single mom

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When Did “No” Stop Meaning No?

Published December 17, 2013 by Angela

I know when.

When I stopped making it mean “No.”

When I said “No” and changed my mind later.

When I was too tired to argue with my kids.

 When I was too tired to listen to my kids argue with each other.

When I got sick of listening to my kids whine because they were told “No.”

 When I felt bad for one of my kids for one of any number of reasons and let them have their way.

When I was mad at myself for something I said or did.

When I was mad at myself for something I didn’t say or do, and should have.

There are just some days when I do not have it in me to deal with the whining, bickering, arguing, and crying. There are days when 3 girls, all 3 years apart, can shut themselves in one bedroom and get along so well that I would never even know they are in the house. Then there are days when I literally cannot walk up the stairs, and into the bathroom, without them beginning to argue. I cannot take a shower without someone putting their hands on someone else. I cannot walk into the kitchen to cook dinner without a yelling match breaking out in the living room.

The closer it gets to Christmas; the worse they are behaving.

The closer it gets to Christmas; the less patience I have for it. I mean this is when they are supposed to be all sunshine and roses, right? On their best behavior for Santa, right? Except only one of them may still believe in Santa, and I honestly will be glad when I know for sure that the ruse is up!

So I do take full responsibility for not making “No” mean “No”. Of course they are going to keep bugging me; it always worked before. At some point I have got to make what I say mean what it is supposed to mean, and that will have to be over Christmas break. At the beginning of January I will begin classes for my MBA, so any semblance I have had of peace and free time will be non-existent.

Attitudes can be adjusted, (including mine!!!) but it will take lots of willpower, patience, and positive reinforcement on my part, and cooperation on my children’s part. It will be an experiment in the making, but I am excited to work on it, and fine-tune it, to be able to enjoy the final results, eventually. I will rely on my Faith, and pray often, with my girls, and hope that my positive attitude will set an example for them to have a positive attitude!

I Can’t Pick Up After You Forever

Published December 9, 2013 by Angela

5:45 am-

15 y.o.: Mom, where’s my “To Kill A Mockingbird Book?”

Me: In your bag

15 y.o.: No, it isn’t

Me: Well the last time I saw it, it was halfway under the sofa because it fell out of your book bag that you dropped in the middle of the living room floor for everyone to trip over.

15 y.o.: I can’t find it

Me: Well, I would move the sofa out. Your sister hung up your book bag for me and I told her to put your book in it.

No Luck…. I didn’t tell her I have a copy of it in the bookshelf in the basement.

I can’t get mad at her messiness, because I know I was the exact same way. But it seems like every day I am playing Sherlock Holmes, looking for school books, homework, socks, and toys.

Toys. Toys I don’t even remember them having and certainly didn’t play with 🙂 Toys they try to describe to me and I do not understand. I know for a fact 2 of the three have brand new school clothes floating around this house somewhere, still with the tags on and never worn! Because I ask them where it is and they don’t know.

What I should do is find the stuff myself and wrap it up as Christmas gifts 🙂

When did I become so old? LOL

I completely understand why my Dad went through my bedroom every month while I was growing up, with a garbage bag, and threw out everything on the floor. The only difference between he and I though, is that he would never replace something he threw away because of my messiness. (Yes, I have thrown stuff out, only to buy it again, and I am fully ashamed to say that!)

Nothing in the world is truer than this!

Nothing in the world is truer than this!

As I complain (sarcastically) I am very lucky to have 3 awesome girls still at home (4 awesome girls, one being a Junior in college). They do very well when asked to do something for me, but I swear to goodness I will never, ever know how after a pair of socks are worn once, its mate is never-to-be-seen again!

Do you have any special tricks to get your kids to be organized?

When Did We Become So Mean?

Published December 8, 2013 by Angela

Since I have been up for hours (it is currently 5:45am) as is normal for me on weekends that I don’t work, I figured I would watch “The Sound of Music” which was shown live Thursday on NBC. Did I want to watch it? Not particularly. But the aftermath that went on from this live version really had me wondering “How bad could it really be?” So I had to see for myself.

I am not an actress; I have never been, or wanted to be. I have never been in a school play, a production of any kind, and the most I got in front of a crowd was for band concerts, one invisible kid in a crowd of kids. So I am not going to make any comments of what I feel the quality of the acting that happened during this LIVE performance was. And I will not write the names here of the previous actresses whom acted in the original movie version with Julie Andrews, as the various children in the movie. They do not deserve mention, and should wholly be ashamed of themselves.

What I would like to know, is exactly how many takes each one of their scenes took, because every single time they made a mistake, someone said “Cut!” and they got to go back and fix it. Time after time. After time. How would they have done live? Probably not so hot. But they would not have gotten bullied while they were continuing to act live on a stage knowing the whole world was waiting for them to fail. Hoping for them to fail.

“How dare you try to play a role Julie Andrews played!” “Almost painful to watch!” Really? Painful? What is painful is reading comments from a couple has-beens who are sitting behind an electronic device giving criticism on a role they never had to perform. I agree with Carrie Underwood that these critics need Jesus. Boy do they ever. They need a lot more than that. Would putting them on the other side of the fence make them understand? Not likely. Most bullies do not ever believe they have done anything wrong. Not all, but a lot.

Am I a fan of Carrie Underwood’s? No, I am not. I think she has an amazing voice (I can’t carry a tune in a bucket!) but I do not like country music. I am familiar with some of her songs; they are catchy and good, but I haven’t heard a song yet that has me going to the store to buy her CD. But that doesn’t mean I wish her to fail.

As a parent of a child who suffered through 3 years of terrible bullying before finally telling me the whole truth of what was happening to her, to what I went through for 3 years fighting with a young girl every single day to go to school; being threatened with court, jail, and fines; to having a homeschooler who is calm, content, and successful, I have to say, this display of public bullying really, REALLY pisses me off. (I just had to erase what I typed after that because it was not what Jesus would say, and I will not allow someone to turn ME into a bully too!)

I understand we live in a world of instant information, and I still can’t say that I think this is a great thing. When I was growing up, I could go home, not answer the phone, did not have a computer or cell phone going off non-stop, and could have peace and quiet. Now our children can be harassed 24 hours a day, and it is a very difficult thing to stop.

We can all be better people, and make better examples for others. We can each make a positive difference, if we choose to. Or we can be part of the problem.

Be a friend, not the enemy.

I want to be part of the solution. Who’s with me?

I hope I made the Right Decision!

Published December 3, 2013 by Angela

Ordering my next set of textbooks to start on my next college degree came with mixed emotions.

I am excited to begin working on my Master’s Degree, and sad that I will lose the little bit of free time I had. I am excited to be learning new things again, and worried I will get stressed out.

So here’s to taking it one class at a time, and before I know it, I will be finished like I was with the last 2 degrees.

My kids think I’ve lost my mind; I think they may be right 🙂 Here’s to never-ending education!

 

 

I have to be honest, it is a pet peeve of mine :-)

I have to be honest, it is a pet peeve of mine 🙂

I Thought This Would Be More Fun

Published November 27, 2013 by Angela

Having 8 full days off from work after working 19 straight, what could be better? I have plenty of time to spend with my girls, do some extra cleaning, organize, get out the Christmas decorations, read what I want, and watch mindless television, which is something I no longer take for granted 🙂

What is really going on? OK, I am watching mindless television, but I am also not sleeping, my stomach is very angry with me, along with the rest of my body for messing with its schedule, and this in turn has made me less than pleasant. Everything I attempt to do seems to be bound for failure before I even get started, and my patience is being tested. I laugh at myself because I always ask God to give me more patience, which means God is going to give me situations to test my patience. If I would quit asking for more patience, maybe I wouldn’t be tested and things would go more smoothly for me 🙂

So although I am grateful for my time off to get caught up on things, I would really rather be working my 3rd shift schedule, sleeping when my body has been sleeping for the past year and a half, eating at 2am instead of noon (and feeling sick because of it), and being in a better mood. It is currently 3:15 am and I have been awake for a couple hours, doing laundry and cleaning 🙂

Today I get to make 2 pumpkin pies, and some mint-chocolate brownies. I am super-excited for Thanksgiving tomorrow, and just hope that I can feel top-notch and as awake as everyone else when normally I should be sleeping.

I guess the best thing is, everyone takes a nap after Thanksgiving dinner, right?

I really truly am grateful for all I have been blessed with, and am thankful to have a warm house to be awake in, with plenty of food for my girls and myself, our health, a wonderful job, and a strong faith. God has been good to me, and nothing can change the feeling that gives me in my heart! More on that tomorrow!

 

 

 

Even when all those feelings are Happy feelings!

Even when all those feelings are Happy feelings!