single parent

All posts tagged single parent

When You Are Just Too Tired To Care…

Published October 9, 2014 by Angela

…the big things of yesterday seem like minor things today. I thought I was doing fairly well getting acclimated back to 1st shift working / night time sleeping, but I was especially tired today.

I think the fact that I have errands to run, homework to do, and homeschooling work to assist with, I feel even more tired than I really am. The extra caffeine did not help either; it seems to have added to my overall feeling of tired-exhausted-sleepy-crabby-is-it-bedtime-yet attitude.

Dinner is cooked, and I am trying to not be frustrated by the fact that the last time I made potatoes, the girls complained because I did not make enough. So I made the same potatoes x 2, only to have one of them say “Oh, I did not like them that well.”

Not caring. Too tired to care. After I run my errands, I am hoping a great big bowl of ice cream will help me to care about the fact that I have a very important assignment due by midnight for one of my MBA classes.

Ice cream fixes everything, right?

It’s almost Friday, and that makes me smile 🙂

Poor Planning On My Part…

Published October 8, 2014 by Angela

…does constitute and emergency, for me!

This is our first official day of WOW at my church (Worship on Wednesday). We got together last week for dinner and to discuss how we were going to do things this year, getting lessons ready, assigning jobs, etc. I have been teaching one of the small groups for several years now, and I do enjoy my time that I get to spend at church and with the youth groups.

So I have had the entire week to get things in order for the first craft project. Except I didn’t. I mean, I am pretty sure the items I need are already at the church, I had stockpiled a lot of craft supplies there for the last 2 years. But I haven’t really decided on exactly what project I am going to be doing. I am not quite sure exactly what the lesson is for the night, so I want to make sure I pick an activity that fits the theme.

Our youth Minister let us know we really want to focus this year on getting kids to open their bibles. There are lots of fun ways to get them to do this (search for verses, scavenger hunts using verses, acting out verses) and I think it is going to be another great year of WOW.

I just feel completely unprepared, and I have a very busy schedule on Wednesdays with other kids activities going on, plus I need to get my college work in for the day.

So here’s to winging it, and I hope it all works out, like it usually does 🙂

Keeping Your Children Safe On The Internet…

Published October 7, 2014 by Angela

…is a lot harder then I would ever have expected. I have locked down my children’s laptop to the furthest extent I am capable of. I bought a security program that was useless, so I resorted to using Microsoft Family Safety. This security program makes me far more frustrated than it has ever helped protect my kids. Now, I will accept the “explanation” that when they “try” to access a site, say Facebook, that it is going to show up on their activity report, even though they could not get into it.

How exactly is this helping me? Now I have a very extensive list of websites that my daughter may, or may not have, accessed. Yes, there is no replacement for the diligent monitoring a parent can do to help keep their kids safe on the internet. The laptop is used at the kitchen table, with the screen in view of me. This somehow did not prevent my daughter opening a page with the link titled “Beautiful Ladies with big ….”. I cannot even type it here, I am so disgusted.

What did Microsoft Family Safety have to say about this page on her activity log? It could be “suspicious”. What? WHAT? The last word in that edited sentence was of a male body part, but MFS only thinks it may be questionable? Well Microsoft Family Safety, I think you suck worse than your faulty program.

The laptop is locked in my bedroom when I am not at home. But there are also ways around the safety net. Such as logging in and opening the internet and clicking on the site you want from the toolbar before the MFS can even start functioning. I have blocked Tumblr numerous times daily for weeks, I am about 85% positive she is still accessing it.

I am not putting the responsibility of minding my children on an entertainment corporation, but good gracious, at some point I need to use the bathroom, or get the laundry out of the basement, or any other number of tasks that my single mom life requires of me on a daily basis.

I wish there was truly a site that would just block what you want, and not ridiculous things. My daughter homeschools, so it is difficult to block access to news sites when she needs to use information from them, yet she can click on links through there and get to these inappropriate sites.

So, I will continue to look over their shoulders as much as I can, block every website that is inappropriate as they access it (you would not believe the number of social networking sites kids are using; most I have never heard of). At some point I have to rely on them to make the right choices, and I know I raised them in a manner that they know right from wrong. Now I just need to worry about the curiosity and temptation factor that sometimes overwhelms teenagers.

I Am At A Loss For Words…

Published October 6, 2014 by Angela

…as to how my 8th grade homeschooler could manage to get herself on the brink of being removed from her virtual online school.

What has she done to raise the ire of the homeschooling staff?

She refuses to answer the phone when her homeroom teacher calls; once every other week.

Every.

Other.

Week.

Twice a month. That’s it. She needs to talk to her homeroom teacher twice a month so they know if she has any questions, issues, concerns, etc.

I do not find this to be unreasonable in the least, and have been explaining to her that she has got to take these phone calls. Or I will be driving her to the local public middle school and signing her up for classes there.

I am really, truly, at my wits end with her lack of cooperation.

She is doing the school work. She is smart. She is not confused by the classes or assignments.

She is quickly running out of options, and she is not going to like the only other alternative I have if she refuses public school like I have been dealing with for the past 5 years.

Any ideas? Thoughts? Words of encouragement? Hexes or spells to make her do what she should? Anything?

Uggh. That is exactly how I feel right now.

UGH

Things The Neighbor Kids Say, Part 3

Published October 3, 2014 by Angela

My 10-year old daughter’s friend came over, asking if she could come outside to play basketball. Here is what the conversation consisted of:

My 10-year-old: “I thought you were going with your dad?”

10-year-old neighbor: “He said he’s sick. So we can’t go.” (her and her older brother)

My 10yo: “Oh, okay. Are you going to go later?”

10yo neighbor: “No. Because he was supposed to get us two weeks ago, but forgot. And the time before that he couldn’t get us because he had no food. And now he says he’s sick. And that he had us 2 weeks ago. But he didn’t cause we have been at Grandma’s during every weekend for the past month. And Grandma said we are never going over there again. So the only time I will ever see my dad again is if I see him at the store.”

I do not find this amusing, and that is not why I am mentioning it. I find it very sad. I find it sad that this young girl is going to be telling this story to anyone and everyone who will listen, because she wants others to think it doesn’t hurt her. I find it sad that she likely thinks there is something wrong with her because she has a father who is completely useless. I find it sad that my daughter completely understands, because her own father will not pick her or her sisters up, ever.

When did it become so hard for parents to be parents? Not their children’s best friend, but their parent. The one who will support and encourage, teach values and virtues, and discipline not because they enjoy it, but because it is a necessary part of parenting.

It has not been easy on me being a single parent by any means, and for quite a while I was succeeding very well at failing my girls. It took awhile for me to let go of the hurt and anger I had, and focus on what was important. That my girls have a mother who loves them more than anything, and will do everything possible to ensure they are cared for, know they are loved, and encouraged to be themselves. Thank goodness they do not need a father for that.

I Don’t Know Why I Was Even Surprised…

Published October 2, 2014 by Angela

…when I looked in the refrigerator this morning, seeing if someone got into the cookie dough, and it was gone. I had meant to put the package of Nestle Toll House pumpkin spice and white chip cookie dough in my mini refrigerator in my bedroom once I baked the Halloween chocolate chip package and Erin realized there was cookie dough in the refrigerator. I forgot when I left for work yesterday morning. This morning; the whole package had disappeared.

This is why I have a mini refrigerator in my bedroom, as well as the bottom of my entertainment center in my bedroom full of cereal, chips, snacks, etc. When the mood strikes Erin, and she fancies something to eat, she will eat it. She will eat it all. Even though she knows she shouldn’t, and that it upsets me, and it is unhealthy for her; she does it anyway. Such as 24 cookie dough squares. Or 6 cans of slim-fast in one night. Or 8 yogurts in a day. She has randomly cooked full loaves of garlic bread in the middle of the night, so when I go to cook the pasta meal I had planned for dinner; no garlic bread. If she finds chocolate anywhere, she will eat it all. I have had whole bags of chocolate chips disappear, entire cans of Pringles, and a dozen eggs at one time.

If I had a bigger bedroom, I would have a bigger refrigerator. Honestly, if I could get away with putting a lock on my refrigerator and pantry, I would. I am sure someone would consider that child endangerment or cruelty or something else along those lines. Even though she is causing herself issues by binge eating like she does.

Have you had a child, sibling, spouse, partner, friend, or roommate do this? How did you deal with it?

Online Schooling…

Published October 2, 2014 by Angela

…is definitely a big improvement for me than last year when I was setting all of the lesson plans, schedules, checking all of the homework, and then helping her with all of it. Now I just have to help her with all of it. And remind her to stay on task. And answer questions she should probably know the answers to. And remind her to stay on task. And explain to her why it is important to at least move her books from the exact location they were in that morning, so it at least looks like she opened them. And remind her to stay on task. And sit with her through her entire Algebra lessons to help her understand. And remind her to stay on task.

Okay, I think you got my point. I am liking this online environment for Erin (I am working on my 3rd college degree online, so it is definitely familiar territory). The one thing I do not like is the assessments are 4 or 5 questions. If she even gets one wrong, her grade drops by a large amount.

We are still working through the bugs, but she is improving from where she was the first week. Hopefully she is finding her rhythm, and we can keep her caught up. She has one huge writing project that gets shared with the social studies assignments as well, and it does get a bit confusing as to what is due when, and which class they want it submitted to.

I am still hoping she will be ready for public high school next year; she is working towards that goal as much as I am. If she is not, I will definitely go this route next year as well.

We made it past Hump Day, on to the weekend!

Enough Of That Fiasco!

Published September 30, 2014 by Angela

I (hopefully) moved all of my blog information back to wordpress.com, and am hoping for a fairly quick reply from Bluehost to refund me my money from my 3 year hosting plan that I paid, minus of course the 5 days of stress when I attempted, unsuccessfully, to use it.
For those of you that have managed to migrate your blog to a self-hosted website, I am beyond impressed. This experience was so stressful to me that I do not know that I would ever attempt it again. And that is really too bad because my control over my blog is again limited.
If you have self-hosted and found an amazing hosting site that did not find it necessary to charge $19.99 just to talk you through the process of moving your domain name, let me know. And no, I did not pay them anything to help me; it did not appear very user friendly right from the get-go.
So, after today, hopefully I can get back on track with my daily blogs, and I apologize for all the errors and non-existent webpages you were likely directed do.
Have a Happy Tuesday!

Smooth Moves and Switching Over

Published September 25, 2014 by Angela

I Hope This Goes Better Than I Am Expecting! Probably not what you expected either, from the title!

I am moving my blogs to a self-hosted website, so I can have more control over how my pages look, as well as what add-ins are displayed. I am hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. So, I will be absolutely devastated if my followers don’t get redirected to my new website as it states it will do.

I know several of you are following two of my blogs, and one of you is following all 3 ( J ). I do not know how long this transition may take, but I will definitely keep them open where they are at until I know I can export everything over.

So, if I disappear for a while, I apologize, I will just be sitting in front of my laptop, crying because I messed something up!

2013’s To Do List – Update

Published September 24, 2014 by Angela

I have been giving an update about every three months for how I am doing with my little to-do list I made for myself of things I wanted to work on in 2014.

1)      Go to church more – was doing very well, but my summer attendance is never good. That will likely be a focus for me next year; figure out why I have such a hard time getting to church in the summer months

2)      Tithing – all good here

3)      Swearing – swearing has become pretty much non-existent for me; except when I am really, REALLY angry about something. I am at the point of when I hear others swearing, the worse the word is, the more I cringe

4)      Yelling – much better here as well, except, again, when I am REALLY angry

5)      Me Time – yeah, it seems I have been doing everything possible to make sure my schedule is as full as possible, at all times. Me, Myself, and I need to have a little chat about this

6)      Patience – much better, except when? Yep. When I am REALLY angry

7)      Exercise – I have been on exercise equipment a couple times in the last month. It certainly is not enough, but it is definitely better than what I was doing. Which was nothing

8)      Read the Bible – I did get this done. I read the entire Bible, front to back. Even the confusing parts in the Old Testament that I would normally skip over. Now I re-read different parts usually on a daily basis

9)      Improve my photography skills – Well I have definitely been taking more pictures, and getting some good results that I am looking for. I certainly am not utilizing the full capabilities of my camera yet

10)   Be Happy – I have been much happier for this past year than I likely ever was in the previous 20 years. I still get down, and upset, and all that other stuff that happens on occasion. But I have truly allowed myself to be happy. To not question if I should be/deserve to be/earned the right to be truly happy

Next years list is what I need to start thinking about now 🙂