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When Your Child Breaks Your Heart

Published April 28, 2014 by Angela

Sound over-dramatic? Probably. Is it over-dramatic? Not to me. I tend to pick my battles with my children, and I don’t pick those battles based on my odds of winning them. I pick them based on their importance. Even if I am likely to lose the battle, I will have made my feelings known.

So to hear something come out of my child’s mouth that goes against everything that makes my life livable, survivable, enjoyable; it felt like she slapped me across the face. A sucker-punch to the gut. A year ago, she could have said the exact same thing to me, and I wouldn’t have felt such a strong reaction. I have been fortunate enough to finally be honest with myself and admit that I needed to change things in my life. To be Happy. Healthy. Alive. To enjoy Life, and stop wasting so much of it saying “if only” and “what if”. To enjoy the blessings I have been fortunate enough to be graced with.

So is this my daughter’s fault that I had a change in my own personal life that was so extreme and powerful that her voicing her beliefs would cut me to the quick? No. I did not get angry at her. I didn’t tell her she was wrong. That she had to feel and believe the same things I do. If it works for me, it will work for her too. She was making a mistake. I said nothing of the sort. I did not believe any of those things, so I could not possibly say those things to her.

What I did say to her? That what she said to me was really hard to hear. I didn’t tell her I was disappointed in her. Does it really matter what it was she said to me? No. You can think up any number of things that a child could say to a parent to get this type of reaction, and everything I stated would apply to that situation too.

“I don’t like church.”

That was it. Those four words. The one thing that has had such a profound change on my health, well-being, and our family life for nearly the past year, and she doesn’t like church. Was I wondering if she doesn’t believe in God and Jesus the same way I do? Nope. What I was wondering was does she have so little appreciation for the huge changes I have made in my own life to improve all of our lives that she just doesn’t really care. Do my efforts mean nothing? She says things are better, but how can she appreciate how much better our lives are but not like church, the very thing that allowed for these changes to take place?

As long as it works for me, it is good enough for all of us. I do not need her to like church in order for it to have a positive influence on my attitude, and my life. I have never forced my children to go to church every Sunday, make them go to Sunday school, or anything they didn’t want to do. Am I short-changing them because I am not exposing them to more religion? I don’t think so. If I live my life as a Godly Woman, they will see that. They can learn by example. They will remember the special memories of any number of things from their past, and they will see how my beliefs played a role in the atmosphere of our experiences. If they choose to raise their own families in a healthy environment where communication and valuing each person are important, they will remember what gave me the ability to live this life I provide for all of us. That is what will lead them to God and Jesus. They will remember the path I followed to get there, so when they are ready, they can find their way there too. And I will be there to help them along the way, but only if they ask for it.

What’s Wrong With the Neighbor’s House?

Published April 5, 2014 by Angela

Why do the neighbor kids all feel the need to hang out at my house? Now, I am not complaining, I really just do not know why everyone always seems to gather outside my door? It’s not like I’m serving cookies and milk and having craft-time at my house 🙂 Once in a while, my girls will go elsewhere, but I would certainly rather have my girls at my house so I know what is going on. I am not a big fan of my kids going to someone else’s house all the time.

Do your kids seem to be magnets to all the neighborhood kids as well?

One Down, Several More To Go

Published April 4, 2014 by Angela

I am beyond happy that my statistics class is over. It was difficult at times, but I have to say I am beyond pleased with myself on how well I did, and how much I learned and retained! I am now taking a class on Organizational Behavior, which appears to be a lot of paper writing in my very, very near future. I generally tend to enjoy these types of classes, once I get that tedious issue of citing and referencing taken care of. This will be my chance to check out the Perrla software that I purchased, and see if it actually helps me. I kind of messed with it a little bit when I first installed it on my computer, and I can’t say I was thrilled with it, but I will definitely give it the good once-over this weekend so I am comfortable with how to use it.

 

I was looking forward to a weekend of working (really, I was!) but that changed so now I am debating on what projects I want to get started on at home. The weather appears to finally be breaking in West Michigan; it sounds like only 1 day with a chance of snow in the upcoming week. I just hope it is warm enough that my girls can enjoy their spring break and not be stuck in the hosue because it is cold and rainy (and therefore, fighting, arguing, and keeping me awake, while simultaneously destroying the house).

 

Which also means I need to buy double the groceries this week. Ughhh. I don’t know how it is in your area, but here, every single type of grocery product has went up a huge amount in price over the last month. One week, I paid $2.54 for a gallon of milk; 6 days later, the same brand was $3.08 for a gallon. I have noticed at least a $0.50 increase on the majority of things I buy every week. Liquid hand soap that was $3.49 for a large container, is now $3.99. I think I will be stocking up on toilet paper this week if that hasn’t went up yet!

 

So here’s to a great weekend of getting things done, and relaxing in-between, and sunshine and warmth, and a good book to read!

Happy Friday!

Published March 28, 2014 by Angela

I have to say, this has been one long week! I am super-happy that Erin’s Friday classes I had to take her to are done for the year. I am also still waiting to hear from the K12 program to get her enrolled in online school for 8th grade. Kendall’s Drivers training got pushed out from starting Monday to starting on April 14, which makes me super-happy as well.

Statistics ends on Wednesday, so I am going to be spending my weekend getting my final assignments and exam finished.

It appears that it is going to be a very rainy weekend here in West Michigan, but it isn’t snowing and I’m not complaining!

What are your fun plans (or maybe not-so-fun chores) for this weekend? Enjoy it, no matter what you are doing 🙂

How Am I Doing On My 2014 To-Do List?

Published March 24, 2014 by Angela

Do you remember my 2014 to-do list? I certainly do! I have been thinking about it for the past almost 3 months, and I have definitely made some improvements! Here’s my list if you want to check out my some-what lofty goals. https://parenthoodandotherhorrorstories.com/2014/01/02/my-2014-to-do-list/

So, what have I worked on, and what do I still need to do?

1) I am going to church a lot more than I did last year. And not just because Erin’s confirmation classes moved from Wednesday night’s during WOW to Sunday mornings between services 🙂 I have went when Erin has decided to skip her classes. I actually read the verses this weekend which is the first time I have done this and I loved it! I can’t participate in activities as much as I would like to, but I do what I can.

2) Of course the more I am going to church, the more I am tithing. It feels good, but I have yet to reach that “give-till-it-hurts” level. Honestly, that is a scary thing for me! But, I have more than doubled my weekly tithing from what I was doing (I am not saying that for bragging rights of any kind, and I find it kind of rude that I am mentioning it, but it was on my list, and I got better! So I will not be bringing this one up again!)

3) Stop swearing. OK, this has gotten a LOT better. Really. But I wonder if the fact that I am still often thinking the words in my head means I have gotten no where? Taste your words before you speak them, right? I am still working on this, but I can say that my swearing is down to maybe a couple times a week; HUGE improvement. I’ll deal with the thinking-the-words issue later.  

4) Stop yelling. Yep, much better as well. I do not yell at my kids when they get me frustrated or don’t listen to me. I tend to just yell when I am upstairs, and they are in the living room or kitchen trying to have a conversation with me. What do I yell? “I can’t hear you. Come here so I know what you are saying!” Kind of ironic, huh?

5) Make and take some “me” time. Nope, not yet. Not really, anyways. I did have one weekend away without my kids this year, and am trying to plan another one. Generally I work 7 days a week if I can, and my college classes keep me busy. But I do still get my recreational reading in. And as soon as it gets above 40 degrees here in Michigan, I am going to the greenhouse for plants.

6) Patience. Yeah. I can say I have gotten nowhere with this one. I pray a lot. For patience. And forgiveness for my lack of patience. Really.

7) Exercise. LOL

8) Read the Bible. Not good here either. I have started 2 different plans, and the reminders daily that I have not got my reading done yet irritated me, so I deleted the plans. However, I do a bible study every Tuesday and with what we read in Church on Sundays and at WOW on Wednesdays, I’m getting some reading in. Yeah, I’m stretching that one.

9) Improve my photography skills. Hmm. Haven’t had my camera out of the camera bag for months. NEXT…..

10) Allow myself to be happy! Yes, I am feeling good, great in fact. College is going good, work is going good, life is going good. Of course there are still numerous bumps in the road, but I am for the most part; Happy!

How are you doing on your to-do list?

When You Would Rather Be Working Then At Home With Your Children

Published March 22, 2014 by Angela

Yes, I will admit it. I cannot wait to leave for work, so I can get some piece-and-quiet. I am so beyond tired of the bickering over “I didn’t get my turn on the laptop, she was on too long, it’s not fair, you never let me……” and on and on and on it goes.

ahhhh, if only I drank :-)

ahhhh, if only I drank 🙂

So, they are going to be super happy to hear that the laptop will be locked in my bedroom for the next week, and that I am getting rid of the cable. That’s two less things they will have to fight about, and I won’t have to pay that crapass company Comcast another 200+ for a monthly cable bill. Of course, we will be having this discussion tonight as I walk out the door for work; that gives them the whole entire night to stew about it, and hopefully start to get over it 🙂

Now I can start getting the “I’m bored song and dance. Get rid of two evils to add another one in 🙂

 

And how is the start of your weekend going?

I’m Sorry You Lost Your 11th Pair Of Headphones…

Published March 15, 2014 by Angela

…and No I will not stop to the store to buy you your 12th pair.

How do you lose something that is literally stuck inside 2 orifices in your body? Do you not notice when you suddenly don’t hear the music that was blasting your eardrums a second ago?

You never take them out when I am talking to you, so I was assuming you just never took them out.

I lost a baton once; no one bought me a new one. I lost a pair of roller skates, too. That really sucked, but that was also about the time I quit leaving my stuff in places it didn’t belong. I would suggest you do the same. Honestly, I am thinking the damn headphones are in one of the pockets of those 2 pairs of jeans that you lost. Go figure.

 

For The 10th Time; No, I Do Not Have Your Pants

Published March 11, 2014 by Angela

I am not even sure if I want to know how a 16 year old girl can lose two (count ‘em; 2) pairs of pants.

“Did you check in that overflowing laundry basket that has been sitting on your bedroom floor for the past month?”   Yes, she did.

“Did you check in the two laundry baskets sitting at the top of the stairs that are both full of your girls’ clean laundry I ran for you this weekend?”    Yes, she did.

“Did you check in your sister’s closet, to make sure I didn’t hang them up thinking they were Erin’s pants?”   Yes, she did.

“Did you look under your bed?”   Yes, she did.

“Did you look under your sister’s bed?”    Yes, she did.

“Did you check your sister’s dressers?”    Yes, she did.

“No, I did not put your 2 pairs of jeans in my closet. I cannot wear your clothes, so why would I take your pants when we do not wash our clothes together?”   She doesn’t know.

Now there are certain things that go on in my house without fail, and I will never deviate from this. I absolutely, without a doubt, will not run my laundry with any of my girls’ laundry. Yes, 1-2 times a week, I run my laundry, all by itself. Not only does it save my clothes from being destroyed by the lip-gloss/markers/crayons/candy/gum that seem to get left in their pockets and laundered on a weekly basis, but it also saves me from having to dig my clothes out of their clothes when the laundry is done. My clothes get washed, dried, and taken care of immediately. They seem to be okay living out of laundry baskets, and unless if I feel motivated to put some of their things on hangers, they keep living out of those laundry baskets.

Now before you get on me about wasting water; I am not running a pair of jeans and a shirt through the washer and dryer. I am running full loads of clothes; and honestly, my girls could do a full load of clothes every, single day of the week and never get caught up on their laundry.

So what I would really like to ask her is:

“Did you leave your pants at school?” “Did you leave them at a friend’s house?” “Did you leave them at your now-ex-boyfriend’s house?” “Did you leave your pants on the bus?” “Did you give these pants to someone?” “Did you somehow wreck these pants and you don’t want to tell me?” “Did you cut these pants up like you do so many other clothes because you were trying to make something else to wear?” “Why do I have to rush to the store to buy you more pants when I’m not the one who lost them?” “Why is it my responsibility to know where you last took your pants off at!?!”

So, the mystery of the missing pants continues. I have literally been having her ask me those same questions on a daily basis for the last several days. If these pants ever turn up again, I will let you know where they were hiding!