kids

All posts tagged kids

You Are The Principal of the School You Will Not Allow Your Children To Go To?

Published October 20, 2015 by Angela

What???

I could not believe as I was scrolling through my Facebook posts that you posted a picture of you child excelling in a sport, at a school you do not work at.

Especially when I have done everything in my power to keep my four Blessed daughters in this school.

We graduated together. We talked old-school when my oldest was under your charge.

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But wait. Are you not satisfied enough with the programs your school offers to allow your own children to go there?

I am so angry right now I cannot even put it into words.

Big Red Pride? Really? Where are your children? Because I have sacrificed everything to keep my girls there.

Do your kids even know where you work?

Trusting Someone Else to be Responsible….

Published June 30, 2015 by Angela

…with your kids. Especially when your 17 year old daughter has had enough and has to come home.

Sent a msg over a week ago for confirmation that something that needed to be taken care of, actually got taken care of.

Still waiting for a reply.

And you wonder why I do not like either of you…

Or find you to be tools that no one wants in their shed.

Very angry that I do not know how my girls are doing; and you better sure-as-shit remember this the next time you ask for a favor.

And NO, I do not grant favors.

Never trust someone with your kids: they will NEVER get it!

If You Could Smack Someone Upside the Head with No Consequences, Who Would You Smack?

Published May 31, 2015 by Angela

See? You had a person in mind, didn’t you? Immediately, there is one person who came to mind. You would love to just box their ears and be able to walk away. They wouldn’t be mad, and you wouldn’t get in trouble.

I, too, have such a person. A person who has went out of their way to try to irritate me, get under my skin, and make me upset. For such a long time that it got old years ago.

Really; who does this to other people? Who does this to other people and gets so much enjoyment from it? What type of person is so low on self-esteem that the only way they can feel good about themselves is to tear other people down?

Yeah; I have that person in my life. I bet you do as well.

Do you wonder what makes them tick? And even more than that, do you wonder what you can do to get back at them?

I do. Every day. Every. Single. Day. I recently told someone that I know God put this person in my life to test me, and make me a better person. But when is He going to make them be a better person?

It gets painful always turning the other cheek. Especially when you get smacked every time you do.

So just take a minute, close your eyes, and imagine smacking that person upside their cinder-block-head, walking away, and no repercussions.

Do you feel better now?

I know I do 🙂

If I Knew That Was All it Took, I Would Have Done it Sooner

Published May 22, 2015 by Angela

I should have done it sooner.

After surviving what was a very depressing, cold winter here in West Michigan, I was anxiously looking forward to Easter, and spring, a vacation to Illinois, and a summer full of plans.

And then life happened. Or I happened. I had a bad day. Okay; a really bad day. I yelled at my boyfriend of 8 years, and said some mean (although easily forgivable), things to him. Apparently that was all it took for him to call it quits.

Wait. WHAT?

Yes. Which leads me to believe he was looking for a reason to call it quits, and as weak as this one was, he jumped at it, snatched it up, and took off running.

So let me go back and explain some things about this 8 year relationship. It was a good relationship. We have probably had about 7 or 8 arguments in that time frame. Literally. We NEVER fought. There was nothing to fight about. We went out with friends, we stayed in, we went on trips, and we did family things with my girls. We had the same interests, but while his children were adults, mine were still young.

And he already raised his kids. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I heard that…”I already raised my kids, I don’t want to do it again.”

Anyone who ever says that to me again will regret it. Instantly, and painfully so.

And I accepted it. I told myself; “It’s okay, you can raise these girls alone, without a father figure in the home, or in their life. When they grow up and move out, then we can get married.”

Yes, I am was that girl.

We took a break a couple years ago. Well, let’s be honest here: he had a lot of things going on in his life, and just kept pulling further and further away from me. He needed time. I could not stand being ignored, pushed away, and left out of the things he was doing. I was officially single.

I got a boyfriend. He was furious and would not acknowledge me when he saw me.

Wait. WHAT?

This is what he wanted. He needed time, he didn’t need a girlfriend. Anyhow…we ended up back together, and it was better than ever. He realized what he had lost when he pushed me away, and he did not ever want to feel that way again. We went out with friends, we stayed in, we went on trips, and we did family things with my girls. Just like before.

We discussed marriage. He was going to get me a ring. Once I had one or two more girls off to college, we would live together. I am not the type of person who now had to bring this up every day. We talked about it on occasion, both comfortable that we wanted the same things.

Although he never knew, and likely never will, I had it in the back of my mind that if he had not given me a ring by December 31, 2015, I was ending the relationship. Because I figured after that, all I could expect was a different set of conditions. ‘Your kids are grown and gone, but now I want to spend time with my grandkids, and you don’t have any of your own.”

Yes; he could have said that without even blinking an eye, and I would not have blinked an eye that he had the nerve to say it.

Harsh? I do not think so. I think 8 years is more than enough time to wait for him to make a real commitment to me that he did indeed want to spend the rest of his life with me.

Anyone who feels the need to think that it was all about the ring; forget it. I can buy my own ring. I take care of my girls without any child support or help from the state. I do not need a man to take care of me. I want a man to share my life with, period. Not their house, their money, or their vehicles. I have all of those things already Thank-You-Very-Much.

So now I have been single for over a month, and am still angry that I never really had the chance to tell him all of these things. I feel like he ran as soon as he saw an opportunity, and I never meant enough to him to even be allowed to have a bad day. I did not get the closure I feel I needed. He is still a great guy, we just want different things. I would only wish the very best for him, but more than that, I need to make sure I have the very best for me. I do not hate him, and I do not wish him ill. It takes as much energy to be angry at or hate someone as it does to love them. Probably more, actually.

If he could not handle me on my worst day, he will never get to enjoy me on my best day.

I have a lot to offer someone, and I know that God will put the right person in my life at the right time. Patience is a virtue, and I am willing to wait for that best relationship ever!

The More Things Change…

Published April 22, 2015 by Angela

…the more they really do stay the same. Such as parenting. In my case; single parenting. I have been a single parent longer than I haven’t, so it really is the only way of life I know.

As each child grows up and sets new goals, and reaches new milestones, it seems there is another coming right behind them and I get the re-runs of what the first (or second, or third!) one did, with the next one doing the same exact things, only with their own style and flair.

My fourth daughter will never, EVER be able to get anything past me. Not only have her 3 older sisters done and said it all, I remember I basically did the same things myself to my parents when I was growing up.

They do grow up, and move out, and get jobs, but they are still every bit as important to me, and I do not worry one bit less about them as they go from being my little girl to being an adult.

I would be lying if I said I was not anxious to have my kids grown and out of the house. And I try not to lie. Does that make me a bad mom? I know some who think that it does. But when your entire life revolves around your children; their wants, their needs, their achievements, and their failures, you do start to forget what it was you were supposed to be doing with your life. When you do it as a single parent (a single parent who has children that do not visit their father for more than 5 days over Christmas each year), you do sometimes feel like you are drowning in what everyone else wants and needs.

What were the goals I had when I was their ages? I honestly do not remember anymore.

When was the last day that I did not have to take someone somewhere, pick someone up, or have extra kids in my house? It has been so long, I don’t remember that either.

I know I need to take time for myself, and it is not like I don’t try to do just that. But by the time I get done taking care of the responsibilities I have as a parent, there is no time left for me.

Do I love my girls? More than anything! Do I regret having children? Not for a second. But that does not make me a bad person or mother because I am anxiously awaiting my empty nest 🙂

I also get told all the time that I will look back on this time and regret wishing my girls would grow up. Honestly, they are spaced 13 years apart from oldest to youngest, so mathematically, by the time the youngest one is out of the house, I will be well beyond ready for my empty nest.

My oldest is graduating from college in 3 days; I love her, and she was honestly the best behaved out of my four girls, but that certainly does not mean I wish she was 6 years old again. Or 12, or 15.

Thanks, but no thanks. That’s what memories are for; and I will have a heart full to think about, in my empty nest, all peaceful and quiet.

When Homeschooling Gets The Best Of You!

Published March 23, 2015 by Angela

I am about to tap the mat, and concede. I have been beaten. How does a 13 year old get the best of me?

I am going to eat up 5 vacation days through my employers so I can take my daughter to her MStep testing. I get to sit around the local hotel while she does her testing. For 5 days.

Why is it that she can sleep until 11am, when I already have 5 hours in at work, and still get her requirements done?

Can we homeschool work?

When You Get Your Butt Kicked By Monday!

Published January 20, 2015 by Angela

Yep, I certainly did.

Monday: 1

Angela: 0

I knew I had a crazy busy day today, and I had it all planned out. Well, planned out in my head of how it would go.

I got out of work late because there were issues in the shipping department that they needed me to fix.

I got to my oil change appointment 15 minutes early, only to have them running late on when they said it would be done. Knowing I was down to 10 minutes to get to my Doctor’s appointment, I let them know that they would be responsible for my $50.00 fee if I missed my appointment. They gave me a discount and got me out on time.

My Doctor’s appointment went as planned, but who likes getting a catheter put in? Yeah; not me. But I get to do this every 2 weeks and that is a whole different story.

I get home and eat some grain salad so I can get to the YMCA and get some exercising done. My Dad shows up to pick up some stuff I had here for him, only to come in and tell me he has a flat tire. By now it is 5:30 pm, so I tell my girls to go ahead without me and I will catch up later.

After getting the tire off, and into my car, we get it repaired, back home, and on the car. By now it is 7:00 pm, and I know I cannot go exercise because I will never get to sleep if I exercise that late. My Dad lives an 1 1/2 away, and I am just happy I was able to keep him calm, get the tire fixed, and visit with him for a couple hours.

So I am going to go to bed, with my cat and a book, and try this again tomorrow!

One Homeschooling Semester Down; One To Go!

Published January 17, 2015 by Angela

I have been beyond frustrated with my daughter and her homeschooling efforts this week. It has been a trying week for me anyways with very little sleep, and terrible headaches.

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I swear to goodness I have no idea what I am going to do next year if she does not go to the public high school 😦

She will be spending many hours this weekend, as well as Monday and Tuesday when she is actually off from homeschool, getting ahead.

What she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her.

And it will certainly help me!

Hoping tonight brings me some sleep, and tomorrow brings me some smiles and peace of mind.

Wishing you a wonderful weekend full of joy, warmth, and wonderful memories!