single parent

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Planning A Weekend For Yourself…

Published October 25, 2014 by Angela

…is seriously under-rated in my house. At least when it comes to my weekends. This is always a crazy-busy time of year for my girls and I, and it seems as they get older, they become more involved in activities that have me constantly in my vehicle going from one school event to the next. I actually had conflicting things going on today and one of my girls was mad that she did not get to do an activity she wanted to do, and we instead went as a family to watch my 10 year old in her first basketball game.

When they grow up, and if they have children, I am sure they will remember days like this when they are in their vehicles doing the same thing that I did for them. It is all a big circle 🙂

So there are some things coming up in the not-too-near future that I am going to start making reservations for now, that way not only do I have something to look forward to, but I know I will actually take that time that I so desperately need in order to recharge Mom!

Wishing you a sunshine-filled beautiful Autumn weekend!

Sometimes You Just Have To Let It Go…

Published October 21, 2014 by Angela

…and I hope to goodness you do not have that song stuck in your head for the rest of the night! If you do, I am sorry beyond apologies.

I can only fight with my girls for so long, before I need to let it go and let them be responsible for the consequences of their actions. Me trying to fix their mistakes will teach them nothing. Even if letting them make those mistakes is something I will pay for later.

And I will.

I always do.

But I cannot expect them to respect themselves for the decisions they make if I do not truly let them make those decisions.

So you want to ignore your homeschooling assignments for the day? Go ahead. But what are you going to do tomorrow? Or the next day? Or on the weekend when I have nothing better to do than to sit next to you in a chair and make sure you get your homeschooling work caught up?

Because I have nothing but time. Nothing but time on the weekends to read books and look over your shoulder while you do 5 days worth of work in two days. And rest assured, I will make sure you do it.

Doing It Old-School, Kind Of…

Published October 20, 2014 by Angela

…Erin was not very happy yesterday with the you-don’t-go-to-confirmation-classes-no-laptop rule. She was literally up about an hour before she asked if she could get on the laptop.

“No.”

2 hours later…”If I clean can I get on the laptop?”

“No.”

The next hour “Can I please get on the laptop, I just want to play my game.”

“No. You didn’t feel good enough to go to class, you should be resting, not playing games.”

What she really wanted to do was talk to her friend whom she had seen the day before, and the only way he could contact her was through the internet. He must have panicked when she was not online all day, because by 8pm, the neighbor kid came over to see Erin. Apparently Erin’s friend talked to the neighbor online, asked him to come over and see what was going on, and the neighbor likely went back and reported that Erin was fine, and I was just being mean 🙂

I found it rather funny and cute at the same time. I mean, when I was growing up, we would use the telephone, or just walk to the neighbors, but we were always sending a friend to go do the talking for us 🙂

When You Are Always Wrong…

Published October 17, 2014 by Angela

…no matter what you say or do. This is what my girls and I have been going through for the last couple of weeks. I am not quite sure what is happening or why, but things have become very tense in our home, between the girls, and between the girls and I. Yes; some of it is hormones. When you have 4 daughters, you have hormones. But I cannot blame hormones for all of this.

I am willing to take some of the blame. I have managed to get myself involved in a lot of different things that have made my schedule especially chaotic. I have less than 3 weeks left for my college class for my MBA, and then I do not have any more classes for the rest of this year. This is a great relief for me, and I am hoping I can actually enjoy the holiday season this year as much as I did last year. I have been short-tempered with my girls when they cannot do the most basic of chores or even pick up after themselves.

Are you really incapable of taking that glass you drank your milk from back into the kitchen and in the sink, since you are walking out there anyways to bring some other food or drink item into the living room? Every day when I get home, and every morning when I get up for the day, there are various dirty dishes all over the coffee table, end tables, sitting on the floor next to the couch, rocking chair, or anywhere else they feel the need to leave their stuff.

We will not even begin discussing having 4 ladies using one bathroom! I could do a show; “Big Hormones, Little Home.”

What I definitely know because I am always wrong; is that it means I am the Mom. And that I am doing something right. Because if my teens and preteen agreed with me, I would be acting like their friend, and not their Mother. So I will take this any day over the alternative!

The Calm Before the Storm…

Published October 15, 2014 by Angela

…maybe this storm will pass right by? Yeah. Not likely.

So no one felt the need to ask/tell me that one or more of them want to go live with their dad. I was also gone from 5:30am until 6:30 pm, thanks to a very lengthy Doctor’s visit that has led to several more Doctor visits. More on that, later…

By the time I actually made it home, exhausted, I had to get my participation in for my MBA class, check Erin’s homeschooling assignments (which she is still behind, since she slept until 11 am) of which I have also set a new caught-up date of this coming Saturday.

It is just not going to happen. And I am just not ready for this argument right now. And the attitude. And the slamming doors, and throwing of things important and unimportant. And likely refusal to do homeschooling assignments as some sort of punishment for me when the only person she is hurting is herself.

I just cannot justify letting my emotionally unstable 13 year old teenage daughter move in with her father, who she has not seen since January 2nd. Who cannot keep a job. Who lives who-knows-where. Oh. And he is physically and verbally abusive.

Yeah. Not gonna happen.

So I will prepare myself for the attitude to come, and let her know I am doing what is best for her.

I cannot wait for Christmas and that big battle! 🙂

Some Days I Don’t Know Why I Even Bother…

Published October 14, 2014 by Angela

…doing anything for anyone in this house. Anyone other than myself and my awesome nekkid kitty cat. Because sometimes it is really never appreciated. Actually, it is never appreciated. No, I am not exaggerating. I sure wish I was. But I’m not. I had to take a day off from work to get my homeschooler caught up with her assignments that she has fallen behind on. And while I am reviewing her things on my laptop, she is on their laptop playing games and shopping for clothes.

And this is all happening after I get hit with the fact that she wants to go live with her dad. Her dad who does not call her. Even on her birthday. Her dad that has not seen her since January 2nd. Her dad that is 36 years old and never graduated high school. But hey, him and his 19 year old girlfriend who never graduated either; yeah, they can help her with her algebra. And literature. History? No problem.

I’ll discuss in a later blog how I ended up married to such a worthless bag of skin and oxygen waster.

He has no home. Or vehicle. Or secure job. But yeah, send her there and he will take care of it all. And my 16 year old thinks it is a good idea as well. So I am getting ganged up on by everyone, because after 10 months, he decides he needs to talk about this today as well.

So what I am thinking, since no one cares what the hell I go through to take care of them with NO help from that POS, EVER, that maybe he should take all 3 of them. And I will pay him child support, and marry my boyfriend of 8 years, and start living my life for myself. Because after 22 years of being a Mom, right now, I do not want to do it any more. Not when I get treated like garbage. And used as a taxi, cook, maid, and nurse.

I think it might be time to start living my life for me. They are pretty sure they don’t need my help, so maybe I should just let them see how wrong they are. Because what do I know anyways? I know my 16 year old certainly does not want to live with him, so the fact that she is willing to send her sister there….makes me think she needs to go as well. I think it’s time to start downsizing. If it’s good enough for Erin, well Kendall should certainly be more than willing to go. I mean it is a great place to raise teenage girls, right? Riiiiggghhht.

Maybe tomorrow I will feel different, today I am so hurt and physically sick over this that I cannot see straight.

Things That Do Not Happen Often Enough…

Published October 13, 2014 by Angela

…is all four of my daughters being in the same place at the same time. We all have such busy schedules that we literally have to schedule family time as well.

Girls 10-12-2014 012

Autumn is looking beautiful in West Michigan, and I wish it would stay like this for the whole year.

Looking forward to a busy Monday off from work, thanks to an incompetent dentist and my crown falling off my tooth and out of my mouth yesterday. I really wish I could say this is the first time this ever happened, but it is not 😦

May your Monday be filled with Blessings and Sunshine!

Wolf Lake, Baldwin, Michigan

Wolf Lake, Baldwin, Michigan

How To Have a Relaxing Sunday!

Published October 12, 2014 by Angela

1) Do your homework on Saturday.

2) Get your homeschooler’s work caught up on Saturday.

3) Make sure you have the basic necessities in the house before Sunday; you know, like milk, bread, toilet paper.

4) Make sure no one is going to call you asking for something (i.e. turn your phone off).

5) Don’t plan a road trip for Sunday.

6) Do not put of until tomorrow (Sunday) what you can do today (any of the 6 days prior to Sunday).

I have done an epic fail at this on this weekend. I have homework, my 13 year old has homework, I need to get groceries, I am hauling my 3 girls to meet my 4th daughter at her college campus so I can get (finally) some updated pictures of the 4 of them together.

At this point I see no need to turn off my phone, because I am not going to be relaxing today. I was on the road yesterday with a car full of kids, and get to do it again today. I need to get a weekend figured out where I truly have nothing to do, and nowhere to be. Hopefully before the snow flies.

Have a beautiful, Blessed Sunday!

When You Do Not Know What To Say…

Published October 11, 2014 by Angela

…when your 10 year old daughter tells you there is a Father-Daughter dance coming up. And she asks if you can call her Father and see if he could go.

And you do not even have a phone number to contact him. Or an address to send him a letter. And he hasn’t seen or talked to her in nearly a year. How do I even respond to this?

I know how I would like to respond, and I certainly know what I would like to say. But I don’t. I don’t because it is not her fault. And it is not my fault. I haven’t moved anywhere. I haven’t changed my phone number. And I would never abandon my children. No Matter What.

I am actually a bit beyond ticked that this school would even have this dance. Or any school. Yes, it is great for the children who still have both parents in their lives, but that is hardly the case with the majority of the children in this school. Or in many school for that matter.

I do not appreciate that my daughter is feeling hurt (and I know she is not the only one) because the school did not think this over very well. And before you get all snotty with me about it, she has went to this school for the past 5 years, and they have never done this before. So it certainly is NOT a tradition for this school. Why not have a child-parent dance, so everyone can be included?

I wish her dad could take her. I wish he would take her. I wish he would call her. I wish he would pick her and her sisters up. But he doesn’t. And he won’t. The two older girls realize it, and do not even ask anymore. I guess as sad as it is, I can at least look forward to the fact that she is very close to not asking anymore either.