single mom

All posts in the single mom category

Day One of a New Journey

Published March 12, 2017 by Angela

I have been dealing with some personal issues of a magnitude that even those closest to me are not aware of. While it is not my intention to disclose these issues even now; it is my intention to finally fully own them, face them, and conquer them. 

My journey of raising daughters may be half over, but they will always be my daughters, no matter their stage in life. I also need to make sure I stop losing myself in the chaos and busyness of my life. I really do need to stop and smell the roses. Not occasionally when I make time; but to always make time to do just that. 

As I am in the back seat of my vehicle with 3 of my girls, going to spend the day with the fourth, I am reading a book that I think will truly help me on this journey. It is called “Hands Free Life” by Rachel Macy Stafford, and looks like the perfect book to start this new chapter of my life with; pun intended 😉

When You Aren’t Ready for Christmas…

Published December 15, 2016 by Angela

…how can there seriously be 10 days left before Christmas, and I do not even care?

Like I seriously Do. Not. Care.

Tree? Nope.

Gifts bought? Nope.

Caring about these problems? Nope.

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I think I have found my breaking point, and it is trying to buy a house.

I am so crazy busy at work, end of year stuff and packing up my desk to move to a different department…… trying to make sure goals are met for both old and new departments….

Buying a house that is ready to move in; unless if you ask FHA. Did they NOT learn anything from the last fiasco they caused? That last fiasco they caused has had me in this apartment for 8 years.

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My girls want to move. My naughty cats want to move. And I want to move. But good grief; how can you ask me to take out the washer sink in the basement so I can not do laundry? And not give me an alternative?

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I have 2 of my 4 girls still at home. One is homeschooling 10th grade (which is gonna kill both of us), and a 7th grader who I fight with every day to get up and go to school. And I am trying to do everything I can by both of them so we can all be happy.

So can we please just skip Christmas this year?

 

Success! 2 Down; 2 To Go!

Published May 26, 2016 by Angela

Graduation went fantastic! Kendall has already moved out, a couple of weeks ago, and our relationship has definitely improved.

And as much as I complain about my kids; I am truly Blessed to have been given the responsibility to raise these little girls into beautiful, smart young women!

Is it easy? NEVER.

I honestly look back on some of the things I have went through, and do not know how I made it.

Would I trade it for anything? ehhhh; we will just let that one go for right now.

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I’ve done good; willingly or not…I have been raising some pretty amazing women!

How To Stress Out Your Mom…

Published May 19, 2016 by Angela

Stressed Mom 3

  1. Get a letter in the mail the high school sends in March, letting her know you are in danger of graduating.
  2. Do not let her see that letter, or mention anything about the above situation.
  3. Make her pay $250.00 for your cap, gown, and invitations.
  4. Make her spend $40.00 on stamps, and $80.00 on photos for the invitations.
  5. Make her find addresses and fill all of them out, and get them in the mail.
  6. Continue to NOT tell her there is a chance you are not graduating at all.
  7. Tell her on Monday, at 2 pm, that she has until 3 pm, that day, to pay $161.00 for your band camp bill, or you do not get to receive your diploma.
  8. Again; continue to NOT tell her there is a chance you are not graduating at all.
  9. Let your school counselor call her at work to tell her to get ahold of you and tell you to get to the school, or you are not graduating.
  10. WHAT???
  11. Tell your Mom you are doing your best, but you just do not think you can get it done in time.
  12. Again; do not mention the letter sent to her in March that you opened and disposed of.
  13. Let your Mom call the school counselor 2 hours later, and have the counselor tell Mommy that they sent a letter in March.
  14. Let your Mom find out that you have one more assignment to do, that has to be turned in that day, but you have to work that night.

Stressed Mom 4

I wish I could truly express the amount, and severity, of emotions I was going through for a couple days. But honestly, I would not wish that on my worst enemy. And I have a few.

She passed her class, and she will be graduating with the rest of her class.

And I will be so happy to have the graduation done, the open house finished, and I can go on my merry way, worrying about the 2 girls I still have at home….

UGH

 

It’s Getting Close!

Published May 10, 2016 by Angela

Am I too excited? Probably. Feeling stressed about getting the open house invites out, getting the decorations and centerpieces, and still homeschooling a 9th grader.

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But my soon-to-be graduate is working again, and she is as ready to fly the coop as I am to see her go.

Keep in mind; I have 2 teenagers here sharing a room that are eying the real estate!

Cat Life

The Cats don’t care. Just give them peace-and-quiet!

 

The one thing I know about her more than anything, and the reason we butt heads so much..is I was exactly like her growing up.

Hoping for the best, planning for the worst, and living it all day-by-day.

 

I Think She Is Doing It On Purpose…

Published April 29, 2016 by Angela

…being as irritating as possible, in the hopes that I will tell her to move out before she graduates. Before she gets a job. Before she can financially support herself.

I really do not think she understands that once this happens, she will truly be cut off from any financial assistance from me.

PAOHS 4-28-2016

The only thing that I am still obligated to pay for (kind of), is the car insurance that automatically comes out of my paycheck every week. Which is why two weeks ago I took her to our Secretary of State and signed the car title over to her. Which means I am NOT obligated to have insurance on the car I gave her. But she sure is. That also means I can cancel the insurance tomorrow if I choose to do so.

She has her Senior prom tomorrow. She graduates in 4 weeks. I keep telling her to focus on school; not on how fast she can be a grown-ass adult and living on her own.

So the drama continues. I honestly hope that she is still living in this house when she graduates. Because if she isn’t, I am probably not likely to host her open house the weekend after.

Yes; I am a bad Mom.

I do not care.

PAOHS 2 4-28-2016

I swear to goodness if one more of my children asks me for one tiny thing, my head is going to explode.

I hate seeing I have a message or missed call on my phone. Because I start wondering what one of my kids is asking me for. And 99% of the time, that is exactly what it is.

Yes, I gave birth to them.

No, they did not ask to be born. And when one of them had the nerve to say that to me? My reply was, “It is a good thing you did not ask to be born; because the answer would have been no!”

This sense of entitlement is literally driving me mad, and I am partially responsible for it. Being a single parent with 4 daughters, it was, and still is, hard to fight a specific battle with each specific child every day. Sometimes I gave in. And now I am paying for it.

 

How Bad Should You Make Your Child’s Reality?

Published April 26, 2016 by Angela

I should clarify.

I am talking about my 18 year old daughter who will graduate high school in a month, wants to take a year off before she goes to college, got fired from her job, and is going to move in with her boyfriend of 6 months.

Stressed Mom 1

Now you get the picture.

I have a running bill of over $500.00 that she owes me for her cell phone and monthly cell phone bills. And I made it crystal clear that she is not moving anywhere until she has a full time job, because once she goes, I will not help her.

I will NOT help her. Bad Mom? Whatever. I still have a 14 and 11 year old daughter here that I am raising alone, so if she wants to be a grown up, she can be a grown up.

The way I see it, is if you are not going to college, you have 16 hours a day available to work in order to financially support yourself.

Stressed Mom 2

Ramen noodles? You better get a taste for them. Planet Fitness? Yeah; I ain’t paying that.

It is so tough watching them spread their wings to fly when you can see the crash and burn coming right around the corner.

Parenthood is way over-rated. I was never meant to be a Mom, and should have never been a Mom. But that is a whole different post I will share with you soon enough.

How do you tough-love your kids when they refuse to listen to logic and reason?

So Is It Considered Snooping…

Published March 31, 2016 by Angela

…when you have 2 different daughters who leave their Facebook accounts open; one on IE, and one on Google Chrome? Literally, the computer was completely shut off, and I turn it on, and go to get into my FB account, and voila, they each have their accounts open on a different platform.

Oh; yeah, the answer is “NO”, it is not snooping. I have 2 daughters, one is now 18 and an “adult”, who I am literally counting the days until her graduation, her open house, and packing her up and moving her to Colorado.

Call me a bad Mom, I honestly do not care. My 14 year old has been trouble since she learned what the word was. She is smart, beautiful, and abandoned by her father when she was 4, so any man, and yes I mean Man, that gives her attention; she is all over it.

Kids on Computers

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So I am going to sit here and make sure my girls are safe. Because no one else will. And, unfortunately, no one else cares.

When Is It Okay To Tell Someone They Are Being Ignorant?

Published March 5, 2016 by Angela

Is it ever okay?

If you say it nicely does that make it okay?

Do you just spit it out because it really needs to be brought to their attention?

Or is it only okay when said ignorance puts that person or others in danger?

I have been at a high frustration level all week, and today literally took the cake, and every other dessert right along with it.

I believe in kindness first, even with those who are not kind to me. 

But everyone has their limits, and I am pretty sure mine has been exceeded today. 

My Facebook friends list has been so thoroughly and systematically cleaned out they may force me to shut it down for lack of friends😉

Do you let it get the best of you, or you just say what needs to be said, and sleep better at night?

  

Fighting the System…

Published February 6, 2016 by Angela

…or fighting your kids.

At some point, you have to pick a side.

I side with my children.

Did I want her to go to public school for her high school years, and nail it???

You have NO idea.

But here I sit; homeschooling again.

So now the battle is:

What do you want to be when you grow up? Because you CANNOT live with me forever! Let’s focus on what you like, and study that.

It is never ending.

My just-turned-18-year-old looked offended when I told her Friday…”You graduate in 112 days; and move out in 115.”

Yes; I am that parent.

No; I do not apologize for it.

Raising 4 daughters for the last 24 years being nothing more than a single parent…Dr appointments, school conferences, band concerts, middle-of-the-night not making it to the bathroom vomit sessions, PMS that would kill the Pope….

Yep; move it on, and move it out…

I love you, and I support you, but you gotta go…