single parent

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Happy Father’s Day…

Published June 16, 2014 by Angela

…to me!

Yes, I am serious. I told my girls they should be getting me something for Father’s Day, since I have been both Mother and Father for the past 8 years. They must have thought I was joking. I was not joking.

Just to let you know, before anyone thinks I am disrespecting any Single or divorced dads, I am not. My ex does not come to see his children. Ever. He does not buy them birthday gifts. He does not call them on their birthdays. Or Christmas. Easter? Never. He actually saw them 2 Easters ago when I was going out of state for a week. I told him 3 months ahead of time that he would have to get them their Easter stuff. And I kept reminding him. Again, and again. And again.

When I picked them up, after Easter was over, (yes, I had to drop them off and pick them up), they let me know they got nothing for Easter. What did he tell them? The house was too crowded with them there so the Easter bunny did not have room to leave their Easter baskets.

Let me be clear on the fact that 2 of these girls are long past believing in the Easter bunny. So what could they have possibly thought, and worse yet, how horrible could that have made them feel?

So yes, I am the Father to them.

And on that note, I am wishing my father a wonderful day; I tried calling several times and he was either gone or the phone was busy (he does not live near me).

And I wish all of the Fathers out there who are really truly fathers a wonderful day as well. It is not easy being a parent. Whether you are the mother, or the father.

It certainly is not easy having to be both 😦

When You Are Not Happy With Where You Are At In Your Life…

Published June 14, 2014 by Angela

…it is up to you to change it. No one can do it for you. Change can be scary, no matter how old you get and how much life experience you have. You need to do what is going to make you happy. Others may get hurt along the way. If you are making the choices you need to make to live a happy life, the ones who truly love you will not be upset with your decisions.

Sometimes it is nice to get advice and support from others, instead of being the one to give advice and support. Even the strongest people on the outside have a weak spot on the inside.

As another of my girls moves into the “teenage” years (Happy 13th Birthday Erin Elizabeth!), I am really starting to examine where I want my life to go, where I want to end up, and what I need to do to get there.

Sometimes behind every strong woman is no one to give them the support and encouragement they want and need. Feeling like you are really, truly alone of this journey called life can be painful for even the strongest of people.

Little Sleep Today, and Lots of Errands

Published June 12, 2014 by Angela

Today I am going to do the one thing I try to not do with my kids…

…bribe them with something to get them to do what I ask them to.

Oh, who am I kidding? I do this ALL the time! 

I have to get up early to get 16 year old to dentist appointment (that was cancelled on Monday after I had adjusted my sleep and work schedule, of course) and then I have to do homework, take care of the animals, and be at a friends house by 8pm.

So, I am leaving them a note that if they clean the house (to MY standards, not theirs) I will buy them dinner tonight.

1) I will not likely have time to cook

2) There is really nothing in the house to make a decent meal with

3) I am 99% sure my house will be cleaned, when I get up, to my standards

And that, my friends, makes me a happy Mom. I see Subway in my very near future 🙂

Time For Plan #2…

Published June 12, 2014 by Angela

…as soon as I figure out what that is. I have begun to bargain with my girls that if they want to go places and do things, they need to earn it.

Apparently not a single one of them has an issue with spending their entire Summer in the house.

So, hopefully while I am working tonight, I will get a brilliant idea to end all ideas, and they will start participating in being a self-sustaining member of this family!

Do you have a method that works during the summer months? Let me know, I could desperately use all the ideas I can get ahold of. They are very determined girls!

What Say We Try This Again Tomorrow…

Published June 11, 2014 by Angela

… and this time, you do things the right way?

Monday seemed to go much smoother than today did with school being over. I pretty much had the house cleaned Monday morning before I went to bed, so my girls really did not have to do a lot to keep it clean when I got up.

Now, there are a lot of little things that tend to irk me, but I have gotten much better at not getting worked up “over the little stuff“. But one thing that I absolutely do NOT like, is having people in my house, while I am sleeping, and I don’t know about it. If you ask me first, more often than not I will say “O.K.” But to wake up at 3pm to house guests? Not happy.

Now, I live in a house full of girls. Well, except for the 2 boy cats and the boy rabbit. But they don’t mind. So, I will not hesitate to get up, trudge downstairs in my pajamas, and get a cup of coffee.

Coming downstairs in my pajamas, to find my 16 year olds’ boyfriend sitting on my couch, not cool. Not cool at all. I am not talking about Victoria Secret inappropriate sleepwear, but either way, my legs showing, and no bra on, is not appropriate for house guests. So, I had to turn around, go back up to my room, and get dressed. So I could get a cup of coffee.

I had to get dressed. In order to get a cup of coffee. In my own house. Really? Really. 😦

The house was a mess, and nothing was done. The first thing my 16 year old says to me: “I thought you weren’t getting up until 4?”

Yeah, like me sleeping an hour longer would have allowed for the house to be cleaned.

So, I got ready for my day, cooked dinner for my girls and said house guest, filled the dishwasher, had company for an hour, did homework, and now I am waiting to go to work.

I am also waiting to see how long it is going to take my 16 year old to tell me her boyfriend needs a ride home. Because she is going to. (That is something else that really, really irks me), having to take said uninvited house guests home.

And how was your day?

Well Today is the Big Day!

Published June 9, 2014 by Angela

Well Today is the Big Day!

The first official full day of Summer vacation for my girls. So I am putting in the ear plugs, putting on the eye mask, taking some ZzzzQuil ( 🙂 ) grabbing my naked kitty, and going to bed for the day. Keeping my fingers crossed for a house that looks at 2pm the way it looks now at 4am (or even better, which would be So awesome!).

It May Be Summer Vacation For You…

Published June 7, 2014 by Angela

…but when do I get to take a break?

I explained to my girls Thursday night, that once they are out of school (which they now are), there is not any reason in the world that I should have to get up and:

1) empty the dishwasher

2) fill the dishwasher

3) pick up their stuff they leave all over the house

4) cook them dinner

5) tell them to do any of the above, after I get up.

Which is exactly what I had to do Friday when I got up. Now I do not expect them to cook dinner every single night. But they are 16, 13, and 9. They are more than capable of making spaghetti, grilled cheese, cheeseburgers, etc. I do not eat dinner with them. I should say while they are eating dinner, I am eating a bowl of cereal with a banana. So I really do not have a whole lot of motivation to cook dinner for 3 girls when at least one of them is going to say they don’t like/want it, and I am not even going to eat it anyway.

So, here is hoping for a smoother start next week as we move into the noisy summer months where everyone in the neighborhood feels the need to gather outside, under my bedroom windows, and be loud so I cannot get enough sleep to work 3rd shift without feeling exhausted.

Try the park down the road kids. Or the neighbors.

No, not that neighbor. She works 3rd shift too.

The other neighbor.

Express Yourself!

Published June 4, 2014 by Angela

I tend to be pretty lenient when it comes to what my girls do with their hair. I mean, they are the ones who have to walk around with whatever style they cut it, or color it. I learned it is much easier than fighting it. Because when I fight it:

1) One of them will shave half their head to the scalp while I am at work

2) They will see exactly how much peroxide really does bleach their hair

3) They will take all of the Kool-Aid from the cupboard and use it to die their hair

4) they will randomly cut chunks of hair off in such a manner that no haircut could hide or fix it

I figure, it could be much worse. Like me finding the box with the alcohol wipes, straight pins, and stud earrings in it that my 12 year old was going to use to pierce her own nose.

Hair choices? Yes. Random holes in their body that will likely get infected? No. I made it clear to all of them that they can just save themselves the time and pain because if I see it, it is coming out anyhow.

My 16 year old is bugging to get the cartilage in her ear pierced. I told her it hurts way too bad (yes I know from experience, more than once even), and I certainly hope she does not try to do that on her own.

What have your kids done that has shocked you? I don’t even know at this point if anything would shock me anymore 🙂

Hoping For A Change!

Published June 2, 2014 by Angela

Knowing that I absolutely love my job, and absolutely love my children, anyone who knows me knows that I could not be a stay-at-home Mom. Yes, some may think “Well, you never should of had kids then!”, but I was more than willing to support a stay-at-home husband and father to my kids. He was incapable of even doing that…
So, I have a new hope that a rumor I heard is true, and I will be having a change in my life sometime soon! I have something else to add to my daily list of prayers. I have had this hope before, but also know with absolute certainty that there is a reason things did not go the way I had hoped and wanted. Maybe it was because this time is going to be my moment!
So here’s to focusing on my family, my job, my church, and being happy. Because even though I tend to get blue now and again, things are really pretty great 🙂

Because I’m That Good, That’s Why!

Published June 2, 2014 by Angela

It is funny, and almost kind of scary, that I can tell what type of attitude my 16 year old has, through a text message. I asked a simple question, and she replied with a snotty answer. What did I do? I told her to lose the attitude!

“How do you know I have an attitude?”

“Because I am your Mom, and I can hear your voice and see the look on your face as I read your text messages!”

“Fair enough” she says.

Being rude through social media is not acceptable. You better talk to me electronically the same way you talk to me when we are in front of each other.

And Yes, I can also hear you roll your eyes, from the back of my head where I keep an extra set of eyes and ears!