength, courage, and peace of mind. Some days that is the only place I can turn, and even on the days when I do not feel a pressing need to turn to my faith, I still do; to say Thank You. Thank you for my children, my health, my job, a warm home, and the means to support my girls and myself on my own.

So after great accomplishments and gains, I again saw this on my 13 year olds arm today:

Why this again? :-(

Why this again? 😦

She says it has been a year, and I believe her, but why now? She said it was because she couldn’t yell at anyone?

What?
Wait. WHAT?
Does she not think I would rather her yell at someone, myself included, then intentionally hurt herself? We go through this, and get her help, and she takes her medication, but still turns back to this to make herself feel better.

It hurts me that she will hurt herself, and I am so helpless to help her. I have tried everything, times 3, and well beyond.

This is what turns me to my faith. I wish she would start turning to her faith as well.

A Failure to Communicate on Your Part…

Published June 6, 2014 by Angela

Does not make the situation an emergency to me.

I am constantly asking my girls to let me know things that involve me as soon as they learn about them. I could not even begin to count how many times I find things out, sometimes hours before I am supposed to be somewhere, doing something, that I was unknowingly volunteered for. My payback right after my 16 year old did this to me? I let her know Saturday morning that we had a surprise Birthday party to be at in 3 hours. What was her response?

“I hate finding things out at the last minute!”

WHAT?

So I told her “Surprise!”

Last night at 10 pm, while I am at work, I get a text message from said 16 year old letting me know my 9 year old needs plates and cups for school the next morning.

“For what?” I asked.

“A surprise party.” she texts.

“Was I supposed to be surprised too, because this is the first I have heard about this?” UGH.

So, I get to do my least favorite thing I could possibly do after work. Go to Wal-Mart. There is never, EVER, a good time to be in Wal-Mart.

So as I am rushing through the store, trying to get her the 50 cups and 50 plates she needs (Which all the cups came back and only a couple plates got used; the rest of those came back as well 😦 ) she is ringing my cell off the hook.

“What is the issue?” I asked her.

Her friend was leaving and could I bring the plates and cups to school? Um, no. You do not need to leave for school yet, and if you do not wait, I will not drop them off. Your friend can wait.

So I get home, and she is gone. I call her friends house, and yes indeed, they already left. So like the push-over Mom that I am, I take the damn things to school and track her down, letting her know she is grounded for the weekend. I didn’t want the teachers to have to scramble to come up with plates and cups because my child had an irresponsible moment. I am so glad I completely stressed myself out, so they could use 7 plates.

And how has your Friday been?

When There Is Not Enough Time In Your Day

Published May 1, 2014 by Angela

I saw an interesting post yesterday, about how if you do not have enough time to do whatever it is you are doing, you are likely doing the wrong thing, or at least doing it in the wrong way. I have been feeling this for the past couple of weeks. Church activities have wound down now that Easter is over, but I have been busier than ever. My 16 year old is just about done with drivers training, thank goodness, because this is 4 days a week that I have to get up earlier than normal. So I am more tired than normal. I have worked two 12 hour days in a row due to a supervisor being on vacation, so I feel like nothing at home is getting done. And, I have a class winding down, so I am working on a graduate research paper, instead of procrastinating like I normally do and waiting until the last minute.

So could I be doing things differently to have more time? Probably not this week, or the next. But I do have a tendency to get myself involved in more things than my schedule allows, and I need to learn how to say no.

Case in point? I got a phone call yesterday to remind me to have my 9 year old at church at 5:30pm today to practice singing for the Mother’s Day church service. So I got up early, got ready for the day, dropped off 16 year old at drivers training, and went home. I went back and got daughter at 7pm, walked in the door, and realized I completely forgot about the practice tonight. I feel terrible because I know they were counting on her being there. I haven’t even called yet to explain my forgetfulness because I really don’t know what to say.

I need to prioritize, write things on my calendar, and take some time every day to relax, for my well-being and sanity!

How do you tend to overwhelm yourself, and what do you do to correct it?

Be Careful What You Ask For!

Published April 24, 2014 by Angela

For quite some time now, I have been praying for God to please help me with my patience. Okay. My lack of patience, which is generally a horrible problem for me. Most times I can cope fairly well, but when it is bad, it is really, really bad. When I seem to have 10 things to do and only time for 5, or I need to be in more than one place at the same time (this happens so much to me!), I get short on patience and long on anger.

 

Well of course I am going to have situations that test my patience, I keep asking God for just that thing. So since I am fully aware of what is going on, why can’t I deal with it better? Why can’t I take a deep breath, exhale, hold my tongue, and examine the situation for what it is? Take the situation in as a whole, divide it up into pieces, and work on one thing at a time, because that is really all any of us are capable of doing.

 

Instead, I immediately lose my patience, and Lord help anyone who is in the way of my words. I don’t yell or swear, but I certainly do not talk in a calm, helping manner. I feel mean, I feel upset that I can lose my cool that fast. I feel like this major character flaw I have is getting the best of me, at the worst of times. So, what do you do when you get exactly what you ask for?

 

Make the best of it. See it for what it is. An opportunity to improve, grow, change. To be a better you. To show a better you.

 

Don’t ask for something if you are not truly prepared to handle it. I am ready to handle it. In the worst situations, I can be at my best.

8th Grade Options

Published February 19, 2014 by Angela

Since Erin and I have been experiencing some difficulty with her homeschooling (it is beyond difficult getting her to complete her daily assignments, on a daily basis) I am looking into a virtual school for 8th grade. I think this type of set schedule will definitely keep her on pace better than I have been able to, and the social aspect will definitely help her. She certainly isn’t entirely to blame for this; I seem to be a poor motivator (threatener, punisher, reward-giver, and whatever else I have tried).

I can enroll her in March, and as I know she is not ready to go back to public school at this point, I think this is the best option for both of us. I am working on my Master’s degree, online, and will be for a couple of years. I think her being in the same school-type environment as I am will be good for her.

Have you done a virtual school for your child/children? Did it work for them?