raising teenage girls

All posts tagged raising teenage girls

Yes, Because I Am The Mom Really Is The Answer, and I Have Every Right To Say It…

Published November 13, 2014 by Angela

…if it stops a disagreement with a 16 year old teenage girl.

Pouting teenager

When my 16 year old daughter tells me that she has to be somewhere on Monday for tryouts to join yet another activity, I feel I have every right to ask why she is telling me, instead of asking me.

Her answer? “I have talked about this all summer long. You know I have.” ummmm, no I do not. I would remember one of my children wanting to do yet another activity that uses my money, gas and mileage on the car, and time dropping off and picking up.

Her reply again? “It is just one activity, and you have no problem with me taking care of your kids, so why can’t I do this one thing?”

WHOA. Back this train wreck up that you are about to have. I worked 3rd shift. So yes, she “took care of” her sisters while I was working. And they were all sleeping. Sorry for the difficulty.

And she keeps shoving her foot further into her mouth…”Why if I have the money to do this can you still tell me no?”

“BECAUSE I AM THE MOM.” Not to mention you do NOT have any money, you have no vehicle, and you have no job.

So Yes, that is why I get to say “Because I am your Mother and I said so” and you don’t get to do anything about it but mope around the house.

I am really getting beyond tired of the attitudes in this house full of girls, while I try to keep a positive attitude for my own well-being. I really wish my city would start putting Midol in the water supply…

Just In The Nick Of Time!

Published October 29, 2014 by Angela

We had pumpkin carving tonight for our Wednesday night church classes (WOW) Worship on Wednesday. This is the only way my girls were likely going to be carving pumpkins. I completely blew this task off last year, and am still being told a couple of them cried because of it. I hardly think so because 1) if they were crying about it, I would remember it, and 2) I am not that mean.

WOW Halloween Celebration 10-29-2014 023

So yeah, I do not like carving pumpkins. I did not really care for it when I was a kid, either. The only thing I dislike more than carving pumpkins is coloring Easter eggs. Yep; I can’t stand doing that either. But in my defense, every single Easter, I have 4 dozen colored eggs sitting in my refrigerator for weeks.

My two favorite holidays, and I dislike the two most popular things about those holidays 🙂

So now that that is over, I hope everyone has a safe, fun-filled Halloween. I am officially down to 1 child trick-or-treating, and since it is supposed to snow here in Michigan, by Friday I will be thinking that it is 1 too many!

Sometimes You Just Have To Let It Go…

Published October 21, 2014 by Angela

…and I hope to goodness you do not have that song stuck in your head for the rest of the night! If you do, I am sorry beyond apologies.

I can only fight with my girls for so long, before I need to let it go and let them be responsible for the consequences of their actions. Me trying to fix their mistakes will teach them nothing. Even if letting them make those mistakes is something I will pay for later.

And I will.

I always do.

But I cannot expect them to respect themselves for the decisions they make if I do not truly let them make those decisions.

So you want to ignore your homeschooling assignments for the day? Go ahead. But what are you going to do tomorrow? Or the next day? Or on the weekend when I have nothing better to do than to sit next to you in a chair and make sure you get your homeschooling work caught up?

Because I have nothing but time. Nothing but time on the weekends to read books and look over your shoulder while you do 5 days worth of work in two days. And rest assured, I will make sure you do it.

Doing It Old-School, Kind Of…

Published October 20, 2014 by Angela

…Erin was not very happy yesterday with the you-don’t-go-to-confirmation-classes-no-laptop rule. She was literally up about an hour before she asked if she could get on the laptop.

“No.”

2 hours later…”If I clean can I get on the laptop?”

“No.”

The next hour “Can I please get on the laptop, I just want to play my game.”

“No. You didn’t feel good enough to go to class, you should be resting, not playing games.”

What she really wanted to do was talk to her friend whom she had seen the day before, and the only way he could contact her was through the internet. He must have panicked when she was not online all day, because by 8pm, the neighbor kid came over to see Erin. Apparently Erin’s friend talked to the neighbor online, asked him to come over and see what was going on, and the neighbor likely went back and reported that Erin was fine, and I was just being mean 🙂

I found it rather funny and cute at the same time. I mean, when I was growing up, we would use the telephone, or just walk to the neighbors, but we were always sending a friend to go do the talking for us 🙂

When You Do Not Know What To Say…

Published October 11, 2014 by Angela

…when your 10 year old daughter tells you there is a Father-Daughter dance coming up. And she asks if you can call her Father and see if he could go.

And you do not even have a phone number to contact him. Or an address to send him a letter. And he hasn’t seen or talked to her in nearly a year. How do I even respond to this?

I know how I would like to respond, and I certainly know what I would like to say. But I don’t. I don’t because it is not her fault. And it is not my fault. I haven’t moved anywhere. I haven’t changed my phone number. And I would never abandon my children. No Matter What.

I am actually a bit beyond ticked that this school would even have this dance. Or any school. Yes, it is great for the children who still have both parents in their lives, but that is hardly the case with the majority of the children in this school. Or in many school for that matter.

I do not appreciate that my daughter is feeling hurt (and I know she is not the only one) because the school did not think this over very well. And before you get all snotty with me about it, she has went to this school for the past 5 years, and they have never done this before. So it certainly is NOT a tradition for this school. Why not have a child-parent dance, so everyone can be included?

I wish her dad could take her. I wish he would take her. I wish he would call her. I wish he would pick her and her sisters up. But he doesn’t. And he won’t. The two older girls realize it, and do not even ask anymore. I guess as sad as it is, I can at least look forward to the fact that she is very close to not asking anymore either.

Who is Homeschooling Whom?

Published September 16, 2014 by Angela

I am seeing a pattern. And I am not liking it. I seem to be spending more time going through my 8th grader’s homeschooling work, checking her calendar, making sure she has her schedule for the day, etc. etc. You probably know the drill.

But I am not seeing her put forth the same amount of effort as I am. I do not know what else to do to motivate her, but I am fast running out of ideas.

I either need better bribes, or better punishments 🙂

and how is your week going?

Can’t We All Just Get Along?

Published September 14, 2014 by Angela

Having 3 children each 3 years apart will probably be a blessing in the years to come, but they are certainly spaced out at the ages right now (16, 13, 10) to ensure that they will not ever get along, on any given day.

I have been listening to arguing for the past 3 days over rubber bands. Bracelet loom rubber bands. You know the ones I mean,  right? I have rubber-band bracelets laying around in every room of my house. The girls have 3 large containers (large!) full of these tiny little rubber bands. Not to mention the ones I am picking up all over my floors.

Said 10 year old got a new loom for her birthday on Friday (yes, I knew better than to buy another one, but I did anyhow). Somehow, the rubber bands that they have all been sharing now have separate owners, and one will not share with the other.

I know, I know! Just take them away. I seem to be buying rubber bands on a bi-weekly basis, and I do not recall ever buying these and handing them to one child and saying “Here. These are your rubber bands. You don’t need to share them.” I am pretty sure that I have always encouraged my girls to share, yet I seem to have daily battles over the most ridiculous things. I am trying to not get to the point where I point out the true fact that “All of those rubber bands, and looms, belong to me. I bought them. I went to work to earn the money to pay for them.” Because then I would be acting just like they are 🙂

So today I choose to pick my battles, and this is not going to be one of them. They can fight this one out themselves.

This Is Going On My Wall!

Published September 13, 2014 by Angela

It seems I have been asking the “Did you get your assessments done today?” Several times a day, only to go and check anyways, and then spend more hours getting said 8th grader caught up.

The plan is to be back on track by Sunday night, with all grades going up a level. It is way too early in the school year to start getting behind 🙂 How do you keep your homeschoolers on task?

So True!

So True!

Waking up To Silence…

Published June 17, 2014 by Angela

…there is nothing better. There are no words. I cannot recall the last time that I actually had the house to myself. With my oldest daughter (FINALLY) home after 6 weeks in South Africa, she has a week off from work to get back on the United States schedule 🙂

So she picked up her 3 younger sisters, took them to the beach for the day, to both of her Grandma’s houses, McDonald’s, and peace and quiet for Mom.

They are walking in the door right now, and the silence is no more.

But it was amazing having a couple of hours of no talking, no television, to fighting, and no asking me for anything.

Thanks Jess, you are the best! And can we do this again tomorrow?

It May Be Summer Vacation For You…

Published June 7, 2014 by Angela

…but when do I get to take a break?

I explained to my girls Thursday night, that once they are out of school (which they now are), there is not any reason in the world that I should have to get up and:

1) empty the dishwasher

2) fill the dishwasher

3) pick up their stuff they leave all over the house

4) cook them dinner

5) tell them to do any of the above, after I get up.

Which is exactly what I had to do Friday when I got up. Now I do not expect them to cook dinner every single night. But they are 16, 13, and 9. They are more than capable of making spaghetti, grilled cheese, cheeseburgers, etc. I do not eat dinner with them. I should say while they are eating dinner, I am eating a bowl of cereal with a banana. So I really do not have a whole lot of motivation to cook dinner for 3 girls when at least one of them is going to say they don’t like/want it, and I am not even going to eat it anyway.

So, here is hoping for a smoother start next week as we move into the noisy summer months where everyone in the neighborhood feels the need to gather outside, under my bedroom windows, and be loud so I cannot get enough sleep to work 3rd shift without feeling exhausted.

Try the park down the road kids. Or the neighbors.

No, not that neighbor. She works 3rd shift too.

The other neighbor.