The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,500 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 25 trips to carry that many people.
…and I am still enjoying it. Waking up in the morning, drinking coffee in bed, reading books, and watching mindless Netflix. Napping in the afternoon, not having to cook food, take someone somewhere, go anywhere unless if I choose to, and making being lazy an art form.
I am missing my girls, and truly hoping, and praying several times a day, that they are enjoying themselves, and are okay. I am not going to pretend it is easy having them away for so long, but I am making sure I use up every moment to do the little things I do not ordinarily get to enjoy. Meaning, doing a whole bunch of nothing.
I have to do the Scripture readings at my church’s early service tomorrow, I have a dinner date with my boyfriend and oldest daughter tomorrow or Monday, and a visit to a friend’s house on Monday afternoon. Other than that, I have absolutely nothing I have to do, and no where I need to be, before I return to work on Monday, January 5th.
I am most definitely going to use this time to get myself in a great place feeling rested, relaxed, and recharged. I hope you are able to get some type of personal break as well, and get recharged and ready for the new year. I have BIG things planned for myself and my girls for 2015, and I cannot wait to share that with all of you!
Spending my Christmas evening alone. No girls fighting. No asking for dinner. No arguing over who gets to choose what is watched on television.
Nope. I do not feel guilty. I love my girls to the end of the world, but when you are a single parent, and they only see the other parent one time a year; on Christmas: Yeah, you kind of work up to it.
Wait for it. Plan for it. Expect it. And cheer your behind off when it actually happens! (Which is not always the case).
So I am taking my nekkid kitty to bed, putting on some Hobbit movie that I have seen 76 times, but still not enough, and enjoying the “Silent Night” that I truly know and believe my Gracious Lord Jesus knew I needed.
No, I am not joking or mocking religion. Do you pray? Pray enough for something, and He will truly deliver it to you!
Merry Christmas to each and every one of you! What a beautiful day!
…with the phone calls, and questioning when he can get his girls for Christmas. My girls have been rotating the phone for the past 2 hours, taking turns talking to their dad. While I am struggling to get my 13 year old to sit down and focus on the homework she did not do during the day. Because she slept. So as I manage to get her to stay in front of the laptop for more than 2 seconds, this is what I hear…
Erin: “So, dad is going to talk to you, but he wants to know if he can pick us up on Christmas Eve?”
Me: “And when exactly would you like me to celebrate Christmas with you, since he is keeping you for the entire Christmas break?”
Erin: “I don’t know.”
Me: “He can get you early Christmas morning.”
Erin: “………..” (pouty-face-attitude-coming-for-me-within-the-next-day-or-so).
I do not know how many times he needs to be told to ASK ME before he tells the girls something is going to happen. Yes; I am being a bitch. Would you like to know why I am being a bitch?
Probably not. But I am going to tell you anyway.
1) He does not pay child support
2) He does not regularly visit his girls, unless if you consider once a year regular; if so, he is spot on!
3) He has not bought them (or even made them) one single Christmas gift in the past 5 years
4) He does not call them on their birthdays
5) He does not call them until it gets to be nearly Christmas
Now, I completely realize that the presents have NOTHING to do with the true meaning of Christmas. But when they come home from spending the holidays with him and tell me about all the video games and new things he has bought for himself, and they got nothing; yeah, I get pissed. When I had to drive last year for 4 hours in a blizzard with weather warnings to not be on the road because he suddenly had no way to get them home; yeah, I got pissed. So, he can do one of a few things. He can get them when I say he can. He can call his lawyer. Then we can go in front of the judge and he can explain his lack of father-participation in the upbringing of his girls. Or he can show up on Christmas Eve with the misunderstanding that he is taking his girls that early, and then hang out somewhere until Christmas morning.
I need my girls to enjoy their Christmas. In order for them to do this, I need to deal with these issues with their dad without getting them involved. I wish he would be as considerate of their feelings as well.
…felt very nice! I have been trying to keep myself in a positive mood, but this freezing cold, no sunshine Michigan weather is really unbearable. I really do not know if it is the dreary weather, or true-full-fledged-100% depression that is smacking me upside the face without ceasing.
I really can’t figure it out. What was going on last year at this time that I was so happy about, that is not going on this year? Everything feels the same. It all looks the same. I feel like I have less going on this year than I did last December, but maybe I am wrong. Since my spirits were unbelievably on the ‘up’ side, maybe I was more busy last year, but I just didn’t notice.
I balanced my checkbook this afternoon when I got home from work. I will worry about the -$360.00 tomorrow. (I have the money in there, but I divide my check on a weekly basis per how much each bill needs for a 4 week month. This is necessary when living on one income with no child support). I have some utilities with a credit this month, so I will juggle the money around tomorrow to get out of the red 🙂
My homeschooler fell asleep this afternoon, so she is nowhere near where she should be for today’s assignments. Which means after I clean the kitchen from dinner, her and I get to spend the rest of our (MY) night doing homework.
My goal for December is to find a way to enjoy it. To get to Church as much as physically possible. To lose about 15 of the 30 lbs I stress-ate for the last 3 months. And to NOT drink. Sad to say, after doing so well for so long, I already know that will be tougher than everything else put together.
What is supposed to be the ‘most wonderful time of the year’, can really suck sometimes. And I know it is not that way just for me. So many have a difficult time during the Christmas season. Who thought up that shit-assed saying anyhow? Most wonderful time of the year…..
…about having one more day of work, and then 9 days off. Because as I sit here, I have 3 girls bickering over the most ridiculous BS possible. Cassidy wants to sit on the love seat, but Erin doesn’t want her sitting by her. So Erin asked Kendall to sit on the end of the couch where she is laying down, and she said No.
“Kendall, why can’t she sit at the end of the couch where there is room?”
“I wasn’t listening to her.”
“So you just answered No, when you have no idea what she asked?”
“Yep.”
So now I am thinking maybe having extended days at home is not going to be a good thing. Luckily Kendall and Cassidy have 2 1/2 days of school next week, ending Wednesday afternoon. That gives me a couple days of quiet to get ahead on my reading and house organizing. At least until they get home from school.
I will be the first to admit, I could never, and would never, be able to stay at home full-time with my children. So if you are anti-Moms-working-you-need-to-stay-home-and-take-care-of-the-kids-you-had, save your breath. Just because I had them, does not mean it is the best interest of any of us to have too much together time 🙂 Me going to work for 9 hours and coming home gives me something to look forward to; dinner with my girls, and getting caught up on how everyone’s day was. I tried to be the working mom with the stay-at-home husband/dad; it wasn’t my fault he was an epic failure at that! It is honestly easier to do everything on my own, then to ever have to deal with him on a daily basis 🙂
My children are watching videos of people playing video games.
People playing video games!
Oh my goodness. If it wasn’t snowing and 20 degrees out, I would chuck them all out the front door and make them go to the park.
Yes, I know they could be reading books, doing crafts, etc. etc.
Honestly, I have been having a week. And they are being quiet. And I need quiet. So they can watch videos of people playing video games.
So tomorrow I will put a stop to what has to be the laziest thing possible to ever do; watch others play video games.
Honestly, I still can’t believe it…people recording themselves playing their video games, and others watching it. I would rather they played the games themselves. At least they would be doing something.
…if it stops a disagreement with a 16 year old teenage girl.
When my 16 year old daughter tells me that she has to be somewhere on Monday for tryouts to join yet another activity, I feel I have every right to ask why she is telling me, instead of asking me.
Her answer? “I have talked about this all summer long. You know I have.” ummmm, no I do not. I would remember one of my children wanting to do yet another activity that uses my money, gas and mileage on the car, and time dropping off and picking up.
Her reply again? “It is just one activity, and you have no problem with me taking care of your kids, so why can’t I do this one thing?”
WHOA. Back this train wreck up that you are about to have. I worked 3rd shift. So yes, she “took care of” her sisters while I was working. And they were all sleeping. Sorry for the difficulty.
And she keeps shoving her foot further into her mouth…”Why if I have the money to do this can you still tell me no?”
“BECAUSE I AM THE MOM.” Not to mention you do NOT have any money, you have no vehicle, and you have no job.
So Yes, that is why I get to say “Because I am your Mother and I said so” and you don’t get to do anything about it but mope around the house.
I am really getting beyond tired of the attitudes in this house full of girls, while I try to keep a positive attitude for my own well-being. I really wish my city would start putting Midol in the water supply…
…because since last Saturday, I have been asked, e-v-e-r-y s-i-n-g-l-e d-a-y “When is Dad coming to get us again?” “Is Dad going to get us for Christmas Break?” “Can you call Dad and see if he can go to my basketball game Saturday?” and it goes on-and-on-and-on.
Why does this bother me? Because he made a surprise appearance at my front door, 11 months to the day of the last time he saw his (MY) children. And now I get to deal with this. And the crying, and being upset, and brand new feelings of abandonment when he does not show up again for 11 months. And they were just starting to heal from the last time he did this.
So once again I get to pick up the broken pieces, and deal with the brunt of their anger because he is not around to take it.
Someone is not going to have a happy Christmas, and I guarantee you it will not be my children or myself. He is NOT going to break them again; they can only be put back together so many times before it becomes irreparable.
Sometimes the best thing you can do for your children is to just go away. And if you are someone who is reading this and angry about this post and feel I am being unfair to their “Father”, I am more than willing to post a 10,000 word blog on how he has wronged his children, over and over again. Not to even mention how he destroyed our marriage and relationships between my family members and myself in the process.
So as one of my favorite Motley Crue songs states…”Don’t go away mad, just go away.” Except in this case I could not care less if he is mad. I’ve been mad for 8 years at what he continues to do to avoid taking any responsibility for these girls.
parenthoodandotherhorrorstories 