single parent

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I’m Sorry You Lost Your 11th Pair Of Headphones…

Published March 15, 2014 by Angela

…and No I will not stop to the store to buy you your 12th pair.

How do you lose something that is literally stuck inside 2 orifices in your body? Do you not notice when you suddenly don’t hear the music that was blasting your eardrums a second ago?

You never take them out when I am talking to you, so I was assuming you just never took them out.

I lost a baton once; no one bought me a new one. I lost a pair of roller skates, too. That really sucked, but that was also about the time I quit leaving my stuff in places it didn’t belong. I would suggest you do the same. Honestly, I am thinking the damn headphones are in one of the pockets of those 2 pairs of jeans that you lost. Go figure.

 

For The 10th Time; No, I Do Not Have Your Pants

Published March 11, 2014 by Angela

I am not even sure if I want to know how a 16 year old girl can lose two (count ‘em; 2) pairs of pants.

“Did you check in that overflowing laundry basket that has been sitting on your bedroom floor for the past month?”   Yes, she did.

“Did you check in the two laundry baskets sitting at the top of the stairs that are both full of your girls’ clean laundry I ran for you this weekend?”    Yes, she did.

“Did you check in your sister’s closet, to make sure I didn’t hang them up thinking they were Erin’s pants?”   Yes, she did.

“Did you look under your bed?”   Yes, she did.

“Did you look under your sister’s bed?”    Yes, she did.

“Did you check your sister’s dressers?”    Yes, she did.

“No, I did not put your 2 pairs of jeans in my closet. I cannot wear your clothes, so why would I take your pants when we do not wash our clothes together?”   She doesn’t know.

Now there are certain things that go on in my house without fail, and I will never deviate from this. I absolutely, without a doubt, will not run my laundry with any of my girls’ laundry. Yes, 1-2 times a week, I run my laundry, all by itself. Not only does it save my clothes from being destroyed by the lip-gloss/markers/crayons/candy/gum that seem to get left in their pockets and laundered on a weekly basis, but it also saves me from having to dig my clothes out of their clothes when the laundry is done. My clothes get washed, dried, and taken care of immediately. They seem to be okay living out of laundry baskets, and unless if I feel motivated to put some of their things on hangers, they keep living out of those laundry baskets.

Now before you get on me about wasting water; I am not running a pair of jeans and a shirt through the washer and dryer. I am running full loads of clothes; and honestly, my girls could do a full load of clothes every, single day of the week and never get caught up on their laundry.

So what I would really like to ask her is:

“Did you leave your pants at school?” “Did you leave them at a friend’s house?” “Did you leave them at your now-ex-boyfriend’s house?” “Did you leave your pants on the bus?” “Did you give these pants to someone?” “Did you somehow wreck these pants and you don’t want to tell me?” “Did you cut these pants up like you do so many other clothes because you were trying to make something else to wear?” “Why do I have to rush to the store to buy you more pants when I’m not the one who lost them?” “Why is it my responsibility to know where you last took your pants off at!?!”

So, the mystery of the missing pants continues. I have literally been having her ask me those same questions on a daily basis for the last several days. If these pants ever turn up again, I will let you know where they were hiding!

No, Please. Let Me Get That For You…

Published March 10, 2014 by Angela

…While you sit there and do absolutely nothing. Good Morning to me! Here’s a little tidbit about how my Tuesday is beginning…

I am so doing this tomorrow!

I am doing this tomorrow!

My alarm goes off at 4pm, ughh, I hit the snooze, only to turn the alarm off at 4:05 pm before it starts screaming at me again. I cannot stand the sound of an alarm clock.

As soon as I open my bedroom door, I hear from behind child #2’s bedroom door, “Mom, are you cooking dinner, I am starving?”

Me: “Could you let me get a cup of coffee please?” I head downstairs to child #3 laying on the couch, watching television, and child #4 eating a bag of popcorn. (Why are you eating in the living room? I ask you 10 times a day to not eat in the living room).

So, as I wait 30 seconds for my cup of coffee to brew (why did I give up Monster drinks?) I go in the basement and put my laundry in the dryer. It is now about 4:15 and I can get in the shower.

Showered, dressed, hair is blow-dried, lacking make-up and need more coffee. I get more coffee, and begin making a dinner that I am not going to eat.

Ridiatore pasta, spinach and parmesan sauce (yes, jarred), and homemade garlic toast. I empty the dishwasher while I am literally waiting for water to boil. It really does take longer when you watch it. 20 minutes later I tell 3 kids they can eat, to have child #4 ask “Mom, if my friend comes over while I am eating, can I go outside and play and I will eat later?”

“Um. No, you cannot.”

Kids fed, I can go finish getting ready for work. Everyone is done eating, the kitchen is a mess, and I get to take care of everything. Child #2 is back in her bedroom, child #3 is back on the couch, and child #4 is outside with her friend.

Where is child #1, you ask? She is a Junior in college and lives near her campus, which is not near me 😦 And if she was here, I would not be typing this post because she would have had dinner made, kids fed, and dishes taken care of before I even got out of bed (Love you Jess!)

Yes, I could yell at them (trust me, I do) and nag them to do their chores, clean the kitchen, etc. etc. But honestly, sometimes it is just easier for me and everyone else if I just do it myself. It gets done faster, and correctly the 1st time. And no, I am not an enabler of lazy children, they do take care of the things I expect them to, most of the time.

said no child of mine, EVER :-)

said no child of mine, EVER 🙂

So it’s on to cup of coffee #3, a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios and a banana Lucky Charms (I need the sugar rush), and time to do homework.

 

Yes, I really do love my girls more than anything, but some days, I just gotta share how ridiculous things can be around here 🙂

On To A New Week!

Published February 10, 2014 by Angela

I feel like I have been falling behind on several things since 2014 began. I would like to blame college but that 1st class was only 3 weeks long, and it ended a couple weeks ago.

I really think the lack of sunshine is making me so tired (and yes, bitchy! Remember that last post?) I have stocked up on some Vitamin D, hoping this helps. Normally I would go tanning, or fake-and-bake as we say here in Michigan. As much as I love the look of a nice tan, I have stopped doing this a couple years ago due to concern about the safety of it, as well as skin cancer. Being red-headed, fair-skinned, and full of freckles, I should have never had a tan, ever 🙂

I feel like I have been getting off-track on the homeschooling. If Erin is getting behind, it is because I am not pushing her hard enough. And I am not talking about making her do school 8 hours a day (although I wish she would!) I am talking about making the time I need to in order to make sure she is understanding everything, and what she has questions on. Checking her work every day is just not enough, and what used to be hours a day discussing her work feels like less and less.

So as each day here in West Michigan gets a bit longer with more sunshine (even though we don’t see it), I am refocusing on staying on task, and keeping Erin on task. I would like to wrap up her 1st year of homeschooling on a positive note, having accomplished everything we planned out last August. My intention for her 8th grade year is to enroll her in online school. I think that will help keep her on task and more focused. She sure gets distracted easily! And yes, she gets it from me 🙂 Online schooling takes a special kind of discipline, and since I have been going to college like this for more years than I’ll tell you, I think this is definitely going to help both of us with homeschooling.

 

This Is Probably Wrong On So Many Levels….

Published December 20, 2013 by Angela

But I have literally been off from work for 8 hours, and am thinking I need to find a part-time job for 9 days.

I have never, never, in 21+ years of parenting, had to listen to girls fight as much as I have for the last 2 weeks. Unbelievable. The closer it gets to Christmas; the worse they fight. Yet they ask me: “Mom, can you put some more presents under the tree?”

Really?

I am about to return the ones that are already under the tree.

And go shopping for myself.

Honestly, it has been snowing here since Halloween, and I think this is going to be a long season of cabin fever. I have the best of intentions, and the smallest of patience. And the less patience I have, the more they fight. I don’t want to be home having my sleep schedule messed up. I want to go to work at 10 pm, and crawl into bed at 8 am with my earplugs, and eye mask, and “The Hobbit” blaring loud enough in the DVD to drown out my kids arguing.

I am soooo sick of hearing “stupid”, and “idiot” in my house that I can’t even discuss it. When did I become the Mother and Father to such rude children? They weren’t this rude last year, or last month. But I have become the parent of not only children who suffer from being bullied, but they are also the bullies; to their own sisters.

We will be spending every moment that our church is having service at church, and the rest of the time doing things for others who are less fortunate. Because my girls think they have it pretty bad; I think it’s time for them to see what pretty bad really is. It isn’t having to use the same back-pack two years in a row; it is not having a pair of shoes that lets you go to school in the first place.

 

When Did “No” Stop Meaning No?

Published December 17, 2013 by Angela

I know when.

When I stopped making it mean “No.”

When I said “No” and changed my mind later.

When I was too tired to argue with my kids.

 When I was too tired to listen to my kids argue with each other.

When I got sick of listening to my kids whine because they were told “No.”

 When I felt bad for one of my kids for one of any number of reasons and let them have their way.

When I was mad at myself for something I said or did.

When I was mad at myself for something I didn’t say or do, and should have.

There are just some days when I do not have it in me to deal with the whining, bickering, arguing, and crying. There are days when 3 girls, all 3 years apart, can shut themselves in one bedroom and get along so well that I would never even know they are in the house. Then there are days when I literally cannot walk up the stairs, and into the bathroom, without them beginning to argue. I cannot take a shower without someone putting their hands on someone else. I cannot walk into the kitchen to cook dinner without a yelling match breaking out in the living room.

The closer it gets to Christmas; the worse they are behaving.

The closer it gets to Christmas; the less patience I have for it. I mean this is when they are supposed to be all sunshine and roses, right? On their best behavior for Santa, right? Except only one of them may still believe in Santa, and I honestly will be glad when I know for sure that the ruse is up!

So I do take full responsibility for not making “No” mean “No”. Of course they are going to keep bugging me; it always worked before. At some point I have got to make what I say mean what it is supposed to mean, and that will have to be over Christmas break. At the beginning of January I will begin classes for my MBA, so any semblance I have had of peace and free time will be non-existent.

Attitudes can be adjusted, (including mine!!!) but it will take lots of willpower, patience, and positive reinforcement on my part, and cooperation on my children’s part. It will be an experiment in the making, but I am excited to work on it, and fine-tune it, to be able to enjoy the final results, eventually. I will rely on my Faith, and pray often, with my girls, and hope that my positive attitude will set an example for them to have a positive attitude!

I Can’t Pick Up After You Forever

Published December 9, 2013 by Angela

5:45 am-

15 y.o.: Mom, where’s my “To Kill A Mockingbird Book?”

Me: In your bag

15 y.o.: No, it isn’t

Me: Well the last time I saw it, it was halfway under the sofa because it fell out of your book bag that you dropped in the middle of the living room floor for everyone to trip over.

15 y.o.: I can’t find it

Me: Well, I would move the sofa out. Your sister hung up your book bag for me and I told her to put your book in it.

No Luck…. I didn’t tell her I have a copy of it in the bookshelf in the basement.

I can’t get mad at her messiness, because I know I was the exact same way. But it seems like every day I am playing Sherlock Holmes, looking for school books, homework, socks, and toys.

Toys. Toys I don’t even remember them having and certainly didn’t play with 🙂 Toys they try to describe to me and I do not understand. I know for a fact 2 of the three have brand new school clothes floating around this house somewhere, still with the tags on and never worn! Because I ask them where it is and they don’t know.

What I should do is find the stuff myself and wrap it up as Christmas gifts 🙂

When did I become so old? LOL

I completely understand why my Dad went through my bedroom every month while I was growing up, with a garbage bag, and threw out everything on the floor. The only difference between he and I though, is that he would never replace something he threw away because of my messiness. (Yes, I have thrown stuff out, only to buy it again, and I am fully ashamed to say that!)

Nothing in the world is truer than this!

Nothing in the world is truer than this!

As I complain (sarcastically) I am very lucky to have 3 awesome girls still at home (4 awesome girls, one being a Junior in college). They do very well when asked to do something for me, but I swear to goodness I will never, ever know how after a pair of socks are worn once, its mate is never-to-be-seen again!

Do you have any special tricks to get your kids to be organized?

When Did We Become So Mean?

Published December 8, 2013 by Angela

Since I have been up for hours (it is currently 5:45am) as is normal for me on weekends that I don’t work, I figured I would watch “The Sound of Music” which was shown live Thursday on NBC. Did I want to watch it? Not particularly. But the aftermath that went on from this live version really had me wondering “How bad could it really be?” So I had to see for myself.

I am not an actress; I have never been, or wanted to be. I have never been in a school play, a production of any kind, and the most I got in front of a crowd was for band concerts, one invisible kid in a crowd of kids. So I am not going to make any comments of what I feel the quality of the acting that happened during this LIVE performance was. And I will not write the names here of the previous actresses whom acted in the original movie version with Julie Andrews, as the various children in the movie. They do not deserve mention, and should wholly be ashamed of themselves.

What I would like to know, is exactly how many takes each one of their scenes took, because every single time they made a mistake, someone said “Cut!” and they got to go back and fix it. Time after time. After time. How would they have done live? Probably not so hot. But they would not have gotten bullied while they were continuing to act live on a stage knowing the whole world was waiting for them to fail. Hoping for them to fail.

“How dare you try to play a role Julie Andrews played!” “Almost painful to watch!” Really? Painful? What is painful is reading comments from a couple has-beens who are sitting behind an electronic device giving criticism on a role they never had to perform. I agree with Carrie Underwood that these critics need Jesus. Boy do they ever. They need a lot more than that. Would putting them on the other side of the fence make them understand? Not likely. Most bullies do not ever believe they have done anything wrong. Not all, but a lot.

Am I a fan of Carrie Underwood’s? No, I am not. I think she has an amazing voice (I can’t carry a tune in a bucket!) but I do not like country music. I am familiar with some of her songs; they are catchy and good, but I haven’t heard a song yet that has me going to the store to buy her CD. But that doesn’t mean I wish her to fail.

As a parent of a child who suffered through 3 years of terrible bullying before finally telling me the whole truth of what was happening to her, to what I went through for 3 years fighting with a young girl every single day to go to school; being threatened with court, jail, and fines; to having a homeschooler who is calm, content, and successful, I have to say, this display of public bullying really, REALLY pisses me off. (I just had to erase what I typed after that because it was not what Jesus would say, and I will not allow someone to turn ME into a bully too!)

I understand we live in a world of instant information, and I still can’t say that I think this is a great thing. When I was growing up, I could go home, not answer the phone, did not have a computer or cell phone going off non-stop, and could have peace and quiet. Now our children can be harassed 24 hours a day, and it is a very difficult thing to stop.

We can all be better people, and make better examples for others. We can each make a positive difference, if we choose to. Or we can be part of the problem.

Be a friend, not the enemy.

I want to be part of the solution. Who’s with me?