church

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Getting back To Work…

Published December 1, 2014 by Angela

…felt very nice! I have been trying to keep myself in a positive mood, but this freezing cold, no sunshine Michigan weather is really unbearable. I really do not know if it is the dreary weather, or true-full-fledged-100% depression that is smacking me upside the face without ceasing.

I really can’t figure it out. What was going on last year at this time that I was so happy about, that is not going on this year? Everything feels the same. It all looks the same. I feel like I have less going on this year than I did last December, but maybe I am wrong. Since my spirits were unbelievably on the ‘up’ side, maybe I was more busy last year, but I just didn’t notice.

I balanced my checkbook this afternoon when I got home from work. I will worry about the -$360.00 tomorrow. (I have the money in there, but I divide my check on a weekly basis per how much each bill needs for a 4 week month. This is necessary when living on one income with no child support). I have some utilities with a credit this month, so I will juggle the money around tomorrow to get out of the red 🙂

My homeschooler fell asleep this afternoon, so she is nowhere near where she should be for today’s assignments. Which means after I clean the kitchen from dinner, her and I get to spend the rest of our (MY) night doing homework.

My goal for December is to find a way to enjoy it. To get to Church as much as physically possible. To lose about 15 of the 30 lbs I stress-ate for the last 3 months. And to NOT drink. Sad to say, after doing so well for so long, I already know that will be tougher than everything else put together.

What is supposed to be the ‘most wonderful time of the year’, can really suck sometimes. And I know it is not that way just for me. So many have a difficult time during the Christmas season. Who thought up that shit-assed saying anyhow? Most wonderful time of the year…..

How Would You Like Me To Reward Your Bad Behavior?

Published October 26, 2014 by Angela

A $75.00 gift card to Amazon?

What?

I was almost speechless, but only for about 2 seconds. My dear 13 year old had an attitude yesterday morning when I told her she needed to get ready to go to her younger sister’s first basketball game. She did not want to go. I explained to her that she needed to go to support her sister, and that her sister would be very upset and hurt to look up in the stands and see everyone there but her. Well, her Dad also, but I think she has pretty much written him off anyhow.

Basketball in hoop

So she was intentionally doing everything in her power to make us late, thinking I would finally give in and just let her stay home. I also was not leaving the house without her, no matter how late we ended up getting to the game.

I think she realized this, as she was at least getting dressed, however slowly. She finally made it to the front door and said “I need to brush my hair.”

“No, you don’t. It looks fine.” More angry-face-crappy-attitude-stomping-of-feet all the way to the car. Did I mention she is 13 years old?

So now I am slowly drinking my coffee, waiting for the 8am mark so I can go get her up to go to her confirmation classes, which she has missed for the last two weeks. I told her yesterday if she did not get up and go to her confirmation classes, and I did not care if she was throwing up all over herself (yeah, I said that. This girl plays the “sick” card like it is her profession), she would not have the laptop left in the mornings to do her homeschooling, and she would spend every evening at the kitchen table with me doing her homework while I do mine.

So here’s to a beautiful Sunday, full of sunshine and Blessings!

Still holding on through the cold weather!

Still holding on through the cold weather!

I Cannot Believe That Did Not Work…

Published October 19, 2014 by Angela

…now I need to find some other thing as leverage to get my 13 year old to do what she is supposed to.

See, it is Sunday. On Sunday’s, Erin has her confirmation classes at our church from 9:30am-10:30am. Last night she said she wanted up at 7:30am to get in the shower. At 7:30am, she said she didn’t feel good. She never feels good. This has gotten her homeschooled, and out of so many things it is ridiculous. I would admire her determination and ability to outsmart me, except it is me that she is outsmarting.

Just make her get up and go, you say? I would be leaving church right now if that were in any way possible. You cannot force a 13 year old who is taller than you, and weighs more than you, to get dressed, and get in a car. 3 years ago, my next oldest daughter and myself managed to get her into the car to drive her to school. This was after a State Police Officer that I called came over to find out why she would not go to school. He spent 45 minutes telling her the importance of going to school, how she was going to get me in trouble, etc. etc. He said she needs a good ass beating, and as long as you do not leave any marks, you are not acting beyond your boundaries. No, I did not beat her behind, even though she needed it. We got her to the school. She got out of the car in the parking lot, and proceeded to run home. So no, I am not able to just make her go.

What did I threaten her with this morning? No laptop. No getting on the internet and playing any games, or talking to her friends, or watching music videos. It used to always work before. So yes, I have to find out what is the latest “most-important-thing-to-Erin” so I can use it as leverage when she wants to start pulling these stunts again.

On that note, since I was up so early, I got some amazing pictures of the Autumn weather here in West Michigan, and these flowers were my favorite.

Frosted Flowers October 19, 2014

Frosted Flowers October 19, 2014

Hoping your Sunday is a beautiful one, full of Blessings and Happiness!

Poor Planning On My Part…

Published October 8, 2014 by Angela

…does constitute and emergency, for me!

This is our first official day of WOW at my church (Worship on Wednesday). We got together last week for dinner and to discuss how we were going to do things this year, getting lessons ready, assigning jobs, etc. I have been teaching one of the small groups for several years now, and I do enjoy my time that I get to spend at church and with the youth groups.

So I have had the entire week to get things in order for the first craft project. Except I didn’t. I mean, I am pretty sure the items I need are already at the church, I had stockpiled a lot of craft supplies there for the last 2 years. But I haven’t really decided on exactly what project I am going to be doing. I am not quite sure exactly what the lesson is for the night, so I want to make sure I pick an activity that fits the theme.

Our youth Minister let us know we really want to focus this year on getting kids to open their bibles. There are lots of fun ways to get them to do this (search for verses, scavenger hunts using verses, acting out verses) and I think it is going to be another great year of WOW.

I just feel completely unprepared, and I have a very busy schedule on Wednesdays with other kids activities going on, plus I need to get my college work in for the day.

So here’s to winging it, and I hope it all works out, like it usually does 🙂

2013’s To Do List – Update

Published September 24, 2014 by Angela

I have been giving an update about every three months for how I am doing with my little to-do list I made for myself of things I wanted to work on in 2014.

1)      Go to church more – was doing very well, but my summer attendance is never good. That will likely be a focus for me next year; figure out why I have such a hard time getting to church in the summer months

2)      Tithing – all good here

3)      Swearing – swearing has become pretty much non-existent for me; except when I am really, REALLY angry about something. I am at the point of when I hear others swearing, the worse the word is, the more I cringe

4)      Yelling – much better here as well, except, again, when I am REALLY angry

5)      Me Time – yeah, it seems I have been doing everything possible to make sure my schedule is as full as possible, at all times. Me, Myself, and I need to have a little chat about this

6)      Patience – much better, except when? Yep. When I am REALLY angry

7)      Exercise – I have been on exercise equipment a couple times in the last month. It certainly is not enough, but it is definitely better than what I was doing. Which was nothing

8)      Read the Bible – I did get this done. I read the entire Bible, front to back. Even the confusing parts in the Old Testament that I would normally skip over. Now I re-read different parts usually on a daily basis

9)      Improve my photography skills – Well I have definitely been taking more pictures, and getting some good results that I am looking for. I certainly am not utilizing the full capabilities of my camera yet

10)   Be Happy – I have been much happier for this past year than I likely ever was in the previous 20 years. I still get down, and upset, and all that other stuff that happens on occasion. But I have truly allowed myself to be happy. To not question if I should be/deserve to be/earned the right to be truly happy

Next years list is what I need to start thinking about now 🙂

Hoping For A Change!

Published June 2, 2014 by Angela

Knowing that I absolutely love my job, and absolutely love my children, anyone who knows me knows that I could not be a stay-at-home Mom. Yes, some may think “Well, you never should of had kids then!”, but I was more than willing to support a stay-at-home husband and father to my kids. He was incapable of even doing that…
So, I have a new hope that a rumor I heard is true, and I will be having a change in my life sometime soon! I have something else to add to my daily list of prayers. I have had this hope before, but also know with absolute certainty that there is a reason things did not go the way I had hoped and wanted. Maybe it was because this time is going to be my moment!
So here’s to focusing on my family, my job, my church, and being happy. Because even though I tend to get blue now and again, things are really pretty great 🙂

6 Month Check-Up

Published May 31, 2014 by Angela

I figured it was time to check back in with my 2014 to-do list, and see where I am at. My original list can be seen here: https://parenthoodandotherhorrorstories.com/2014/01/02/my-2014-to-do-list/

1) Go to church a lot more – I am pretty successful with this one. I don’t miss too often, because I can really tell when I do; my attitude pretty much tanks.

2) Tithe a lot more- Success

3) Stop swearing – doing pretty well. I still swear, but nowhere near as much as I did. I wonder if it counts if I am still thinking the words, and just not saying them?

4) Stop yelling – Better, but I still have my moments

5) Make and take some “me” time – This made me want to cry when I read this. Literally, I felt the tears behind my eyes. This has not happened, and with my kids going non-stop, and me working and going to college, it feels like it is not going to happen anytime soon. I get a 6-week break from college at the end of June, and the girls will be out of school so hopefully I can make this happen!

6) Patience – yeah. Next…

7) Exercise – LOL. Still. Next…

8) Read the Bible – I am up to 1 Samuel. I have gotten through Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, and Ruth.

9) Improve my photography skills – I have not had the camera out very much, at all. I am trying to focus on taking it with me when I go somewhere so I have it handy all the time.

10) Allow myself to be happy – I have been feeling kind of crummy for the last couple of months. As the weather gets nicer, my mood gets more crummy. I think it is just all of the running I have been doing, along with school work. I have been Blessed with so much, and have been focusing on Thanking God for that on a daily basis 🙂

My Sunday Best!

Published May 18, 2014 by Angela

I recently had a conversation with my girls that I thought they were being a little lax in what they were wearing to church. Okay, I was too. Mainly with Erin because she is the one who comes to church with me the most. Honestly, there were some days where she just wasn’t looking like she was going to get up, and she had confirmation classes. So what did I do? I would tell her to wear whatever she wanted, as long as she got up and got to church. Yes, there is a point where I am putting my foot down, no matter what, and that point is pajama bottoms. Absolutely not!

I also told myself no more “blue jeans” because even if I wear a sweater and dress shoes, I am still wearing “blue jeans”. Now, this does not mean that I look down on anyone at church for what they wear. I honestly could not care less what anyone looks like when they get to church, I am just glad they got to church.

So why this dress-code attitude? Church used to be about dresses, and hats, and gloves, suits and ties for the men, and greeting friends and relatives in the morning before the service starts. It was a special occasion, sometimes the only outside exposure to others that stay-at-home dads and moms got. I am glad and grateful to have a church to go to where I can worship safely, and feel welcome, no matter what I am wearing. But I want it to be that special occasion again. That Sunday morning ritual that I look forward to all week long. And honestly, about the only chance I ever get to dress up is church.

So this week, as my girls are still sleeping and I of course am up, the rules for today are wear your play clothes. After the late service the church is having a barbeque luncheon with a bounce house and other activities. I am already questioning how I am possibly going to be able to get any sleep before work tonight, since I could not sleep right now like I had hoped. But I will worry about that later. I am tired of missing out on activities because I need to sleep for work.

So jeans and tennis shoes are the wardrobe of the day, and I am looking forward to this great event my church is putting on.

What Sunday activities has your church done recently?

When Your Child Breaks Your Heart

Published April 28, 2014 by Angela

Sound over-dramatic? Probably. Is it over-dramatic? Not to me. I tend to pick my battles with my children, and I don’t pick those battles based on my odds of winning them. I pick them based on their importance. Even if I am likely to lose the battle, I will have made my feelings known.

So to hear something come out of my child’s mouth that goes against everything that makes my life livable, survivable, enjoyable; it felt like she slapped me across the face. A sucker-punch to the gut. A year ago, she could have said the exact same thing to me, and I wouldn’t have felt such a strong reaction. I have been fortunate enough to finally be honest with myself and admit that I needed to change things in my life. To be Happy. Healthy. Alive. To enjoy Life, and stop wasting so much of it saying “if only” and “what if”. To enjoy the blessings I have been fortunate enough to be graced with.

So is this my daughter’s fault that I had a change in my own personal life that was so extreme and powerful that her voicing her beliefs would cut me to the quick? No. I did not get angry at her. I didn’t tell her she was wrong. That she had to feel and believe the same things I do. If it works for me, it will work for her too. She was making a mistake. I said nothing of the sort. I did not believe any of those things, so I could not possibly say those things to her.

What I did say to her? That what she said to me was really hard to hear. I didn’t tell her I was disappointed in her. Does it really matter what it was she said to me? No. You can think up any number of things that a child could say to a parent to get this type of reaction, and everything I stated would apply to that situation too.

“I don’t like church.”

That was it. Those four words. The one thing that has had such a profound change on my health, well-being, and our family life for nearly the past year, and she doesn’t like church. Was I wondering if she doesn’t believe in God and Jesus the same way I do? Nope. What I was wondering was does she have so little appreciation for the huge changes I have made in my own life to improve all of our lives that she just doesn’t really care. Do my efforts mean nothing? She says things are better, but how can she appreciate how much better our lives are but not like church, the very thing that allowed for these changes to take place?

As long as it works for me, it is good enough for all of us. I do not need her to like church in order for it to have a positive influence on my attitude, and my life. I have never forced my children to go to church every Sunday, make them go to Sunday school, or anything they didn’t want to do. Am I short-changing them because I am not exposing them to more religion? I don’t think so. If I live my life as a Godly Woman, they will see that. They can learn by example. They will remember the special memories of any number of things from their past, and they will see how my beliefs played a role in the atmosphere of our experiences. If they choose to raise their own families in a healthy environment where communication and valuing each person are important, they will remember what gave me the ability to live this life I provide for all of us. That is what will lead them to God and Jesus. They will remember the path I followed to get there, so when they are ready, they can find their way there too. And I will be there to help them along the way, but only if they ask for it.