teenage girls

All posts tagged teenage girls

Sometimes You Just Have To Let It Go…

Published October 21, 2014 by Angela

…and I hope to goodness you do not have that song stuck in your head for the rest of the night! If you do, I am sorry beyond apologies.

I can only fight with my girls for so long, before I need to let it go and let them be responsible for the consequences of their actions. Me trying to fix their mistakes will teach them nothing. Even if letting them make those mistakes is something I will pay for later.

And I will.

I always do.

But I cannot expect them to respect themselves for the decisions they make if I do not truly let them make those decisions.

So you want to ignore your homeschooling assignments for the day? Go ahead. But what are you going to do tomorrow? Or the next day? Or on the weekend when I have nothing better to do than to sit next to you in a chair and make sure you get your homeschooling work caught up?

Because I have nothing but time. Nothing but time on the weekends to read books and look over your shoulder while you do 5 days worth of work in two days. And rest assured, I will make sure you do it.

I Cannot Believe That Did Not Work…

Published October 19, 2014 by Angela

…now I need to find some other thing as leverage to get my 13 year old to do what she is supposed to.

See, it is Sunday. On Sunday’s, Erin has her confirmation classes at our church from 9:30am-10:30am. Last night she said she wanted up at 7:30am to get in the shower. At 7:30am, she said she didn’t feel good. She never feels good. This has gotten her homeschooled, and out of so many things it is ridiculous. I would admire her determination and ability to outsmart me, except it is me that she is outsmarting.

Just make her get up and go, you say? I would be leaving church right now if that were in any way possible. You cannot force a 13 year old who is taller than you, and weighs more than you, to get dressed, and get in a car. 3 years ago, my next oldest daughter and myself managed to get her into the car to drive her to school. This was after a State Police Officer that I called came over to find out why she would not go to school. He spent 45 minutes telling her the importance of going to school, how she was going to get me in trouble, etc. etc. He said she needs a good ass beating, and as long as you do not leave any marks, you are not acting beyond your boundaries. No, I did not beat her behind, even though she needed it. We got her to the school. She got out of the car in the parking lot, and proceeded to run home. So no, I am not able to just make her go.

What did I threaten her with this morning? No laptop. No getting on the internet and playing any games, or talking to her friends, or watching music videos. It used to always work before. So yes, I have to find out what is the latest “most-important-thing-to-Erin” so I can use it as leverage when she wants to start pulling these stunts again.

On that note, since I was up so early, I got some amazing pictures of the Autumn weather here in West Michigan, and these flowers were my favorite.

Frosted Flowers October 19, 2014

Frosted Flowers October 19, 2014

Hoping your Sunday is a beautiful one, full of Blessings and Happiness!

The Calm Before the Storm…

Published October 15, 2014 by Angela

…maybe this storm will pass right by? Yeah. Not likely.

So no one felt the need to ask/tell me that one or more of them want to go live with their dad. I was also gone from 5:30am until 6:30 pm, thanks to a very lengthy Doctor’s visit that has led to several more Doctor visits. More on that, later…

By the time I actually made it home, exhausted, I had to get my participation in for my MBA class, check Erin’s homeschooling assignments (which she is still behind, since she slept until 11 am) of which I have also set a new caught-up date of this coming Saturday.

It is just not going to happen. And I am just not ready for this argument right now. And the attitude. And the slamming doors, and throwing of things important and unimportant. And likely refusal to do homeschooling assignments as some sort of punishment for me when the only person she is hurting is herself.

I just cannot justify letting my emotionally unstable 13 year old teenage daughter move in with her father, who she has not seen since January 2nd. Who cannot keep a job. Who lives who-knows-where. Oh. And he is physically and verbally abusive.

Yeah. Not gonna happen.

So I will prepare myself for the attitude to come, and let her know I am doing what is best for her.

I cannot wait for Christmas and that big battle! 🙂

Some Days I Don’t Know Why I Even Bother…

Published October 14, 2014 by Angela

…doing anything for anyone in this house. Anyone other than myself and my awesome nekkid kitty cat. Because sometimes it is really never appreciated. Actually, it is never appreciated. No, I am not exaggerating. I sure wish I was. But I’m not. I had to take a day off from work to get my homeschooler caught up with her assignments that she has fallen behind on. And while I am reviewing her things on my laptop, she is on their laptop playing games and shopping for clothes.

And this is all happening after I get hit with the fact that she wants to go live with her dad. Her dad who does not call her. Even on her birthday. Her dad that has not seen her since January 2nd. Her dad that is 36 years old and never graduated high school. But hey, him and his 19 year old girlfriend who never graduated either; yeah, they can help her with her algebra. And literature. History? No problem.

I’ll discuss in a later blog how I ended up married to such a worthless bag of skin and oxygen waster.

He has no home. Or vehicle. Or secure job. But yeah, send her there and he will take care of it all. And my 16 year old thinks it is a good idea as well. So I am getting ganged up on by everyone, because after 10 months, he decides he needs to talk about this today as well.

So what I am thinking, since no one cares what the hell I go through to take care of them with NO help from that POS, EVER, that maybe he should take all 3 of them. And I will pay him child support, and marry my boyfriend of 8 years, and start living my life for myself. Because after 22 years of being a Mom, right now, I do not want to do it any more. Not when I get treated like garbage. And used as a taxi, cook, maid, and nurse.

I think it might be time to start living my life for me. They are pretty sure they don’t need my help, so maybe I should just let them see how wrong they are. Because what do I know anyways? I know my 16 year old certainly does not want to live with him, so the fact that she is willing to send her sister there….makes me think she needs to go as well. I think it’s time to start downsizing. If it’s good enough for Erin, well Kendall should certainly be more than willing to go. I mean it is a great place to raise teenage girls, right? Riiiiggghhht.

Maybe tomorrow I will feel different, today I am so hurt and physically sick over this that I cannot see straight.

I Am At A Loss For Words…

Published October 6, 2014 by Angela

…as to how my 8th grade homeschooler could manage to get herself on the brink of being removed from her virtual online school.

What has she done to raise the ire of the homeschooling staff?

She refuses to answer the phone when her homeroom teacher calls; once every other week.

Every.

Other.

Week.

Twice a month. That’s it. She needs to talk to her homeroom teacher twice a month so they know if she has any questions, issues, concerns, etc.

I do not find this to be unreasonable in the least, and have been explaining to her that she has got to take these phone calls. Or I will be driving her to the local public middle school and signing her up for classes there.

I am really, truly, at my wits end with her lack of cooperation.

She is doing the school work. She is smart. She is not confused by the classes or assignments.

She is quickly running out of options, and she is not going to like the only other alternative I have if she refuses public school like I have been dealing with for the past 5 years.

Any ideas? Thoughts? Words of encouragement? Hexes or spells to make her do what she should? Anything?

Uggh. That is exactly how I feel right now.

UGH

2013’s To Do List – Update

Published September 24, 2014 by Angela

I have been giving an update about every three months for how I am doing with my little to-do list I made for myself of things I wanted to work on in 2014.

1)      Go to church more – was doing very well, but my summer attendance is never good. That will likely be a focus for me next year; figure out why I have such a hard time getting to church in the summer months

2)      Tithing – all good here

3)      Swearing – swearing has become pretty much non-existent for me; except when I am really, REALLY angry about something. I am at the point of when I hear others swearing, the worse the word is, the more I cringe

4)      Yelling – much better here as well, except, again, when I am REALLY angry

5)      Me Time – yeah, it seems I have been doing everything possible to make sure my schedule is as full as possible, at all times. Me, Myself, and I need to have a little chat about this

6)      Patience – much better, except when? Yep. When I am REALLY angry

7)      Exercise – I have been on exercise equipment a couple times in the last month. It certainly is not enough, but it is definitely better than what I was doing. Which was nothing

8)      Read the Bible – I did get this done. I read the entire Bible, front to back. Even the confusing parts in the Old Testament that I would normally skip over. Now I re-read different parts usually on a daily basis

9)      Improve my photography skills – Well I have definitely been taking more pictures, and getting some good results that I am looking for. I certainly am not utilizing the full capabilities of my camera yet

10)   Be Happy – I have been much happier for this past year than I likely ever was in the previous 20 years. I still get down, and upset, and all that other stuff that happens on occasion. But I have truly allowed myself to be happy. To not question if I should be/deserve to be/earned the right to be truly happy

Next years list is what I need to start thinking about now 🙂

Questioning Life Changes, Does it Never End?

Published September 21, 2014 by Angela

I always seem to have a difficult time making very important decisions; never being able to stop asking myself, “but what if I did …”. The past year has been full of life changes for me. All for the positive, but never without stress and worry. I will be the first to admit that I overthink everything. Every single thing. At 42 years old, with a great career, family life, and good health, I still stress over making decisions.

Sometimes I wish I could be a kid again, when someone else would make the decisions for me. Then I wouldn’t be the one responsible when it didn’t work out. I have made some bad decisions; some real whoppers! But I do always own up to them, hopefully apologizing when necessary, and definitely learning from my bad choices.

I watch my girls go through the very same thing. Struggling to make decisions. I can see the look on their face when they are hoping I can and will give them the answer. But I can’t. There are some decisions that they have to make for themselves, to learn and grow from. Even when I know that there will be crying later. Broken hearts. Anger. I have to let them own that. They have to take that road that they choose and decide for themselves if they made the right decision.

My outlook as of late has been to take a positive from a negative, and focus on that. Now if I could just teach that to my girls 🙂

Who is Homeschooling Whom?

Published September 16, 2014 by Angela

I am seeing a pattern. And I am not liking it. I seem to be spending more time going through my 8th grader’s homeschooling work, checking her calendar, making sure she has her schedule for the day, etc. etc. You probably know the drill.

But I am not seeing her put forth the same amount of effort as I am. I do not know what else to do to motivate her, but I am fast running out of ideas.

I either need better bribes, or better punishments 🙂

and how is your week going?

I Must Have Needed That

Published July 1, 2014 by Angela

12 hours of sleep straight, only waking up when my kitty thought he needed some attention, has me feeling much better now than I have for the past 4 days. Being a 3rd shift worker and having 9 days off from work is not something I generally look forward to. I rarely have (or willingly take) more than a couple days off in a row. When I am off, I try to maintain my sleep schedule by staying up all night, and sleeping during the day.

A girl’s day yesterday with my 4 daughter’s pretty much pushed me to the limit. I did not feel good eating lunch at Red Robin, I slept through the movie Maleficent, and the several hour mall shopping spree had me at my wit’s end. I kept explaining to them that I just physically did not feel good (they know being off my schedule literally makes me ill), and had to keep apologizing for my lack of patience. I could slowly feel myself turning into one of those parents that make me cringe when I see how they talk to or treat their children. I did not get quite to that point, but I certainly was on my way.

So after all of that sleep, and 4 full days still off from work, I already know I am going to fall asleep for a couple hours, waking up at 2am, wide awake and starving, and be up until about 8am when I am so exhausted I have to go back to bed. I am glad that I do not have anything scheduled or planned that I can’t do around my odd-ball schedule, but I feel like I am missing out on time with my girls; even though we are all physically sitting in the same room right now (minus one), and one is on their laptop, one is on their phone, one is watching television, and I am waiting for a cake to cool so I can frost it.

I also am looking at a whole lot of stuff sitting around that I need to get sorted and taken care of, and have no motivation for that either. So I think I am going to call it a day, eat a piece of cake, and start reading “The Silkworm”, J. K. Rowling’s second book in the Cormoran Strike series (written under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith).

What are your plans as we get closer to the Fourth of July?