How To Have a Relaxing Sunday!

Published October 12, 2014 by Angela

1) Do your homework on Saturday.

2) Get your homeschooler’s work caught up on Saturday.

3) Make sure you have the basic necessities in the house before Sunday; you know, like milk, bread, toilet paper.

4) Make sure no one is going to call you asking for something (i.e. turn your phone off).

5) Don’t plan a road trip for Sunday.

6) Do not put of until tomorrow (Sunday) what you can do today (any of the 6 days prior to Sunday).

I have done an epic fail at this on this weekend. I have homework, my 13 year old has homework, I need to get groceries, I am hauling my 3 girls to meet my 4th daughter at her college campus so I can get (finally) some updated pictures of the 4 of them together.

At this point I see no need to turn off my phone, because I am not going to be relaxing today. I was on the road yesterday with a car full of kids, and get to do it again today. I need to get a weekend figured out where I truly have nothing to do, and nowhere to be. Hopefully before the snow flies.

Have a beautiful, Blessed Sunday!

When You Do Not Know What To Say…

Published October 11, 2014 by Angela

…when your 10 year old daughter tells you there is a Father-Daughter dance coming up. And she asks if you can call her Father and see if he could go.

And you do not even have a phone number to contact him. Or an address to send him a letter. And he hasn’t seen or talked to her in nearly a year. How do I even respond to this?

I know how I would like to respond, and I certainly know what I would like to say. But I don’t. I don’t because it is not her fault. And it is not my fault. I haven’t moved anywhere. I haven’t changed my phone number. And I would never abandon my children. No Matter What.

I am actually a bit beyond ticked that this school would even have this dance. Or any school. Yes, it is great for the children who still have both parents in their lives, but that is hardly the case with the majority of the children in this school. Or in many school for that matter.

I do not appreciate that my daughter is feeling hurt (and I know she is not the only one) because the school did not think this over very well. And before you get all snotty with me about it, she has went to this school for the past 5 years, and they have never done this before. So it certainly is NOT a tradition for this school. Why not have a child-parent dance, so everyone can be included?

I wish her dad could take her. I wish he would take her. I wish he would call her. I wish he would pick her and her sisters up. But he doesn’t. And he won’t. The two older girls realize it, and do not even ask anymore. I guess as sad as it is, I can at least look forward to the fact that she is very close to not asking anymore either.

When There Is Nowhere To Turn…

Published October 10, 2014 by Angela

…there is always one place I can, and do, still turn. That is to my faith, my God, and my Savior. Sometimes that is the only place I can turn, and I am okay with that. That is where I get my strength, courage, and peace of mind. Some days that is the only place I can turn, and even on the days when I do not feel a pressing need to turn to my faith, I still do; to say Thank You. Thank you for my children, my health, my job, a warm home, and the means to support my girls and myself on my own.

So after great accomplishments and gains, I again saw this on my 13 year olds arm today:

Why this again? :-(

Why this again? 😦

She says it has been a year, and I believe her, but why now? She said it was because she couldn’t yell at anyone?

What?
Wait. WHAT?
Does she not think I would rather her yell at someone, myself included, then intentionally hurt herself? We go through this, and get her help, and she takes her medication, but still turns back to this to make herself feel better.

It hurts me that she will hurt herself, and I am so helpless to help her. I have tried everything, times 3, and well beyond.

This is what turns me to my faith. I wish she would start turning to her faith as well.

When You Are Just Too Tired To Care…

Published October 9, 2014 by Angela

…the big things of yesterday seem like minor things today. I thought I was doing fairly well getting acclimated back to 1st shift working / night time sleeping, but I was especially tired today.

I think the fact that I have errands to run, homework to do, and homeschooling work to assist with, I feel even more tired than I really am. The extra caffeine did not help either; it seems to have added to my overall feeling of tired-exhausted-sleepy-crabby-is-it-bedtime-yet attitude.

Dinner is cooked, and I am trying to not be frustrated by the fact that the last time I made potatoes, the girls complained because I did not make enough. So I made the same potatoes x 2, only to have one of them say “Oh, I did not like them that well.”

Not caring. Too tired to care. After I run my errands, I am hoping a great big bowl of ice cream will help me to care about the fact that I have a very important assignment due by midnight for one of my MBA classes.

Ice cream fixes everything, right?

It’s almost Friday, and that makes me smile 🙂

Poor Planning On My Part…

Published October 8, 2014 by Angela

…does constitute and emergency, for me!

This is our first official day of WOW at my church (Worship on Wednesday). We got together last week for dinner and to discuss how we were going to do things this year, getting lessons ready, assigning jobs, etc. I have been teaching one of the small groups for several years now, and I do enjoy my time that I get to spend at church and with the youth groups.

So I have had the entire week to get things in order for the first craft project. Except I didn’t. I mean, I am pretty sure the items I need are already at the church, I had stockpiled a lot of craft supplies there for the last 2 years. But I haven’t really decided on exactly what project I am going to be doing. I am not quite sure exactly what the lesson is for the night, so I want to make sure I pick an activity that fits the theme.

Our youth Minister let us know we really want to focus this year on getting kids to open their bibles. There are lots of fun ways to get them to do this (search for verses, scavenger hunts using verses, acting out verses) and I think it is going to be another great year of WOW.

I just feel completely unprepared, and I have a very busy schedule on Wednesdays with other kids activities going on, plus I need to get my college work in for the day.

So here’s to winging it, and I hope it all works out, like it usually does 🙂

Keeping Your Children Safe On The Internet…

Published October 7, 2014 by Angela

…is a lot harder then I would ever have expected. I have locked down my children’s laptop to the furthest extent I am capable of. I bought a security program that was useless, so I resorted to using Microsoft Family Safety. This security program makes me far more frustrated than it has ever helped protect my kids. Now, I will accept the “explanation” that when they “try” to access a site, say Facebook, that it is going to show up on their activity report, even though they could not get into it.

How exactly is this helping me? Now I have a very extensive list of websites that my daughter may, or may not have, accessed. Yes, there is no replacement for the diligent monitoring a parent can do to help keep their kids safe on the internet. The laptop is used at the kitchen table, with the screen in view of me. This somehow did not prevent my daughter opening a page with the link titled “Beautiful Ladies with big ….”. I cannot even type it here, I am so disgusted.

What did Microsoft Family Safety have to say about this page on her activity log? It could be “suspicious”. What? WHAT? The last word in that edited sentence was of a male body part, but MFS only thinks it may be questionable? Well Microsoft Family Safety, I think you suck worse than your faulty program.

The laptop is locked in my bedroom when I am not at home. But there are also ways around the safety net. Such as logging in and opening the internet and clicking on the site you want from the toolbar before the MFS can even start functioning. I have blocked Tumblr numerous times daily for weeks, I am about 85% positive she is still accessing it.

I am not putting the responsibility of minding my children on an entertainment corporation, but good gracious, at some point I need to use the bathroom, or get the laundry out of the basement, or any other number of tasks that my single mom life requires of me on a daily basis.

I wish there was truly a site that would just block what you want, and not ridiculous things. My daughter homeschools, so it is difficult to block access to news sites when she needs to use information from them, yet she can click on links through there and get to these inappropriate sites.

So, I will continue to look over their shoulders as much as I can, block every website that is inappropriate as they access it (you would not believe the number of social networking sites kids are using; most I have never heard of). At some point I have to rely on them to make the right choices, and I know I raised them in a manner that they know right from wrong. Now I just need to worry about the curiosity and temptation factor that sometimes overwhelms teenagers.

I Am At A Loss For Words…

Published October 6, 2014 by Angela

…as to how my 8th grade homeschooler could manage to get herself on the brink of being removed from her virtual online school.

What has she done to raise the ire of the homeschooling staff?

She refuses to answer the phone when her homeroom teacher calls; once every other week.

Every.

Other.

Week.

Twice a month. That’s it. She needs to talk to her homeroom teacher twice a month so they know if she has any questions, issues, concerns, etc.

I do not find this to be unreasonable in the least, and have been explaining to her that she has got to take these phone calls. Or I will be driving her to the local public middle school and signing her up for classes there.

I am really, truly, at my wits end with her lack of cooperation.

She is doing the school work. She is smart. She is not confused by the classes or assignments.

She is quickly running out of options, and she is not going to like the only other alternative I have if she refuses public school like I have been dealing with for the past 5 years.

Any ideas? Thoughts? Words of encouragement? Hexes or spells to make her do what she should? Anything?

Uggh. That is exactly how I feel right now.

UGH

I Had To Try This Dessert!

Published October 4, 2014 by Angela

And I am eating it as I am typing this. I have seen some random “apple pie slab” recipes, and without really reading them, I figured I would cook something up that fit the bill.

I took 2 tube containers of cinnamon rolls, and layered them in a 9×13 pan (sprayed with non-stick cooking spray). I cooked them for 5 minutes, just to seal the edges, and then added 2 cans of apple pie filling. I then baked them for the required time to make the cinnamon rolls, and let them cool.

Take the cinnamon roll icing, smother your apple pie slab with it, and watch it disappear!

I am still eating my serving (yes, I cut mine extra large), and my girls are eating theirs!

This is quick, easy, and delicious. Bring on Autumn in Michigan!

Slab Apple Pie and Benny 001 Slab Apple Pie and Benny 003 Slab Apple Pie and Benny 009

Things The Neighbor Kids Say, Part 3

Published October 3, 2014 by Angela

My 10-year old daughter’s friend came over, asking if she could come outside to play basketball. Here is what the conversation consisted of:

My 10-year-old: “I thought you were going with your dad?”

10-year-old neighbor: “He said he’s sick. So we can’t go.” (her and her older brother)

My 10yo: “Oh, okay. Are you going to go later?”

10yo neighbor: “No. Because he was supposed to get us two weeks ago, but forgot. And the time before that he couldn’t get us because he had no food. And now he says he’s sick. And that he had us 2 weeks ago. But he didn’t cause we have been at Grandma’s during every weekend for the past month. And Grandma said we are never going over there again. So the only time I will ever see my dad again is if I see him at the store.”

I do not find this amusing, and that is not why I am mentioning it. I find it very sad. I find it sad that this young girl is going to be telling this story to anyone and everyone who will listen, because she wants others to think it doesn’t hurt her. I find it sad that she likely thinks there is something wrong with her because she has a father who is completely useless. I find it sad that my daughter completely understands, because her own father will not pick her or her sisters up, ever.

When did it become so hard for parents to be parents? Not their children’s best friend, but their parent. The one who will support and encourage, teach values and virtues, and discipline not because they enjoy it, but because it is a necessary part of parenting.

It has not been easy on me being a single parent by any means, and for quite a while I was succeeding very well at failing my girls. It took awhile for me to let go of the hurt and anger I had, and focus on what was important. That my girls have a mother who loves them more than anything, and will do everything possible to ensure they are cared for, know they are loved, and encouraged to be themselves. Thank goodness they do not need a father for that.

I Don’t Know Why I Was Even Surprised…

Published October 2, 2014 by Angela

…when I looked in the refrigerator this morning, seeing if someone got into the cookie dough, and it was gone. I had meant to put the package of Nestle Toll House pumpkin spice and white chip cookie dough in my mini refrigerator in my bedroom once I baked the Halloween chocolate chip package and Erin realized there was cookie dough in the refrigerator. I forgot when I left for work yesterday morning. This morning; the whole package had disappeared.

This is why I have a mini refrigerator in my bedroom, as well as the bottom of my entertainment center in my bedroom full of cereal, chips, snacks, etc. When the mood strikes Erin, and she fancies something to eat, she will eat it. She will eat it all. Even though she knows she shouldn’t, and that it upsets me, and it is unhealthy for her; she does it anyway. Such as 24 cookie dough squares. Or 6 cans of slim-fast in one night. Or 8 yogurts in a day. She has randomly cooked full loaves of garlic bread in the middle of the night, so when I go to cook the pasta meal I had planned for dinner; no garlic bread. If she finds chocolate anywhere, she will eat it all. I have had whole bags of chocolate chips disappear, entire cans of Pringles, and a dozen eggs at one time.

If I had a bigger bedroom, I would have a bigger refrigerator. Honestly, if I could get away with putting a lock on my refrigerator and pantry, I would. I am sure someone would consider that child endangerment or cruelty or something else along those lines. Even though she is causing herself issues by binge eating like she does.

Have you had a child, sibling, spouse, partner, friend, or roommate do this? How did you deal with it?