Sometimes You Just Have To Let It Go…

Published October 21, 2014 by Angela

…and I hope to goodness you do not have that song stuck in your head for the rest of the night! If you do, I am sorry beyond apologies.

I can only fight with my girls for so long, before I need to let it go and let them be responsible for the consequences of their actions. Me trying to fix their mistakes will teach them nothing. Even if letting them make those mistakes is something I will pay for later.

And I will.

I always do.

But I cannot expect them to respect themselves for the decisions they make if I do not truly let them make those decisions.

So you want to ignore your homeschooling assignments for the day? Go ahead. But what are you going to do tomorrow? Or the next day? Or on the weekend when I have nothing better to do than to sit next to you in a chair and make sure you get your homeschooling work caught up?

Because I have nothing but time. Nothing but time on the weekends to read books and look over your shoulder while you do 5 days worth of work in two days. And rest assured, I will make sure you do it.

Doing It Old-School, Kind Of…

Published October 20, 2014 by Angela

…Erin was not very happy yesterday with the you-don’t-go-to-confirmation-classes-no-laptop rule. She was literally up about an hour before she asked if she could get on the laptop.

“No.”

2 hours later…”If I clean can I get on the laptop?”

“No.”

The next hour “Can I please get on the laptop, I just want to play my game.”

“No. You didn’t feel good enough to go to class, you should be resting, not playing games.”

What she really wanted to do was talk to her friend whom she had seen the day before, and the only way he could contact her was through the internet. He must have panicked when she was not online all day, because by 8pm, the neighbor kid came over to see Erin. Apparently Erin’s friend talked to the neighbor online, asked him to come over and see what was going on, and the neighbor likely went back and reported that Erin was fine, and I was just being mean 🙂

I found it rather funny and cute at the same time. I mean, when I was growing up, we would use the telephone, or just walk to the neighbors, but we were always sending a friend to go do the talking for us 🙂

I Cannot Believe That Did Not Work…

Published October 19, 2014 by Angela

…now I need to find some other thing as leverage to get my 13 year old to do what she is supposed to.

See, it is Sunday. On Sunday’s, Erin has her confirmation classes at our church from 9:30am-10:30am. Last night she said she wanted up at 7:30am to get in the shower. At 7:30am, she said she didn’t feel good. She never feels good. This has gotten her homeschooled, and out of so many things it is ridiculous. I would admire her determination and ability to outsmart me, except it is me that she is outsmarting.

Just make her get up and go, you say? I would be leaving church right now if that were in any way possible. You cannot force a 13 year old who is taller than you, and weighs more than you, to get dressed, and get in a car. 3 years ago, my next oldest daughter and myself managed to get her into the car to drive her to school. This was after a State Police Officer that I called came over to find out why she would not go to school. He spent 45 minutes telling her the importance of going to school, how she was going to get me in trouble, etc. etc. He said she needs a good ass beating, and as long as you do not leave any marks, you are not acting beyond your boundaries. No, I did not beat her behind, even though she needed it. We got her to the school. She got out of the car in the parking lot, and proceeded to run home. So no, I am not able to just make her go.

What did I threaten her with this morning? No laptop. No getting on the internet and playing any games, or talking to her friends, or watching music videos. It used to always work before. So yes, I have to find out what is the latest “most-important-thing-to-Erin” so I can use it as leverage when she wants to start pulling these stunts again.

On that note, since I was up so early, I got some amazing pictures of the Autumn weather here in West Michigan, and these flowers were my favorite.

Frosted Flowers October 19, 2014

Frosted Flowers October 19, 2014

Hoping your Sunday is a beautiful one, full of Blessings and Happiness!

Mom, You’re Probably Going To Be Mad At Me…

Published October 18, 2014 by Angela

…is never how I want a conversation to start. But this is exactly what happened Thursday when my 10 year old got home from school. Now, what we did Wednesday was go to the school administration building to get her signed up for basketball. I also paid the $25.00, non-refundable fee. She has been going to 2-3 basketball practices a week, for the past couple of weeks. Wednesday was the last possible day I could sign her up and pay the fee in order for her to be on the team. I waited until the last possible minute to give her ample time to figure out if she did or did not like it, and if it was something she would be able to make a commitment to and follow through with.

So what I said as soon as I heard those terrifying Mom-you-are-probably-going-to-be-mad-at-me words come out of her mouth :

Me: “You do not want to play basketball any longer.”

Her: “No. I’m not very good at it.”

Me: “That is why they have practice. No one can get really good at something without practice.”

Today she was supposed to stay after school for basketball practice.  Which would likely explain the phone call I received at work from her at 8 a.m., telling me her stomach hurt every time she moved.

Really???

So, what I am going to tell her when I get home, is that if she does not want to participate in basketball, she will be doing $50.00 worth of chores around the house, and I determine what that $50.00 worth of chores consists of, or I will directly take $25.00 out of her Christmas money, and she will get less gifts than her sisters. I am not going through this with her every day there is basketball practice.

I will also not allow her to sign up for anything else again. Is this harsh, mean, cruel, I’m a horrible Mommy?

Yeah; I can live with that. Because I am not even going to begin explaining the number of things this child has been signed up for, only to wait until I invest my time and money to the point of no return, and beyond, before she drops out.

You would not even want to guess how much one year of Irish dancing lessons, school uniforms, 2 pairs of shoes, travel time, gas money, days off from work, and hotel rooms can add up to.

Published in our local paper

Published in our local paper

So No, she does not get to sign up for anything else. Unless if it costs me zero dollars, and does not involve me driving or picking her up.

When You Are Always Wrong…

Published October 17, 2014 by Angela

…no matter what you say or do. This is what my girls and I have been going through for the last couple of weeks. I am not quite sure what is happening or why, but things have become very tense in our home, between the girls, and between the girls and I. Yes; some of it is hormones. When you have 4 daughters, you have hormones. But I cannot blame hormones for all of this.

I am willing to take some of the blame. I have managed to get myself involved in a lot of different things that have made my schedule especially chaotic. I have less than 3 weeks left for my college class for my MBA, and then I do not have any more classes for the rest of this year. This is a great relief for me, and I am hoping I can actually enjoy the holiday season this year as much as I did last year. I have been short-tempered with my girls when they cannot do the most basic of chores or even pick up after themselves.

Are you really incapable of taking that glass you drank your milk from back into the kitchen and in the sink, since you are walking out there anyways to bring some other food or drink item into the living room? Every day when I get home, and every morning when I get up for the day, there are various dirty dishes all over the coffee table, end tables, sitting on the floor next to the couch, rocking chair, or anywhere else they feel the need to leave their stuff.

We will not even begin discussing having 4 ladies using one bathroom! I could do a show; “Big Hormones, Little Home.”

What I definitely know because I am always wrong; is that it means I am the Mom. And that I am doing something right. Because if my teens and preteen agreed with me, I would be acting like their friend, and not their Mother. So I will take this any day over the alternative!

The Calm Before the Storm…

Published October 15, 2014 by Angela

…maybe this storm will pass right by? Yeah. Not likely.

So no one felt the need to ask/tell me that one or more of them want to go live with their dad. I was also gone from 5:30am until 6:30 pm, thanks to a very lengthy Doctor’s visit that has led to several more Doctor visits. More on that, later…

By the time I actually made it home, exhausted, I had to get my participation in for my MBA class, check Erin’s homeschooling assignments (which she is still behind, since she slept until 11 am) of which I have also set a new caught-up date of this coming Saturday.

It is just not going to happen. And I am just not ready for this argument right now. And the attitude. And the slamming doors, and throwing of things important and unimportant. And likely refusal to do homeschooling assignments as some sort of punishment for me when the only person she is hurting is herself.

I just cannot justify letting my emotionally unstable 13 year old teenage daughter move in with her father, who she has not seen since January 2nd. Who cannot keep a job. Who lives who-knows-where. Oh. And he is physically and verbally abusive.

Yeah. Not gonna happen.

So I will prepare myself for the attitude to come, and let her know I am doing what is best for her.

I cannot wait for Christmas and that big battle! 🙂

Some Days I Don’t Know Why I Even Bother…

Published October 14, 2014 by Angela

…doing anything for anyone in this house. Anyone other than myself and my awesome nekkid kitty cat. Because sometimes it is really never appreciated. Actually, it is never appreciated. No, I am not exaggerating. I sure wish I was. But I’m not. I had to take a day off from work to get my homeschooler caught up with her assignments that she has fallen behind on. And while I am reviewing her things on my laptop, she is on their laptop playing games and shopping for clothes.

And this is all happening after I get hit with the fact that she wants to go live with her dad. Her dad who does not call her. Even on her birthday. Her dad that has not seen her since January 2nd. Her dad that is 36 years old and never graduated high school. But hey, him and his 19 year old girlfriend who never graduated either; yeah, they can help her with her algebra. And literature. History? No problem.

I’ll discuss in a later blog how I ended up married to such a worthless bag of skin and oxygen waster.

He has no home. Or vehicle. Or secure job. But yeah, send her there and he will take care of it all. And my 16 year old thinks it is a good idea as well. So I am getting ganged up on by everyone, because after 10 months, he decides he needs to talk about this today as well.

So what I am thinking, since no one cares what the hell I go through to take care of them with NO help from that POS, EVER, that maybe he should take all 3 of them. And I will pay him child support, and marry my boyfriend of 8 years, and start living my life for myself. Because after 22 years of being a Mom, right now, I do not want to do it any more. Not when I get treated like garbage. And used as a taxi, cook, maid, and nurse.

I think it might be time to start living my life for me. They are pretty sure they don’t need my help, so maybe I should just let them see how wrong they are. Because what do I know anyways? I know my 16 year old certainly does not want to live with him, so the fact that she is willing to send her sister there….makes me think she needs to go as well. I think it’s time to start downsizing. If it’s good enough for Erin, well Kendall should certainly be more than willing to go. I mean it is a great place to raise teenage girls, right? Riiiiggghhht.

Maybe tomorrow I will feel different, today I am so hurt and physically sick over this that I cannot see straight.

Things That Do Not Happen Often Enough…

Published October 13, 2014 by Angela

…is all four of my daughters being in the same place at the same time. We all have such busy schedules that we literally have to schedule family time as well.

Girls 10-12-2014 012

Autumn is looking beautiful in West Michigan, and I wish it would stay like this for the whole year.

Looking forward to a busy Monday off from work, thanks to an incompetent dentist and my crown falling off my tooth and out of my mouth yesterday. I really wish I could say this is the first time this ever happened, but it is not 😦

May your Monday be filled with Blessings and Sunshine!

Wolf Lake, Baldwin, Michigan

Wolf Lake, Baldwin, Michigan