raising girls

All posts tagged raising girls

The Calm Before the Storm…

Published October 15, 2014 by Angela

…maybe this storm will pass right by? Yeah. Not likely.

So no one felt the need to ask/tell me that one or more of them want to go live with their dad. I was also gone from 5:30am until 6:30 pm, thanks to a very lengthy Doctor’s visit that has led to several more Doctor visits. More on that, later…

By the time I actually made it home, exhausted, I had to get my participation in for my MBA class, check Erin’s homeschooling assignments (which she is still behind, since she slept until 11 am) of which I have also set a new caught-up date of this coming Saturday.

It is just not going to happen. And I am just not ready for this argument right now. And the attitude. And the slamming doors, and throwing of things important and unimportant. And likely refusal to do homeschooling assignments as some sort of punishment for me when the only person she is hurting is herself.

I just cannot justify letting my emotionally unstable 13 year old teenage daughter move in with her father, who she has not seen since January 2nd. Who cannot keep a job. Who lives who-knows-where. Oh. And he is physically and verbally abusive.

Yeah. Not gonna happen.

So I will prepare myself for the attitude to come, and let her know I am doing what is best for her.

I cannot wait for Christmas and that big battle! 🙂

Some Days I Don’t Know Why I Even Bother…

Published October 14, 2014 by Angela

…doing anything for anyone in this house. Anyone other than myself and my awesome nekkid kitty cat. Because sometimes it is really never appreciated. Actually, it is never appreciated. No, I am not exaggerating. I sure wish I was. But I’m not. I had to take a day off from work to get my homeschooler caught up with her assignments that she has fallen behind on. And while I am reviewing her things on my laptop, she is on their laptop playing games and shopping for clothes.

And this is all happening after I get hit with the fact that she wants to go live with her dad. Her dad who does not call her. Even on her birthday. Her dad that has not seen her since January 2nd. Her dad that is 36 years old and never graduated high school. But hey, him and his 19 year old girlfriend who never graduated either; yeah, they can help her with her algebra. And literature. History? No problem.

I’ll discuss in a later blog how I ended up married to such a worthless bag of skin and oxygen waster.

He has no home. Or vehicle. Or secure job. But yeah, send her there and he will take care of it all. And my 16 year old thinks it is a good idea as well. So I am getting ganged up on by everyone, because after 10 months, he decides he needs to talk about this today as well.

So what I am thinking, since no one cares what the hell I go through to take care of them with NO help from that POS, EVER, that maybe he should take all 3 of them. And I will pay him child support, and marry my boyfriend of 8 years, and start living my life for myself. Because after 22 years of being a Mom, right now, I do not want to do it any more. Not when I get treated like garbage. And used as a taxi, cook, maid, and nurse.

I think it might be time to start living my life for me. They are pretty sure they don’t need my help, so maybe I should just let them see how wrong they are. Because what do I know anyways? I know my 16 year old certainly does not want to live with him, so the fact that she is willing to send her sister there….makes me think she needs to go as well. I think it’s time to start downsizing. If it’s good enough for Erin, well Kendall should certainly be more than willing to go. I mean it is a great place to raise teenage girls, right? Riiiiggghhht.

Maybe tomorrow I will feel different, today I am so hurt and physically sick over this that I cannot see straight.

Things That Do Not Happen Often Enough…

Published October 13, 2014 by Angela

…is all four of my daughters being in the same place at the same time. We all have such busy schedules that we literally have to schedule family time as well.

Girls 10-12-2014 012

Autumn is looking beautiful in West Michigan, and I wish it would stay like this for the whole year.

Looking forward to a busy Monday off from work, thanks to an incompetent dentist and my crown falling off my tooth and out of my mouth yesterday. I really wish I could say this is the first time this ever happened, but it is not 😦

May your Monday be filled with Blessings and Sunshine!

Wolf Lake, Baldwin, Michigan

Wolf Lake, Baldwin, Michigan

When You Do Not Know What To Say…

Published October 11, 2014 by Angela

…when your 10 year old daughter tells you there is a Father-Daughter dance coming up. And she asks if you can call her Father and see if he could go.

And you do not even have a phone number to contact him. Or an address to send him a letter. And he hasn’t seen or talked to her in nearly a year. How do I even respond to this?

I know how I would like to respond, and I certainly know what I would like to say. But I don’t. I don’t because it is not her fault. And it is not my fault. I haven’t moved anywhere. I haven’t changed my phone number. And I would never abandon my children. No Matter What.

I am actually a bit beyond ticked that this school would even have this dance. Or any school. Yes, it is great for the children who still have both parents in their lives, but that is hardly the case with the majority of the children in this school. Or in many school for that matter.

I do not appreciate that my daughter is feeling hurt (and I know she is not the only one) because the school did not think this over very well. And before you get all snotty with me about it, she has went to this school for the past 5 years, and they have never done this before. So it certainly is NOT a tradition for this school. Why not have a child-parent dance, so everyone can be included?

I wish her dad could take her. I wish he would take her. I wish he would call her. I wish he would pick her and her sisters up. But he doesn’t. And he won’t. The two older girls realize it, and do not even ask anymore. I guess as sad as it is, I can at least look forward to the fact that she is very close to not asking anymore either.

When You Are Just Too Tired To Care…

Published October 9, 2014 by Angela

…the big things of yesterday seem like minor things today. I thought I was doing fairly well getting acclimated back to 1st shift working / night time sleeping, but I was especially tired today.

I think the fact that I have errands to run, homework to do, and homeschooling work to assist with, I feel even more tired than I really am. The extra caffeine did not help either; it seems to have added to my overall feeling of tired-exhausted-sleepy-crabby-is-it-bedtime-yet attitude.

Dinner is cooked, and I am trying to not be frustrated by the fact that the last time I made potatoes, the girls complained because I did not make enough. So I made the same potatoes x 2, only to have one of them say “Oh, I did not like them that well.”

Not caring. Too tired to care. After I run my errands, I am hoping a great big bowl of ice cream will help me to care about the fact that I have a very important assignment due by midnight for one of my MBA classes.

Ice cream fixes everything, right?

It’s almost Friday, and that makes me smile 🙂

I Am At A Loss For Words…

Published October 6, 2014 by Angela

…as to how my 8th grade homeschooler could manage to get herself on the brink of being removed from her virtual online school.

What has she done to raise the ire of the homeschooling staff?

She refuses to answer the phone when her homeroom teacher calls; once every other week.

Every.

Other.

Week.

Twice a month. That’s it. She needs to talk to her homeroom teacher twice a month so they know if she has any questions, issues, concerns, etc.

I do not find this to be unreasonable in the least, and have been explaining to her that she has got to take these phone calls. Or I will be driving her to the local public middle school and signing her up for classes there.

I am really, truly, at my wits end with her lack of cooperation.

She is doing the school work. She is smart. She is not confused by the classes or assignments.

She is quickly running out of options, and she is not going to like the only other alternative I have if she refuses public school like I have been dealing with for the past 5 years.

Any ideas? Thoughts? Words of encouragement? Hexes or spells to make her do what she should? Anything?

Uggh. That is exactly how I feel right now.

UGH

I Don’t Know Why I Was Even Surprised…

Published October 2, 2014 by Angela

…when I looked in the refrigerator this morning, seeing if someone got into the cookie dough, and it was gone. I had meant to put the package of Nestle Toll House pumpkin spice and white chip cookie dough in my mini refrigerator in my bedroom once I baked the Halloween chocolate chip package and Erin realized there was cookie dough in the refrigerator. I forgot when I left for work yesterday morning. This morning; the whole package had disappeared.

This is why I have a mini refrigerator in my bedroom, as well as the bottom of my entertainment center in my bedroom full of cereal, chips, snacks, etc. When the mood strikes Erin, and she fancies something to eat, she will eat it. She will eat it all. Even though she knows she shouldn’t, and that it upsets me, and it is unhealthy for her; she does it anyway. Such as 24 cookie dough squares. Or 6 cans of slim-fast in one night. Or 8 yogurts in a day. She has randomly cooked full loaves of garlic bread in the middle of the night, so when I go to cook the pasta meal I had planned for dinner; no garlic bread. If she finds chocolate anywhere, she will eat it all. I have had whole bags of chocolate chips disappear, entire cans of Pringles, and a dozen eggs at one time.

If I had a bigger bedroom, I would have a bigger refrigerator. Honestly, if I could get away with putting a lock on my refrigerator and pantry, I would. I am sure someone would consider that child endangerment or cruelty or something else along those lines. Even though she is causing herself issues by binge eating like she does.

Have you had a child, sibling, spouse, partner, friend, or roommate do this? How did you deal with it?

Online Schooling…

Published October 2, 2014 by Angela

…is definitely a big improvement for me than last year when I was setting all of the lesson plans, schedules, checking all of the homework, and then helping her with all of it. Now I just have to help her with all of it. And remind her to stay on task. And answer questions she should probably know the answers to. And remind her to stay on task. And explain to her why it is important to at least move her books from the exact location they were in that morning, so it at least looks like she opened them. And remind her to stay on task. And sit with her through her entire Algebra lessons to help her understand. And remind her to stay on task.

Okay, I think you got my point. I am liking this online environment for Erin (I am working on my 3rd college degree online, so it is definitely familiar territory). The one thing I do not like is the assessments are 4 or 5 questions. If she even gets one wrong, her grade drops by a large amount.

We are still working through the bugs, but she is improving from where she was the first week. Hopefully she is finding her rhythm, and we can keep her caught up. She has one huge writing project that gets shared with the social studies assignments as well, and it does get a bit confusing as to what is due when, and which class they want it submitted to.

I am still hoping she will be ready for public high school next year; she is working towards that goal as much as I am. If she is not, I will definitely go this route next year as well.

We made it past Hump Day, on to the weekend!

Smooth Moves and Switching Over

Published September 25, 2014 by Angela

I Hope This Goes Better Than I Am Expecting! Probably not what you expected either, from the title!

I am moving my blogs to a self-hosted website, so I can have more control over how my pages look, as well as what add-ins are displayed. I am hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. So, I will be absolutely devastated if my followers don’t get redirected to my new website as it states it will do.

I know several of you are following two of my blogs, and one of you is following all 3 ( J ). I do not know how long this transition may take, but I will definitely keep them open where they are at until I know I can export everything over.

So, if I disappear for a while, I apologize, I will just be sitting in front of my laptop, crying because I messed something up!