I am seeing a pattern. And I am not liking it. I seem to be spending more time going through my 8th grader’s homeschooling work, checking her calendar, making sure she has her schedule for the day, etc. etc. You probably know the drill.
But I am not seeing her put forth the same amount of effort as I am. I do not know what else to do to motivate her, but I am fast running out of ideas.
I either need better bribes, or better punishments 🙂
and how is your week going?
Having 3 children each 3 years apart will probably be a blessing in the years to come, but they are certainly spaced out at the ages right now (16, 13, 10) to ensure that they will not ever get along, on any given day.
I have been listening to arguing for the past 3 days over rubber bands. Bracelet loom rubber bands. You know the ones I mean, right? I have rubber-band bracelets laying around in every room of my house. The girls have 3 large containers (large!) full of these tiny little rubber bands. Not to mention the ones I am picking up all over my floors.
Said 10 year old got a new loom for her birthday on Friday (yes, I knew better than to buy another one, but I did anyhow). Somehow, the rubber bands that they have all been sharing now have separate owners, and one will not share with the other.
I know, I know! Just take them away. I seem to be buying rubber bands on a bi-weekly basis, and I do not recall ever buying these and handing them to one child and saying “Here. These are your rubber bands. You don’t need to share them.” I am pretty sure that I have always encouraged my girls to share, yet I seem to have daily battles over the most ridiculous things. I am trying to not get to the point where I point out the true fact that “All of those rubber bands, and looms, belong to me. I bought them. I went to work to earn the money to pay for them.” Because then I would be acting just like they are 🙂
So today I choose to pick my battles, and this is not going to be one of them. They can fight this one out themselves.
…there is nothing better. There are no words. I cannot recall the last time that I actually had the house to myself. With my oldest daughter (FINALLY) home after 6 weeks in South Africa, she has a week off from work to get back on the United States schedule 🙂
So she picked up her 3 younger sisters, took them to the beach for the day, to both of her Grandma’s houses, McDonald’s, and peace and quiet for Mom.
They are walking in the door right now, and the silence is no more.
But it was amazing having a couple of hours of no talking, no television, to fighting, and no asking me for anything.
Thanks Jess, you are the best! And can we do this again tomorrow?
…to me!
Yes, I am serious. I told my girls they should be getting me something for Father’s Day, since I have been both Mother and Father for the past 8 years. They must have thought I was joking. I was not joking.
Just to let you know, before anyone thinks I am disrespecting any Single or divorced dads, I am not. My ex does not come to see his children. Ever. He does not buy them birthday gifts. He does not call them on their birthdays. Or Christmas. Easter? Never. He actually saw them 2 Easters ago when I was going out of state for a week. I told him 3 months ahead of time that he would have to get them their Easter stuff. And I kept reminding him. Again, and again. And again.
When I picked them up, after Easter was over, (yes, I had to drop them off and pick them up), they let me know they got nothing for Easter. What did he tell them? The house was too crowded with them there so the Easter bunny did not have room to leave their Easter baskets.
Let me be clear on the fact that 2 of these girls are long past believing in the Easter bunny. So what could they have possibly thought, and worse yet, how horrible could that have made them feel?
So yes, I am the Father to them.
And on that note, I am wishing my father a wonderful day; I tried calling several times and he was either gone or the phone was busy (he does not live near me).
And I wish all of the Fathers out there who are really truly fathers a wonderful day as well. It is not easy being a parent. Whether you are the mother, or the father.
It certainly is not easy having to be both 😦
…it is up to you to change it. No one can do it for you. Change can be scary, no matter how old you get and how much life experience you have. You need to do what is going to make you happy. Others may get hurt along the way. If you are making the choices you need to make to live a happy life, the ones who truly love you will not be upset with your decisions.
Sometimes it is nice to get advice and support from others, instead of being the one to give advice and support. Even the strongest people on the outside have a weak spot on the inside.
As another of my girls moves into the “teenage” years (Happy 13th Birthday Erin Elizabeth!), I am really starting to examine where I want my life to go, where I want to end up, and what I need to do to get there.
Sometimes behind every strong woman is no one to give them the support and encouragement they want and need. Feeling like you are really, truly alone of this journey called life can be painful for even the strongest of people.
Today I am going to do the one thing I try to not do with my kids…
…bribe them with something to get them to do what I ask them to.
Oh, who am I kidding? I do this ALL the time!Â
I have to get up early to get 16 year old to dentist appointment (that was cancelled on Monday after I had adjusted my sleep and work schedule, of course) and then I have to do homework, take care of the animals, and be at a friends house by 8pm.
So, I am leaving them a note that if they clean the house (to MY standards, not theirs) I will buy them dinner tonight.
1) I will not likely have time to cook
2) There is really nothing in the house to make a decent meal with
3) I am 99% sure my house will be cleaned, when I get up, to my standards
And that, my friends, makes me a happy Mom. I see Subway in my very near future 🙂
…as soon as I figure out what that is. I have begun to bargain with my girls that if they want to go places and do things, they need to earn it.
Apparently not a single one of them has an issue with spending their entire Summer in the house.
So, hopefully while I am working tonight, I will get a brilliant idea to end all ideas, and they will start participating in being a self-sustaining member of this family!
Do you have a method that works during the summer months? Let me know, I could desperately use all the ideas I can get ahold of. They are very determined girls!
The first official full day of Summer vacation for my girls. So I am putting in the ear plugs, putting on the eye mask, taking some ZzzzQuil ( 🙂 ) grabbing my naked kitty, and going to bed for the day. Keeping my fingers crossed for a house that looks at 2pm the way it looks now at 4am (or even better, which would be So awesome!).
…but when do I get to take a break?
I explained to my girls Thursday night, that once they are out of school (which they now are), there is not any reason in the world that I should have to get up and:
1) empty the dishwasher
2) fill the dishwasher
3) pick up their stuff they leave all over the house
4) cook them dinner
5) tell them to do any of the above, after I get up.
Which is exactly what I had to do Friday when I got up. Now I do not expect them to cook dinner every single night. But they are 16, 13, and 9. They are more than capable of making spaghetti, grilled cheese, cheeseburgers, etc. I do not eat dinner with them. I should say while they are eating dinner, I am eating a bowl of cereal with a banana. So I really do not have a whole lot of motivation to cook dinner for 3 girls when at least one of them is going to say they don’t like/want it, and I am not even going to eat it anyway.
So, here is hoping for a smoother start next week as we move into the noisy summer months where everyone in the neighborhood feels the need to gather outside, under my bedroom windows, and be loud so I cannot get enough sleep to work 3rd shift without feeling exhausted.
Try the park down the road kids. Or the neighbors.
No, not that neighbor. She works 3rd shift too.
The other neighbor.
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