raising teenagers
All posts tagged raising teenagers
Always Receiving, Never Giving…
Published November 10, 2014 by Angela…has me very baffled at where my children have gotten their sense of entitlement from.
They always want something, but do not understand the concept of working for anything. I am really, honestly trying to determine if I have somehow created this problem myself (I feel I have, to a point) and how to fix it.
For the past week, I have been bombarded with “I need”, “I want”, and “Can you do this for me…”. I have not once heard “Let me help”, “Can I help?”, or “What can I do?”. I have been angry at the world and everyone around me because of this. It has not been a good week to be in my head, with the slightest thing setting me off to an entire day of not-in-a-good-mood-leave-me-alone-and-stop-talking-to-me attitude. Yes, my attitude has been that big.
My girls have watched me struggle to make ends meet, work 70 hour weeks to pay the bills, run on no sleep because they have so many things going on, and no personal time for myself. I find it beyond upsetting that they are completely okay with this.
We had a great experience at our church this Saturday when we packaged over 10,000 meals for a local food shelter, emergency reserves, and a 3rd world country where food is scarce. Being told that in the first hour we were there 600 children aged 5 and under had died from hunger was like a punch in the stomach for me. Hunger upsets me and breaks my heart more than any other plight I can think of. Worse than those sad-abused animal commercials, and I love animals! I always buy extra groceries during the holiday season to donate, and every week I buy extra health care products to donate a couple times a year to a local woman’s shelter.
So how can anyone who has been raised by me, live in the same home as me, and know what my values are, just ask for things they do not need, deserve, and certainly haven’t earned?
I have a feeling I am going to have 3 young ladies in my house that are going to get a reality check like no other reality check, and our Christmas is going to be a little bit different this year. Instead of me shopping for them, I think it is time we go shopping together and use some of the money that would have been spent on them on others who have a true need.
This coming Friday, November 14th, I am taking them to see Kirk Cameron’s “Saving Christmas“, and I hope this is the wake-up call that they so desperately need right now. If you have not heard about his latest project, be sure to check it out here: http://www.savingchristmas.com/
The Things That Used To Frustrate Me The Most…
Published November 3, 2014 by Angela…now bring a smile to my face 🙂 Yes, just like that, but bigger.
Case-in-point:
I announced in the living room on Thursday, while all of my girls were in there and I had their attention; that their clothes hamper was starting to overflow (it is located in the hall outside of our 3 bedroom doors) and someone should probably think about starting laundry before they run out of something they need.
I told them the same thing Friday, and I also told them Saturday. They were looking at me, so I knew they heard me; they just didn’t care at the time.
Fast-Forward to Monday morning, 6:05am, I am about to head out the door to work, and 16 year old is getting in the shower.
“Ugh. Why are there no bath towels in the closet?”
Me: “Probably because none of you girls took it upon yourselves to do the laundry after I had warned you 3 times.” And I left for work.
I have no idea what she used to dry herself off with, but I am about 98% sure that there will be laundry getting done tonight. I wash all of my clothes by themselves (i.e. not with my kids laundry) and I do 1 or 2 loads of laundry every Sunday. I have clothes and bath towels for the week, and whether or not they do is not my issue.
See, I used to feel responsible for making sure they had clean clothes, but all that happened was that I was always doing their chores and they were not learning any responsibility. So a few days of no bath towels or clean bras usually gets them back on task.
Honestly, if you can drive a car, kiss a boy, or swear at your sisters, you can start the washer and dryer.
Being The Bigger Person…
Published November 2, 2014 by Angela…for the sake of my girls. We were all surprised when their Father and his girlfriend showed up at our home today. My 16 year old had her final marching band highlights concert tonight and she is one of the drum majors. They came up to surprise her and attend this half-time highlights concert.
My beautiful 16 year old daughter and Drum Major for the marching band. I could not be more proud or blessed!
So they took the 3 girls out to eat, and then went to the concert. My boyfriend and I sat next to them and we all had a good time. They were unsure if they would be staying at a hotel for the night or not, and would let me know. My boyfriend dropped me off at home, I turned on the radio, and finished cleaning the house, which is so much easier to do when there are no kids here!
So the next message I get is from his girlfriend wanting to ask me a question…if they cannot find a hotel to stay in could they possibly stay on the floor for the night so they can spend time with the girls.
I said yes, I did not have a problem with that. My girls would be heartbroken to not spend as much time with him as possible. In the end he decided he was not comfortable with it, but they did want to hang out with them for a while. So while I was in the kitchen doing my homework and editing some photos and book reviews, they were playing the WII and enjoying themselves.
I was not pleased when the girlfriend finally got me alone and asked if they could take my 13 year old, Erin, for 2 weeks and then bring her back. She is my homeschooler, and thinks she would do better living with her father. I said absolutely not, she was not at a point where this type of adjustment, even for 2 weeks, would do her any good.
I wasn’t surprised either…
So I did my good Mommy deed for the day, week, month, year, whatever 🙂 I honestly did not mind, and was very happy my girls got to spend some time with their dad and his girlfriend.
The Things Your Own Kids Say – Part 1
Published October 30, 2014 by AngelaNow this is funny. No, I did not laugh about it at the time, but it was so ridiculous I wondered how many times I pulled this crap on my own parents.
So my 10-year-old daughter joined basketball. Last Saturday was her first game, and we had to go buy shorts. So I told her I would get her 2 pairs of shorts. From K-Mart, or Wal-Mart. Well of course, you cannot find sports shorts in October. And this is not my fault; she waited until the last possible minute to even join and stay in basketball. (See my previous posts).
So, K-Mart at 9 am on a Saturday is not pleasant, so on the way to Wal-Mart, I stopped to MC Sports. No problem. $22.00 for one pair of shorts. So she got one pair of shorts (I thought we all might like to eat for the week).
So, after the game Saturday, which they won, she did not bother to take off her uniform. And she fell asleep on the couch for the night with it on. And we dropped off her sister to church the next morning for classes, and she was still wearing it (we were not going out in public, and by age 10, I am done telling my girls to not go out of the house looking a mess). So, at some point Sunday when I finally forced her to take a bath and change her clothes, she tossed those $22.00 shorts somewhere.
Fast-Forward to Monday night, and she is looking for her shorts.
What did she say to me after she was throwing a literal tantrum and I would not let her stress me out?
“Mom, you said you were going to buy me two pairs of shorts.”
What did I say?
“Excuse me? Whether or not I bought you two pairs of shorts does not excuse the fact that you lost the pair you had. Do not blame me because you cannot pick up after yourself!”
2 more hours, and she found them.
In her bedroom.
Under her bed.
Just In The Nick Of Time!
Published October 29, 2014 by AngelaWe had pumpkin carving tonight for our Wednesday night church classes (WOW) Worship on Wednesday. This is the only way my girls were likely going to be carving pumpkins. I completely blew this task off last year, and am still being told a couple of them cried because of it. I hardly think so because 1) if they were crying about it, I would remember it, and 2) I am not that mean.
So yeah, I do not like carving pumpkins. I did not really care for it when I was a kid, either. The only thing I dislike more than carving pumpkins is coloring Easter eggs. Yep; I can’t stand doing that either. But in my defense, every single Easter, I have 4 dozen colored eggs sitting in my refrigerator for weeks.
My two favorite holidays, and I dislike the two most popular things about those holidays 🙂
So now that that is over, I hope everyone has a safe, fun-filled Halloween. I am officially down to 1 child trick-or-treating, and since it is supposed to snow here in Michigan, by Friday I will be thinking that it is 1 too many!
Something To Think About!
Published October 28, 2014 by Angela
How Would You Like Me To Reward Your Bad Behavior?
Published October 26, 2014 by AngelaA $75.00 gift card to Amazon?
What?
I was almost speechless, but only for about 2 seconds. My dear 13 year old had an attitude yesterday morning when I told her she needed to get ready to go to her younger sister’s first basketball game. She did not want to go. I explained to her that she needed to go to support her sister, and that her sister would be very upset and hurt to look up in the stands and see everyone there but her. Well, her Dad also, but I think she has pretty much written him off anyhow.
So she was intentionally doing everything in her power to make us late, thinking I would finally give in and just let her stay home. I also was not leaving the house without her, no matter how late we ended up getting to the game.
I think she realized this, as she was at least getting dressed, however slowly. She finally made it to the front door and said “I need to brush my hair.”
“No, you don’t. It looks fine.” More angry-face-crappy-attitude-stomping-of-feet all the way to the car. Did I mention she is 13 years old?
So now I am slowly drinking my coffee, waiting for the 8am mark so I can go get her up to go to her confirmation classes, which she has missed for the last two weeks. I told her yesterday if she did not get up and go to her confirmation classes, and I did not care if she was throwing up all over herself (yeah, I said that. This girl plays the “sick” card like it is her profession), she would not have the laptop left in the mornings to do her homeschooling, and she would spend every evening at the kitchen table with me doing her homework while I do mine.
So here’s to a beautiful Sunday, full of sunshine and Blessings!
Still holding on through the cold weather!
Planning A Weekend For Yourself…
Published October 25, 2014 by Angela…is seriously under-rated in my house. At least when it comes to my weekends. This is always a crazy-busy time of year for my girls and I, and it seems as they get older, they become more involved in activities that have me constantly in my vehicle going from one school event to the next. I actually had conflicting things going on today and one of my girls was mad that she did not get to do an activity she wanted to do, and we instead went as a family to watch my 10 year old in her first basketball game.
When they grow up, and if they have children, I am sure they will remember days like this when they are in their vehicles doing the same thing that I did for them. It is all a big circle 🙂
So there are some things coming up in the not-too-near future that I am going to start making reservations for now, that way not only do I have something to look forward to, but I know I will actually take that time that I so desperately need in order to recharge Mom!
Wishing you a sunshine-filled beautiful Autumn weekend!
Doing It Old-School, Kind Of…
Published October 20, 2014 by Angela…Erin was not very happy yesterday with the you-don’t-go-to-confirmation-classes-no-laptop rule. She was literally up about an hour before she asked if she could get on the laptop.
“No.”
2 hours later…”If I clean can I get on the laptop?”
“No.”
The next hour “Can I please get on the laptop, I just want to play my game.”
“No. You didn’t feel good enough to go to class, you should be resting, not playing games.”
What she really wanted to do was talk to her friend whom she had seen the day before, and the only way he could contact her was through the internet. He must have panicked when she was not online all day, because by 8pm, the neighbor kid came over to see Erin. Apparently Erin’s friend talked to the neighbor online, asked him to come over and see what was going on, and the neighbor likely went back and reported that Erin was fine, and I was just being mean 🙂
I found it rather funny and cute at the same time. I mean, when I was growing up, we would use the telephone, or just walk to the neighbors, but we were always sending a friend to go do the talking for us 🙂
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